Loki's darling

chapter 30

You stood in front of Bucky but didn't get too close. You were prepared for that he would snap again. He looked at you a long time before he spoke up.
"Y/N... nice to meet you in person again, finally." Bucky greeted you gently with little smile. You just glared at him thinking, where you should start.

"So, is it true? Are you my father?" you asked directly. Bucky just nodded slowly. "Father?!" Cap and Tony asked at the same time. You turned on them and gave a glare. They shut their mouths immediately.
You sighed heavily and tried to keep yourself together as you asked the next question. "Then why you left my mother..?"

Bucky sighed too, he looked regretting and sad at the ground. "I didn't left her, she left me.." Bucky replied softly and quietly. "Don't lie to me. Mother told me you left us because you didn't want me!" you grumbled a little at him. You noticed then the anger which had grown inside you for a long time now.
"I didn't want you..? She really told you that?!... She left, because she thought I would be too dangerous to be around you." he replied, still calmly. You raised your eyebrow in confusion. Bucky sighed again. "Right before your birth, Hydra captured me. They brainwashed me and used me as a weapon, but your mother tried to save me from them. And she actually did, she was very powerful woman, like you." he told you with a bit of smile on his face.

"When she finally had rescued me, after three exhausting months, I was messed up. And right at then, you were born. I fought back my demons and tried to be a good father to you, but Hydra had mess with my mind too good. I snapped multiple times and tried to hurt her, but somehow never you." he kept going with his story while a teardrop fell down on his cheek.
"One day,... you were only three back then, ..she decided to left. And she would take you with her. I resisted, I didn't want to lose neither of you. But she thought that you weren't safe with me, so she packed her stuff and left. I tried to stop her but she was too powerful for me. She took you, away from me and I was so furious about it." he sighed and looked at you again with teary eyes.

"Two years passed as I tried to find you. It was hard because Hydra tried to track me at the same time." he struggled. You saw in his face and acting that he really didn't want to tell you what would happen next and you already had guessed why.
"One day, around the same time I found your residence, Hydra captured me again. They tortured and brainwashed me all over again.... and then... they ordered me to kill you and your mother. I resisted but they made me snap. Those bastards made me kill my own family!" Bucky raised his voice and you flinched. Tear fell down on your cheek when you looked at him shocked and terrified.

"Did you... was it..?" you struggled. Words didn't even want to come out of your mouth. Loki took few steps forwards and looked at you concerned.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry. It was me... I murdered your mother." Bucky's voice cracked as he whispered. Tears fell down on his cheeks as he continued. "I regret it so much, you have no idea how sorry I am."

You were speechless, out of words, numb, sad, angry and upset. You wanted to destroy everything around you. "How could you...." you whispered and hobbled few teps towards him slowly. "You killed my mother! How took my mother away from me!!" you yelled in tears. "It was hydra! I was under their control, I didn't have a choice!" he yelled back. "Bullshit! You had a choice! You let them control you and now my mother is dead! I will never forgive you!" you kept yelling. Bucky tried to fight back his bounds and you stopped him by using your power.

You were so upset and furious that you didn't even realize you were chocking him. "Y/N stop!" Cap yelled. Loki ran to you and dragged you away from him. You tried to resist but he was too strong.
"Darling stop, calm down." Loki whispered to you after he had got you far enough from Bucky and you couldn't chocke him anymore.
Cap rushed to check on Bucky and Loki turned your face at him. "Y/N, look at me!" he raised his voice a bit so he could get your attention on him, but you didn't listen. You kept resisting and fighting back until you felt sting in your upper back. You turned around and saw Tony with a needle. Quickly you started to feel dizzy and sleepy. "I'm sorry kid, but you have to calm down." Tony told you gently. You tried to say something but it just came out as mumbling. Loki caught you before you could fall. He pulled you into his arms and whispered softly. "Shh... It's alright darling, I'm here."

You  leaned your head against his chest and he rubbed your back with his hand. You tightened your grip around him as you whispered in tears. "I'm sorry.."
and then you passed out.

*

You woke up in your bed as Loki was next to you running his fingers through your hair. "Morning darling, how do you feel?" he asked softly but obviously concerned. You sat up and let out a litte squeak of pain. "That oaf dazed me." you murmured feeling still little dizzy. "I know my love, and I didn't like it either, but that was only way to calm you down." Loki told you gently. "He killed my mother.." you mumbled as you started to remember yesterday's events. "I know I know, and I am going to hurt him for hurting you like that." he told you still calmly and pulled you closer to him, into his arms.

You let your tears fall down again, you just couldn't stop them. "Shhh... It's okay." Loki whispered into your ear while he tightened his grip around you. He was making sure you felt safe in his arms, as you did.

"I want to go back there, he need to hear what I have to say." you mumbled after a long silence. "No, you won't go there. It's not safe for you." Loki resisted. You sighed heavily. "Please Loki..." you begged. He looked down at you with concerned face. He wiped out a teardrop from your cheek and gave you a little smile. "I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna put you in danger, ever again." he told you gently and leaned forwards to kiss you and you met him halfway. It still felt unbelievable that he was there with you, you had missed him so much.

"I can't still understand that you are here.." you changed the subject. "Of course I am, I would never leave you, not forever... I love you." Loki replied softly and gave you another kiss. "And I love you." you whispered back between your kisses.