Loki's darling

chapter 22

You were still sitting on the floor crying quietly when you heard a knock. "Y/N? Are you there?" Thor asked softly and opened the door. He saw you sitting there and crying. "Where is Loki?" he asked worried. "He.. he had to left." you whispered between your tears. Thor looked at you little shocked but then kneeled down to hug you. He took you into his arms gently and didn't let go. You leaned your head against his chest and he put his chin on top of your head. "Shhh... it's going to be alright." Thor tried to calm you down as he petted your hair. You just couldn't stop crying. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" Thor asked carefully. "No, he needed some time for himself and I totally understand that. After all the events." you replied him and then sat up from his chest. Thor looked at you with regretting look as few tears fell down on his cheeks. "I'm so sorry yellow one, I didn't mean to mess you two up.." he mumbled heartbroken. "Hey, it's okay... we need to just let this go for awhile and calm down. We can figure this out eventually." you convinced him and took his hand in yours.

"Why aren't you angry at me? You should hate me for this." Thor asked and looked at you concerning. "Thor... it's okay, I can't be mad at you. Besides I understand what you're going through right now." you told him softly and smiled a little. He looked at you unbeliefed. Then he raised his hand to dry off falling tear on your cheek. "I'm just so... sorry." Thor whispered. You didn't answer on that anymore. You were still upset about Loki's leaving.

Then Thor stood up and handed you his hand and lifted you up. You looked at him into his eyes and dried off few of his tears.
"Uhm... I'm sorry but I think I need some time for myself to think awhile." you told him next and looked at him apologizing.
"I totally understand, and I will leave you alone if you're sure." Thor replied with little smile. "Thanks Thor."  you said softly and walked out of Loki's room with him. He walked you to your room and then left, so you could be alone.

You headed straight to your bedroom and slumped onto the bed of yours. Few tears fell on your pillow as you shut your eyes to fall in darkness.

*

Thor was in the kitchen when others finally arrived from the mission. It was late evening and they all looked exhausted, but luckily not that injured.

"How did it go?" Thor asked Cap when he came to grab some water. "Well, it was rough and unfair to us, as always. But we won." Cap replied with big deep sigh. "That's.. great." Thor answered. Tony noticed soon that something was wrong with him. "What's going on with you? Usually you grumble that we don't let you come along and joke about being babysitter. (Thor agreed to stay sometimes with you, because they don't take you to the battles often.)

Thor didn't say a thing as he finished his coffee. "Something happened? Where's
Y/N?" Tony started to worry when he noticed that you weren't around as usual. "Is she with Loki?! For god sake, if she is I'm gonna..."

"She isn't, not anymore. You can stop that." Thor raised his voice a bit which made Tony stop. Now Tony looked at him more confused and worried. "Did Loki do something to her? Is she alright?" Tony asked again getting little more furious. Then Thor turned his whole face on him and Tony saw his black eye and few other bruises. Others in the room gasped quietly. "Y/N is alright. Physically. We had a huge fight with Loki which isn't her fault. It was mine.." Thor started and sighed deeply. He explained almost the whole situation to the others, leaving few details off, of course.

Everyone were speechless and worried about you. "Oh gosh.. Where is Y/N?" Tony asked after a short silence. "Still in her room I guess." Thor replied and pointed to upstairs with his finger. "I'll make sure if she's alright." Tony told others concerned about you and headed to the elevator. "But Thor just told us that she wanted to be alone." Clint spoke up before Tony could leave. "Thor also just told us that he hasn't seen her all evening! So I need to check out if she's alright, understand?" Tony growled a bit back at him. Clint raised his hands up. "Alright, alright. Jeez..." he sighed and gave up with Tony.

*

You were still laying on your bed and haven't got up there the whole evening. You just didn't feel like it.

Soon someone knocked on your door and walked in. "Hey kid, you here?" Tony searched for you and ended up to your bedroom. He sighed lightly in relief that he found you. "Thor told us what happened, are you alright?" he asked you softly and gently. You actually never had heard him talk like that. "Yeah, I'm okay." you mumbled under your covers. Tony walked up to you and sat down on your bed next to you. He pulled aside your blanket and looked at you. "Kid, you can talk to me." he said fatherly which was also new side in him. You looked at him strangely and sat up. "Since when you cared?" you murmured at Tony and gave him a little angry look. He sighed long and deeply. "I've always had.. You think that I didn't let you be with Loki because I like to be mean?" Tony asked and it made you look at him more strangely. "No, it was all because I cared. And I don't admit this to a lot of people so you're welcome." he chuckled a bit and it made you smile a little. "You know.. I have always seen you as my... kid." Tony struggled little with his words, clearly thinking should he told that to you or not. You went speechless and looked at him as you started to tear up a little. "Really..?" you whispered softly. "Ever since you moved here, yes." he admitted and looked at you little embarrassed. You knew he didn't like hugs but you decided to give him one anyway. "Thank you.." you replied softly. "As long as you don't start to call me dad or tell anyone about this..." he started chuckling. "I won't." you laughed a bit. He actually had made you feel little better now, but that joy floated away soon, when you remembered Loki again.

Tony noticed your mood switching. "I can try to track that bastard of yours. I would love to chat up a little." he murmured a bit and looked at you. "No, absolutely not. Loki needs time and this wasn't his fault." you told Tony seriously. "Well, then I won't do that.. for now." he replied with little grin on his lips. "And never will, as long as he's not in danger." you said and made sure he got that. He nodded with little disappointed look on his face but he clearly accepted it.

"I'll give you some peace now." he told you next and stood up. You just smiled at him a bit while he headed out of your room.

*

You woke up late at afternoon with horrible headache. It was probably because you had cried all evening and night. You headed to your bathroom to take a long shower and some painkillers. It helped a bit.

You thought a second of going downstairs but you actually didn't feel like it a much, so you decided to go back in bed.

But soon someone were already knocking on your door. "It's Thor, can I come?" Thor asked gently. You didn't answer so he just walked in. "I brought you some food because you haven't showed up to downstairs all day. Everyone are worried about you." He told you and set down the platter on the table. "For nothing, I'm alright." you convinced him.
"Hey, look at me.." he said softly and walked in front of you while you were still laying on the bed. You lifted your head and looked straight into his eyes. They were little red and looked tired, plus he had that nasty black eye.
You noticed that he wasn't feeling well either. You sat up and took his hand. "Are you okay?" you asked him.

Thor smiled a bit and tightened his grip in your hand. He sat down next to you. "You really are asking me that?" he asked you little confused. You gave him a strange look. "Of course? Thor.. you look tired, have you slept at all?" you asked worried about his well-being. "Not actually, I have had trouble sleeping lately. But I'm alright. What about you? You don't look like you have slept much either. Still thinking about Loki?" he replied and then asked. And again you were reminded about Loki which made you feel worse.

"You should get some sleep, It would be good for you." you ignored his questions. Thor looked into your eyes and didn't answer to you anymore as he started to get closer to you. Soon you released what was going to happen and you backed off. "Thor... no. Loki left, but it doesn't mean that we had broke up or something. I'm sorry." you told him gently as you placed you hand on his cheek. "I know.. I'm sorry." he whispered softly and stood up. "I should go.." he added heartbreakingly and headed to the door.
"Thor... I love you, so much. You know that right?" you asked before he could leave. Thor turned on you with tiny smile on his lips. "I know.. and I love you too." he said gently and softly. Then he turned back to the door and headed out.

You sighed and went back under the covers without even touching your food.