All us lads have done was sit around your’s and Lou’s flat. Too many tears have been shed to even know whose was whose, and I think we’re all just pretty much broken by this point.
You could have stayed right? I mean, why did you kill yourself in the first place? You always seemed so happy and it never really seemed like you was heading towards that path.
Louis has been a complete wreck. He keeps crying and I doubt that he has slept once. I know he’s been staying really close to Gemma lately, and I don’t know if that’s to comfort her or if it’s to feel like a part of you is still with him. But I believe the moment you left, a chunk of Louis left with you
Yeah, I probably seem like a little girl writing in a journal right now, but I mean it’s hard. I don’t wanna talk to the lads about this because they are already so broken by this point that I just don’t know what to say anymore. Anything I seem to want to say I have to check twice to make sure it wont make any of them break down. It’s hard though, seeing anything can really be connected back to you, making them all break down.
I believe the funeral was the hardest though. The three of us mates had to hold Louis back from running over to your grave. And that barley worked. He was screaming at the top of his lungs saying that you couldn’t leave him, and I think it took everything I had to not let myself break down right there.
Like I said before, Louis is a mess. I’m debating if I should say anything to the other lads. They probably have noticed by now, but it’s getting scary. Whenever he isn’t around Gemma or your mum he is locked up in the guest room. I forgot to mention that he now refuses to go into his own room. He didn’t have to tell us, but we know that’s where he found you Harry. We all ran over to the flat that day when he called us in hysterics and we found him curled up sitting outside of his room while the paramedics were already downstairs with you, white sheet over you and all. Louis couldn’t stop crying, and I broke down into tears with him, and soon Liam and Zayn followed and broke down too.
Uh oh, I hear screaming again. I think I better go check. Maybe I’ll write to you later Harry, I think it helped me a bit.
~Niall
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11 Letters (One Direction)(Larry Stylinson)
Fanfiction"I know as much as I'm saying sorry it will mean nothing in the long run, but I cant help but apologize. And Louis, you see how my pink blanket is in my hand? The one that matches your blue one. Yeah, I want you to take your pick. You can either put...
