11 Letters (One Direction)(Larry Stylinson)

The Note

Dear Louis,

I’m positive this was unexpected to all of you lads. It’s probably unexpected to everyone, me included. I’m sorry but this was the only way out.

Let me just start off by saying I only had another three months to live anyways. Yeah, you read that right, only three more months until I would be gone. I had stomach cancer Lou. Apparently it was really bad too. I didn’t want to tell you guys because I knew it would tear you guys to shreds and I didn’t want you guys to watch me wither away to nothing. Granted, finding me like this probably wasn’t much better, but I just had to. I’m sorry.

I’m also sorry that I did this in your room Boo. It was just the most comforting place for me, and I figured that since you weren’t home this would be the perfect opportunity. I also did it the least painful and messy way possible, using damn pills. It was the only way I could think of.

I know this letter probably doesn’t make much sense, but I’m just so damn nervous. I cant stop crying as I write this, so ignore any tear stains. I didn’t want you to know what happened or anything, so sorry about all of this. I know it will be hard on you but please don’t blame yourself saying you could have stopped me. Not one single person knew I was going to do this, so don’t go to hard on yourself.

I know as much as I’m saying sorry it will mean nothing in the long run, but I cant help but apologize. And Louis, you see how my pink blanket is in my hand? The one that matches your blue one. Yeah, I want you to take your pick. You can either put it in my coffin with me or you can keep it.

Louis, as I’ve addressed the letter, I figured you have probably found me. Sorry about that by the way, I didn’t want anyone to have to find me, especially since I think you will take this the hardest. But I want you to know that I have left something for you. Eleven letters. Well, this is number eleven, so there’s ten more. They are all hidden in my pillowcase. You can chose to read them whenever you want, and you can show them to the lads if you want to, but they’re written for you.

Tell the lads I love them very much and to keep their heads held high. Also, make sure Mum and Gemma are alright. I want you to keep an eye on the two of them especially, because I know you will care for them just as much as I did. They are like your second family and I know that.

I did it. I just took the pills. I figure you wont be home for a few hours or so, so I know that this must work. Sorry, I didn’t want you to know. Did I say that already? I think I did.

Lou my vision is getting fuzzy and it’s kinda spinning. Is this what death feels like? Because it’s nothing like what I expected it to be.

Sorry if you cant really understand this. I don’t even think I’m making much sense to be honest, everything is just shutting down on me and my mind isn’t really working. My hand is pretty numb too, if that explains why this is all messy.

Boo I think I’m gonna stop writing now. I guess I’ll see you again when I’m watching over you from heaven. If that’s where I go anyways. I wanna go there and not to hell. But who knows eh?

I’m sorry.

~Harry