No Matter What // Harry Styles AU -- Dunkirk inspired

Chapter Sixty-One

Hazel's POV

I sit alone on the steps of the hospital, waiting. The silent mist falls gently on my cheeks; its breathy kiss stings my cold skin.

Concerning.

Abnormal.

Growths.

I understood very little of what the doctor had said, but as his words played over and over in my mind, this I knew to be true: Gran was sick. Far sicker than any of us had initially realized.

I blink back my tears as my eyes focus on the distant grey horizon. The fog hangs thick in the air. The stillness of the world around settles into my bones, leaving my limbs feeling numb and heavy.

"I'm guessin' it isn't good news," a voice says, waking me from my foggy state. I look up to find Louis hovering above me. I simply shake my head, afraid of the growing lump in my throat and turn my gaze back to the horizon.

He breathes in sharply, removing his uniform cap to ruffle his hair. He doesn't say anything, though. Instead, in a small and quiet gesture, I hear him take a seat beside me.

"They say it's cancer," I say quietly.

"Christ almighty," he mutters.

"My sentiments as well."

"How's she feeling?"

"'Bout as to be expected." I reply. "I think we're all still processing."

He nods at this, twisting his cap in his hands.

"You know, " he says after a few quiet moments, "I'm starting to think maybe Harry's gone and picked the wrong nick name for his bird."

I curiously glance back at him.

In a slow and deep voice, he imitates his best friend, exclaiming, "Oh, Roses! My lovely Roses!"

I instantly snort in laughter.

"Oh good grief, you know about that?" I ask.

"Listen, Harry's a good lad and all, However, I rather think myself a clever man."

"Well if you're so clever," I laugh, "What nickname suits me better?"

He cocks one eyebrow, and with a devilish grin, says, "Lucky."

His sarcastic comment somehow mirrors the absurdity of the whole moment and for some strange reason, I find myself laughing despite all that's gone on.

"I mean think about it," he says. "You've come all this way and within a few short months you've got a star-crossed lover, who might I add, you've turned completely soft, an ill family member, and what else- oh that's right, you've now got a houseguest who's a proper pain in the arse."

"Good heavens," I exclaim, "I think you're right." My laughter grows, but as it swells, my lungs turn on me. Tears begin to stream down my face as I lose my breath and begin to weep.

"Aw, dog gone it Hazel," Louis rushes, wrapping his arm around me. I slowly get ahold of myself, embarrassed by my public display of frustration, anger and sadness in front of the entire hospital. "You're alright, You're alright," he coaxes.

"I'm so out of my depth," I manage to get out in between my blubbering. "I just... I just don't know what I'm doing most of the time and I keep messing everything up and making everything worse and now Gran's genuinely sick and I can't let her down again. I just can't. I can't-"

Louis squeezes my arm as my voice breaks.

"I just- I just don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"Listen here, Hazel. You know what you're doing? You're having a proper cry with your good pal, Louis" He stretches his arms out as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. It causes me to at least slightly chuckle as my tears soak my cheeks.