anxiety.

thirty-two.

"still i'm pinned under the weight of what i believed would keep me safe. so show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins."

scarlett.

- faint.

my head was pounding like someone was drumming a hammer on it. i shot up, panting and immediately looked at my surroundings. i was no longer in the quiet street, i was in a home. part of me expected it to be mason's, or more hoped that it was, but when i saw the lack of art on the walls and realized i wasn't lying on a brown suede couch, i knew it wasn't his. and it wasn't connors. i didn't recognize this home in any of my memories. i immediately let out an ear piercing scream at the thought of being in a stranger's home.

my scream was immediately followed by the sound of fast, heavy footsteps. i curled into a ball to hide myself and started crying. on top of getting into a fight with my best friend and breaking up with my boyfriend, i now was being kidnapped. the footsteps grew closer and i felt my body freeze.

"scarlett, you're awake?" a voice asked. my subconscious knew that voice but couldn't place a memory on who it was specifically. i slowly picked my head up with my body shaking vigorously.

"dr. kersey?" i gasped.

"sorry i didn't mean to startle you love. i foun-" he explained but i cut him off.

"what am i doing here?" my voice trembled.

"as i was saying," he resumed explaining. he scratched behind his head, not knowing how to stand to not further frighten me. pretty awkward for a therapist if you ask me. "i found you passed out on the side of the road in the middle of the school day. i know because i pick up skylar some days when i have the time."

skylar's name made me think of mason. thinking of mason made me think of how we broke up. thinking of how we broke up made me instantly burst out into tears again.

"don't be scared scarlett, i'm coming towards you okay?" he said and i nodded.

he eventually sat down on the couch and wrapped his arms around me. i leaned into him, he smelled like sweet cologne. his hands softly rubbed around my back and i wish i could say it helped, but i was a complete mess right now.

"what happened love?" his voice was deep and raspy.

"mason ... broke .. up .. with ... me!" i managed to get out in between my loud sobs. snot was dripping all around my nose. i felt him squeeze me tighter.

dr. kersey gently pulled my body away from his own and wiped the crying debris off of my face with a tissue.

"oh no, i'm so sorry sweet girl." he apologized, pushing back a strand of hair that stuck to my face. "i'm going to go make you some tea love and then we'll talk about it. are you hungry? cold? is there anything you need?"

his words only half registered in my mind and the most i could do was shake my head no. tears were still rolling down my face, but at this point, i just felt numb. i didn't know what i was feeling, whether it was anger, sadness, or anxiety. it felt like all my feelings got melted together in one pot and my body didn't know how to react to the concoction. i tried looking around for the time but there were no clocks in sight. i thought about checking my phone and realized i didn't know where any of my belongings were. i must've fainted with my backpack still on. i couldn't bring myself to care about its whereabouts.

oh god, my head really hurt. if this is what having a hangover feels like, i am never drinking again in my entire life. dr. kersey soon returned holding a steaming mug and set it down on a side table next to where i was sitting. he settled down on the couch next to me, but left enough space that i didn't feel invaded. i pulled the blanket around me up to my chin.