anxiety.

fourteen.

"when i break pattern, i break ground. i rebuild when i break down. i wake up more awake than i've ever been before."

scarlett.

after i got worse, i got infinitely better, which is a little strange to say. something changed in me after that day at the hospital and i honestly couldn't describe what had happened. it took a few days to recover whatever happened that one day.

but after that, life sort of just blossomed from there.

i was barely anxious anymore and i couldn't think of the last time i was living life this happy. it had to be well over three years ago. not to mention it is such a refreshing change, mason and i are simply able to do more together because i feel better all the time. my confidence is through the roof.

today is mason and i's six month anniversary and according to mason he's got the whole night planned out for us. he said to dress elegantly, which made me a bit nervous. but not like an anxious kind of nervous, more like a butterflies in your stomach kind of nervous, an excited nervous. it was almost time for him to pick me up. i soothed out any remaining wrinkles in my red dress.

the doorbell rang and i carefully stepped down the stairs in my heels. i unlocked the door and there stood mason in a grey tuxedo with a black bow tie, holding a bouquet full on sunflowers and roses. he looked up from his phone and stared at me in complete awe.

"oh..wow. you are the most beautiful girl i've ever laid my eyes upon." he spoke, a tear slipping out of his eyes.

"oh my god mason! you're crying!" i exclaimed, immediately putting my arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips. "i love you. besides, look at you baby. you look way better than me."

"happy six months beautiful. let's go celebrate." he spoke opening his car door to let me inside. i couldn't think of how i got so lucky to have him in my life. my cheeks actually hurt from smiling so much.

we arrived at the restaurant he had chosen and it was gorgeous. the inside was dim but little old-fashioned light bulbs hung to keep it from  being to dark to see. each table had a centerpiece with a rose and it was decorated so beautifully. mason pulled out my chair for me and pushed it back in after i sat down.

he had definitely arranged this, considering the waitress brought us champagne even though we were underage. i raised an eyebrow at him as she poured the drink into our flutes and he rose a finger to his lips. after she walked away, i picked up the menu and confusedly spoke,

"how did you..."

"my mom has connections." he cut me off with a wink.

mason and i both ordered our food and it arrived shortly after. we talked as we ate just about life and other things. he would keep making me laugh to the point where i almost spit out our food. we probably seemed like crazy idiots to the people around us. after we finished our meals, mason claimed he had a surprise for me. he pulled out a mini gift bag. i took out the tissue paper to see a small velvet box with a note tied around it. it read:

infinity times infinity is how much i love you. now that you have this, its time for place number two.

i opened the box and inside it revealed a silver ring with an infinity sign covered in diamonds. it was beautiful. he grabbed the box from my hands, carefully removing the ring. "it's a promise ring." he began, taking my hand and sliding the ring onto my finger. "because i promise to love you and be there for you no matter what."

"mason its stunning, thank you." i said softly. i was still in a bit of awe that he got this for me. mason paid for the bill and grabbed my hand to pull me up. we walked out to his car hand in hand.