anxiety.

thirty-one.

"pitch black, pale blue. it was a stained glass variation of the truth... and i felt empty handed."

scarlett.

mason 👼🏼
we need to talk.

'we need to talk.' is probably the scariest text in the world to receive, especially with the period and everything. we need to talk about what? obviously, it was something bad or he wouldn't have given me a forewarning. perhaps it was something concerning skylar or therapy or i don't know.

mason's been acting awfully strange lately. i thought it might have been due to skylar's condition at first. he's been angry at himself for not realizing she was being bullied sooner, but even more so that it was one of his former teammates. but now skylar has returned to full health and been released from the hospital... and he still seems off. every time i try to talk to him about what's bothering him, because i know something is up, he brushes it off or pretends that he's okay and doesn't know what i'm talking about.

maybe this is my karma for closing him off sometimes. i finally know how it feels in return to have the urge to help somebody so much and for them to never let you in. i feel guilty for putting mason in this position so often. i sighed thinking about this drama, but part of me can't help but think it's partially my fault.

i can't decide if i should feel worried about it or not. my gut knows that that text never amounts to any good, but the other part of me knows that mason is a very rationale person. any argument we've gotten into before, we've been able to solve. if you love someone enough, you'll be able to overcome any obstacles that life throws at you. that's my saving grace in any situation, we can get through it, whatever 'it' is anyways.

i grabbed my backpack on the way out, ignoring my mother who was standing in the kitchen making eggs. connor's car was parked outside my driveway. that was another part of mason acting weird, he hadn't been picking me up before class in the mornings. he flashed me a smile as i hopped in and his dimples stuck out more than usual. it only took him one look at me to know something was up.

"still having mason troubles?" he questioned, turning around to back out. i had to laugh at the way he worded the question, making mason sound like an inanimate object. he asked it so casually too, like is you car having problems? but with all the problems they've had with each other, i can see why connor isn't too surprised at the issue.

"he texted me 'we need to talk.' this morning, with the period and everything." i heard connor mumble an 'oh no' quietly, but not quiet enough for me to dismiss it. i continued ranting anyways, "and he's just been acting so strange lately! he doesn't pick me up for school, he barely texts me unless i text him, he hasn't planned any dates for us, it just doesn't make sense!"

"have you guys gotten into any arguments recently? anything that could potentially piss him off?" he continued to ask.

i thought about it for a few moments, trying to brainstorm anything i could think of. after at least a minute of thinking, i still had come up with nothing, which was strange for me since i'm usually able to see the negative outcomes of anything i do. i snapped, "no, i can't think of anything!"

he put his hands up in surrender for a second before settling them back on the wheel. "i'm just trying to help!"

"i know, i know. i'm sorry." i apologized for my emotions getting out of control. my hands were getting sweaty from my anxiety so i wiped them against my jeans. "i'm just frustrated."

"well let's consider the possibilities. on one hand, he could need to talk to you about something exciting, isn't your 1 year anniversary coming up soon?" i nod vigorously. "so maybe he's surprising you and its all an act."