anxiety.

twenty-four.

pacific (instrumental)

scarlett.

today was the day.

no, not that day.

today is not the day that i go to therapy. today is something much better, much more exciting. today was the day mason and i left for hawaii. it felt like he'd gifted me these tickets years ago, but in reality it had only been a few short months. did you remember that this had been one of my gifts? i almost didn't.

he pulled out an envelope, shocking me. i opened the card and two tickets fell out. i read what was written:

in a few months, we'll observe nothing but clear blue seas. but until then, its time to move on to place number three.

i picked up the tickets to take a closer look on what they were for. my eyes widened as i read they were plane tickets for hawaii. i jumped up from the blanket, not caring about the cold air, and let out a scream. i bounced up and down as i read that the tickets were for spring break. that was only a few months away.

"MASON! YOU DID NOT GET US TICKETS TO GO TO HAWAII!" i screamed as i started crying happy tears. mason stood up laughing and grabbed my waist.

"i always tell you the world is yours. i just thought it was time we ventured out into a little bit more." he said, planting a kiss on my forehead and wiping away my tears with the pad of his thumb.

mason and i anxiously sat at the terminal, waiting for our flight to be called for boarding. getting through security had been hell. i had forgotten about the three ounce liquid rule and needed to rearrange my suitcase while mason laughed at me. mason ended up having to be be pat down by an officer for forgetting to take off his watch while going through the metal detectors. maybe you could say that we were not the best or most prepared travelers.

i sipped on an overpriced coffee and bounced my leg up and down. planes were not quite my thing either. there were so many things that could go wrong. the plane could malfunction and we could crash. the plane could be hijacked and we could be taken hostage. there were just too many undesirable outcomes that made me nervous. i wouldn't call it a fear, just something that made me very uneasy.

our flight was called to board over the speakers, making mason and i stand up and grab our luggage. we surprisingly did not have a hard time finding our seats and i sat down right away, leaving mason to have to deal with putting our luggage in the cubbies above. he shot me a look that made me laugh. i plugged in my headphones. the attendant began reviewing the safety procedures by the time mason sat down.

the plane rattled as it began to take off in an upward position. i searched for comfort in mason's hand, making him look over to me. his thumb gently rubbed against his knuckles and he mouthed 'i've got you.' a phrase that he says a lot but always manages to make me feel better. i should mention that the flight from london to hawaii was almost eighteen hours. i had no idea how i was going to be able to sit on this plane for this long. i held my head in the hand that wasn't holding mason's. no matter how steady the plane got, i still had that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

i stared at the fluffy clouds out the window to distract myself. the sun would be setting soon and i knew it must look amazing from up here. mason tugged on my headphone, making it fall out of my ear. he nudged his head towards the isle, making me realize the attendant was waiting on me to respond with what i wanted to drink. i politely asked for tea and went to put back in my headphone but mason grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"everything alright baby?" he asked. mason could naturally tell when i felt uncomfortable by now.

"planes make me nervous." i responded shortly.