Back For More (Gravity Falls)

Chapter Nine, Wondering.

I wanted to tell Mabel. Oh god I wanted to tell her. But I couldn't because I was still worried Bill was watching me. It had been a whole day and he hadn't bothered me. He hadn't bothered me since the kiss.

I desperately wanted to call it 'our kiss' but it was more 'my in the moment kiss' which was more accurate but made me feel more upset about doing it. What if I drove Bill away with a kiss? I mean, the old Dipper Pines would have been happy to have finally figured out Bill's one weakness - but I wasn't feeling much like the old Dipper Pines right now.

Unsuccessful love chalked up to being 'she's not the one' when all this time I should have been deciding if HE was the one or not. Bill had been right about the cause of my numbness, I just didn't want to let it be true. I really didn't want to spend the day debating with myself over my sexual orientation. You had to draw the line somewhere. You had to draw a fucking line in the sand and say to yourself what am I willing to put up with today? Not fucking this.

I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I couldn't bring up Bill. So I decided to talk to Mabel about maybe me being gay, and see what she thinks before I go and start thinking about it myself. Mabel always knew me better then I knew myself anyways. I spotted her in the hall and asked her if she could come and talk to me alone for a minute. She nodded and came running into our room. I closed the door behind us and sat down on my bed. She sat down on hers and folded her hands nicely.

"What's up Dipper?" She asked. I took a deep and shaky breath once I realized exactly what I was planing on doing.

"I have come across a thought," I began, Mabel leaned over from her bed. "And that thought is that I might be gay" I finished. Simple and to the point. Mabel looked at me, smirking.

"What?!" I asked, she walked over to my bed and pulled something our from under the dresser. I blushed because I knew exactly what it was. I stored it here the one summer, I didn't think it was still here. She dumped a pile of yaoi manga's beside me that I was hiding. I gulped.

"I think I knew before you" she said laughing. I collected my manga's and shoved them all under my pillow, face hot and red. I mean, the answer to my sexual orientation was sitting right in front of me and I just by passed it as curiosity all these years. But that's not the case I guess. Now what I was pretty sure what my sexuality was, what would I do about Bill?

"Why the sudden change in thought Dipper? Did you find a guy you liked?" Mabel said. I began to panic almost instantly instead of taking a calm approach I began exhibiting signs of keeping a secret.

"Oh I know that face! You did see a guy you liked!" Mabel said. Oh no, I couldn't tell her about Bill but she knew me too well and she knew I would be lying is I said I didn't see a guy I liked. I had to come up with something to say and fast before she suspected the worst.

"I did. At the mall yesterday. That's why I left early. I was only a little sick, I actually just saw someone I liked and went to go talk to him" I said. What the fuck was that?!

"Ooooo Dipper! Tell me all about him!" Mabel asked, smiling at me and leaning on my shoulder, wanting to know as much as possible. I took a shaky breath, mentally stabbing myself for making up a lie like that. I only had a few seconds to come up with something.

"Well his name is..." I was chocking up ok the first basic question. Quickly Dipper, what is his name?! I drew a blank and looked at a stack of CD's on the floor.

"Drake" I said, extremely unsure of myself. Mabel laughed.

"Drizzy Drake huh? Cool. What does he look like?" She asked. I felt relief knowing she fell for that name. Now I had to come up with an image of him. I thought of Bill, what he looked like in human form.