Because He's My Crush

13 - Square One

"I just wanted you to simply say you like him but instead you guys kissed??" Nova exclaimed, getting attention from few of the students passing by the bench we were sitting on in the school garden.

"Yah can't you be a bit more quiet? Do you want Mrs. Lopez to hear? You know how much she hates students being a couple while in school." I reminded my bestfriend about the most annoying teacher in the whole school, the woman that would do absolutely whatever in her power to stop the girls from hanging out with guys despite being in the last year of high school. She was a pain in the back for almost everyone, both because of this matter and because she was a terrible teacher.

"Oh she won't be coming this way anytime soon, I saw her spilling some tea in the teacher's lounge with the other teachers." Nova said. "Whatever now tell me about your situation again."

"I already did. What more do you wanna know?"

"I mean like, didn't he say anything else? At least like something like 'I like you' or 'we'll find a way'?"

"Well right after the kiss he said that... um... he said that next time he won't let me go until I kiss him back..." I nervously fidgeted with my fingers again at the memory flashing in my mind, my cheeks getting hot with all the blood rushing in. I heard my bestfriend let out a loud squeal and started jumping around with the biggest smile on her face, making it seem like she had won in life.

"Ahhh you're really living that Y/N life from fanfictions you know that? Oh my god I feel like a proud mom watching her daughter going to the prom with the love of her life!"

"Please don't make it weird." I pleaded, not wanting to even imagine the scene in my head. She sat down once again beside me, getting reminded of something suddenly and the smile fading.

"So now what?" She asked the question I had in my mind since the previous day, haunting every thought I had about the boy whom I shared my first kiss with.

Now what?

I won't be attending the math class anymore and there was simply next to impossible chance of him and I meeting again. All there was left for me to do was to go back to the same old boring life I had before I got to know of his existence, back to the days I went through without the butterflies in my stomach or a genuine smile on my face. It hurt to see everything crashing down to square one but once again, it was out of my control. I didn't even have the energy to cry or let my frustrations out anymore, hence I just simply let things play out as it was.

"There's one thing I don't get though." I mumbled almost to myself, Nova's head turning towards me at the words. "Why would he like me?"

"What are you trying to say this time?" She knew from her countless previous experiences that whatever I was about to say, she wasn't going to like it.

"I mean, I'm an absolute nerd from head to toe and I was the most socially awkward girl in the whole class and just look at me, I'm a human version of a big fat garden potato." I gestured to my stomach specifically, the body part that made me feel the most insecure.

That part of my body was the cause of many hurtful things I had to listen to at school and also at home. I hadn't realized how not having a flat tummy would make you the subject to jokes and pranks almost all the time everywhere, until I gained some weight after being on a hospital bed for almost five months because of an accident which happened at the annual sports day at school. Nonetheless, I was working hard to get rid of that belly so these hurtful words will stop but the problem was that I was constantly pushed into sitting down and studying the whole day away that I barely got any exercise.

"What are you even talking about Summer??" Finally Nova went off, silencing me with just her death glare. She took a deep breath before continuing what she was going to say.

"First of all, you aren't a nerd, you're naturally smart and has a really tight schedule for studying, which shouldn't even be a thing honestly. And second, you're an introvert, not socially awkward. Everyone gets nervous with their crush and that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. To heck with what others say Summer, being an introvert is not a bad thing, it's the society's fault for valuing extrovert qualities more. Lastly, I don't care what in the world you were thinking when you imagined yourself as a garden potato but to me, you're nothing less than a limited edition fur-less panda. You give out the best-est hugs of all time and Miles is extremely lucky to have feelings for such a soft pillow and an amazing girl that you are. You are a whole package and it's time you start realizing that."

I stared at my bestfriend fondly, wondering if she knew what her words meant to me. She worked harder than anyone else to get me to love myself for who I am and not what my body looked like or what others said to me. She was basically an angel in human form and I wouldn't ever believe otherwise.

"Stop staring at me like that dimwit. It's uncomfortable." She flicked my forehead that was enough to get me back on track. I hissed in pain and started rubbing the place her finger snapped on my face. "So are you ready to get something from the lunch lady and go back to your old routine for the time being?"

"Do I have another choice?" I asked, not really expecting an answer to the question. Nova didn't say anything but stood up and dragged me with her mumbling how I would forget everything the moment I taste school meals. I didn't know it was a compliment to the food but i complied to her anyways.

[A/N]
I'm feeling slightly under the weather today🤧 Don't get sick you guys, stay safe and healthy❤