Crushin' On U (gxg romance)

~ 5 - The memories ~

The events of last Friday still circled in my mind. I still wasn't entirely sure if I actually cared or not. The breakup was quick and painful, like ripping off a plaster.

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We were sitting at our usual spot table at Molly's, sharing our usual chocolate milkshake. It seemed like any other date, when suddenly Aiden turned to me and said, "There's something I need to tell you, Kai."
"What is it?" I spoke so casually, not expecting on the slightest what he was about to tell me.
"This could hurt." He cleared this throat. "I'm breaking up with you." My jaw dropped, I didn't know what to say.
"I- err." I stuttered.
"It's not you. I just don't think I'm in the right place for a relationship right now."
"That's ok, I understand." I said, even though I knew it was me. Of course it was. Aiden was the kind of guy who is always in the right place for a relationship. Plus, he got together with another girl just two days later.

I left the cafe soon after the breakup. I didn't know how to feel, I guess it made sense to pretend like I cared, when I honestly didn't. It wasn't that I didn't like Aiden, he was a good guy, just not the guy I wanted to be with. Well, it wasn't a guy I wanted to be with, of course, it was Lola.

And she'll never know that.

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I hated that I couldn't get Aiden out of my head. It wasn't that I didn't want to forget about him, because I definitely wanted to forget him, it was just that I couldn't. I didn't like him, I knew that. What I couldn't figure out is if I ever did. Yes, we'd dated, but had I wanted to date him? Or was it just a way of my distracting myself from Lola?

I couldn't help but wish I hadn't kissed him back that first night...

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Lola had dragged me along to what she described as a "small group of Josh's friends, just hanging out at the beach". It ended up as a large number of people getting drunk.

We arrived at the beach, which was apparently owned by Josh's family, and Josh immediately ran up to us.
"Lola, you're here." He then turned to me, and looked me up and down. "And this is...?"
"This is Kai. My best friend." Lola placed an arm round my shoulder, I jumped at her touch then smiled awkwardly at Josh.
"Well, nice to meet you" Josh returned my awrkward smile. Somehow, I think he knew I instantly hated him. Despite this, though, he introduced me to a few of his friends, Aiden included.

Aiden then spent quite a lot of the evening talking to me, and I stupidly engaged in conversation with him. It was fun, I guess, getting to someone new. But the trouble truly started later on that night.

It was late into the night, and I was buried somewhere amidst the pile of blankets, people and pillows on top of the sand. I had wanted to leave earlier, but Lola had convinced me to stay.

I thought I was the only one who hadn't nodded off, but apparently not, as Aiden crawled over to me and out his head next to mine.
"Hey." He whispered softly. I smiled.
"Hi." I responded. He lay down next to me and rested his head on my hands.
"The sky is beautiful tonight, don't you think?" He said, in the same soft whisper. I followed his gaze up to the sky. He was right, it was beautiful. The stars sparkled and shined brightly down on us. "So, you seeing anyone?" He asked it so casually, as if it wasn't a question that would greatly impact my life.
"Me? No."
"Good." I felt his arm slowly wrapping around my waist, and before I could stop him, he softly pressed his lips to mine. I put my arms round his neck and pulled him in towards me. I could feel his heart beating gently against my chest, and his hands sliding up into my hair. After a moment, he leant back, smiled at me, then leaned in again and engulfed my lips in his.

I was overwhelmed by the mix of emotions. The delight, of finally getting my first kiss and the thill of it, adrenaline rushing through my body, and my heart beating the fastest it ever has. But I'm the other hand, I was confused, confused about Lola, and as I kissed Aiden, I wasn't thinking of him at all, I was thinking of Lola.

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I was stupid, stupid to kiss Aiden. If only I had just pushed him away, and said "Sorry, no thanks." I wouldn't be in this situation. I was so annoyed at myself. And Aiden, although it wasn't really his fault he was a dick. I just wish...

I wish I hadn't kissed him. I wish I'd never dated him. I wish it had been Lola instead. I wish Lola knew how I felt. I wish I knew how to tell her. I wish she felt the same way.