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Grenadine Dreams

Grenadine Dreams

25.9K Reads 1.4K Votes 13 Part Story
Coco Nichole By CocoNichole Updated Apr 30

After a long night of drinking and partying, Naya wakes up in her friend's apartment with a terrible hangover. But the thing is, she's not in her friend's apartment and this hangover is the least of her worries. 

There is a voice giving her commands and she has no choice but to obey.

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Excerpt: 
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I was still looking around for the source of the voice. My hangover was screaming at me to sit down, but I was up, frantically looking for a way out of the glass bubble in which I was trapped.

With my small fists, I banged against the red glass. My pounding made quite a ruckus, causing the sound to reverberate and further aggravate my headache.

"Careful with my gold cuffs," the voice warned.

I paused only long enough to look down at my wrists. They were donned with some kind of heavy jewelry. I stared harder. They were golden clamps that nearly reached my elbows. 

I made an effort to remove them, but the disembodied voice just chuckled, "You aren't ever going to get those off, Naya. They're enchanted to keep djinn like you under control."

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Updated version available on Radish: https://radish.app.link/UPyxfGXZkC

Gorgeous cover done by @MulanJiang
Copyright © 2015 by Coco Nichole

MrsCosmopilite MrsCosmopilite Nov 12, 2016
This was a good fix - gives the atmosphere without losing the forward momentum.
strawberry9090 strawberry9090 Nov 12, 2016
This is from a Djinn's perspective. Very cool. How did you learn about Djinn?
Scarletletterheart Scarletletterheart Nov 01, 2016
I felt like her realization of her surroundings might have come a bit too quick here, you could have drawn it out just a little bit more.
Scarletletterheart Scarletletterheart Nov 01, 2016
Very captivating, great pacing. Reminds me of a genie in a bottle...and then that song gets in my head :)
ozthewild ozthewild Nov 07, 2016
Though things didn't work out so well, I really appreciate the mention of Naya having a safety net in the form of Portia and her cats(all of whom I look forward to meeting)when going out and drinking heavily.
icytundra icytundra Nov 04, 2016
Wow, this is an excellent start! Your writing is so easy to read. I would only recommend that you hint more about the bottle that she's in before stating 'glass bubble'.  That way you can incorporate some of her confusion, and the reader can have a better time guessing what she woke up in :)