I didn't know what to say to my daughter, Soellé, when she told me she hated herself. I didn't know what to do when she was at the hospital bed after attempting suicide. But I know that I wished I would have done more than what I did, especially now that she's gone. Soellé was my daylight, with her around I couldn't help but to show the best side of myself. She taught me how to be happy. She taught me how to laugh. But she never taught me how to do these things without her here. - Follow the years of a daughter with mental illness, and from the mothers perspective. This is a short story and poetry about how it could be to lose a child to mental illness. Read at your own caution, this story is not for everyone- suicide and mental illness is getting mentioned.