Those scenes probably played more vividly in my mind than it did hers. I tortured myself by remembering every relationship she ever told me about. How explicit she would get. Complaining about the men she had dated or hooked up with. I was the only one she opened up to on that level. She would tell me about them both to have someone to unload her emotions onto and to toy with the feelings she knew that I had for her. They were nothing to her other than a gateway to ease her own pain. I was her emotional sacrifice just like she was the physical sacrifice for the men that took advantage of her.