"Why are you looking at me like that?" I start to feel self conscious as Tsukishima has been absently staring at me for the past 5 minutes.
"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. You just look different." He says, going back to working on his homework.
"Is that bad?" I ask, moving my eyes back down to my work as well. He's currently sitting at my desk, and I'm sitting on the floor, my back pressed against my bed.
"Maybe. I'm just worried about you." He sighs and I frown, putting my stuff down and sitting on my bed.
"Why? I'm fine." The corners of my lips tug down.
"How long do you work out? And how often?" He asks, scribbling down something on his paper.
"What?" I chuckle nervously. "Where's this coming from?"
"What you're doing is dangerous. You know that right?" He puts his pencil down and turns to me, reaching into his pocket and shaking the bottle of pills.
I gulp, bouncing my leg up and down.
"This isn't healthy. Are you trying to kill yourself?" He asks, his tone quickly changing to hold anger in it.
"Calm down. It's working isn't it? It's fine." I cross my arms over my chest and he sighs.
He takes the top off the bottle and strides over to the bathroom.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask, quickly following him.
He doesn't respond, just walks to the toilet and dumps them in there.
"Tsukishima, what are you doing?!" I grab his hand, but they're already gone. He snatches his hand away from me, flushing the toilet and throwing the bottle in the trash.
"I told you they're dangerous, didn't I?" He leans against the bathroom doorframe and I gape at him.
"Tsukishima that's the only thing helping" I say angrily and he walks to me, cupping my face.
"Are you even trying?" He asks.
"Fuck off." I say, shocked he would even ask that. "Of course I tried! You think I get bullied all my fucking life and I wouldn't try?!" I push him off me and walk into my room.
"One of the side effects of diet pills is a change in attitude." He says, following me.
I roll my eyes, not responding.
"Why can't you see that I'm just worried about you?" He asks and I sit on my bed, facing away from him.
"Why can't you see that I'm doing it for you?!" I exclaim, trying to hold back tears.
It silent for a moment before I feel the bed dip from his weight.
"For me? Why would you do that?" He puts a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it lightly.
"I don't want to embarrass you anymore." I sniffle, a few tears slipping out.
"What? When do you embarrass me?" He gets up and walks around me, sitting in front of me.
"All the time! Just because we don't go out doesn't mean you're not embarrassed of me. I don't even know why you like me! I'm big! You're the opposite of me. You should have a fit girlfriend. Someone skinny and pretty and-"
"I can't stand to hear you talk anymore." He crosses his arms, glaring at me. "If you keep going, I'll break up with you."
I look up at him, hastily wiping away my tears. He stares at me, face blank.
"You should. You deserve a lot better." I whisper quietly. He doesn't respond for a moment, but when he does his face is still unchanged.
"You're an idiot. Seriously." He sets his glasses on my desk and rubs his face. "It's getting tiring having to say this to you all the time. It's starting to feel like I'm your babysitter, not your boyfriend. I'm tired of having to reassure you that I don't care how you look. I don't care about your weight, and I'm so sick and fucking tired of you comparing my body to yours. I don't care if you lose weight or not. But if you insist on doing it in an unhealthy way- I don't want to be with you."
I look up at him, realizing just how much I've probably annoyed him. We've only been dating for two days, but even before that I complained about my appearance.
"I-I'm sorry." I put my head in my hands. "I'm sorry. I'll stop. I won't take those pills anymore. I'm sorry. I don't want to bother you anymore."
"Just don't say those things anymore, okay? I want you to be comfortable in your own body. I try so hard to make you feel like you're perfect, yet you still think there's something wrong with you."
I feel him wrap his arms around me, and pull me down so we're both laying on our sides.
"I don't want us to break up. I'm sorry for saying that. I'll be better, I promise." I bury my head in his chest and I feel him nod.
"Good. Because I don't want us to break up either." I feel him kiss my forehead.
"I can't believe we're dating." I mumble and he snorts.
"I can't believe I came here every day trying to talk to your father. If it were anybody else I would have quit the first day." He sighs and I look up at him.
"You know...he's not home right now." I say and my cheeks showcase a light pink color.
He raises an eyebrow, propping himself up on his elbow.
"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting...?" He asks and I fiddle with his shirt.
"Only if you want! I mean-"
"Your mom only left to the store. Are you sure?" He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"The one she likes to go to is far." I mumble and he climbs on top of me.
"Good, I don't really like going fast. I want to take my time with you." He says before crashing his lips on to mine. "Let me show you how perfect you are."
~
"You're so...mean." I say between breaths, and he chuckles, lazily putting an arm around me.
"I thought I was fairly nice that time." He notes and I snort.
"Nice? You're never nice, you always tease me. I think 70% of the time is you just teasing me." I look up at him through hooded eyes and he smiles, kissing my forehead.
"So you dont like it?"
"No, no! That's not it." I shake my head quickly and his body vibrates with his laugh. "I do, I like it. I'm sorry." I pout.
"Next time...let's try some new things." He stands up, beginning to put his clothes back on.
"O-Oh, okay." My cheeks heat up. I sit up in bed, adjusting my shirt that I refused to take off.
"Do you want a bath or a shower? I'll start the water for you." He says, walking to my bathroom.
"A shower would probably be best. My mom should be home any time now" I stand up, waddling to my closet and wrapping my towel around my waist.
I hear the water turn on, and a second later he comes out.
"Alright, I'll wait for you out here in case your mom gets back before you're done." He says and I nod, walking over to the bathroom.
"Uh, are you sure you dont want a bath? Was I that rough?" He follows me into the bathroom and I chuckle.
"You're fine. I think today I was just extra sensitive." I turn around and put my hands on his chest. "Now get outtttt!" I giggle, shutting the door after him.
I quickly get into the shower, willing my slow movements to go faster. I exfoliate, cleanse, and scrub my body as fast as I can before getting out.
Then I wash my face, and moisturize everywhere. Wrapping a towel around my body, I walk into my room and see that Tsukishima has a few folded articles of clothing next to him.
"I picked out clothes for you." He says and I grin, grabbing them.
"Thank you." I say before quickly disappearing into the bathroom and getting dressed.
"Wear the hoodie too." Tsukishima says when I walk out, only wearing the long sleeve and leggings he picked out.
"This isn't mine." I set it on the edge of the bed before sitting next to him.
"Well duh, it's mine. See, it has a little dinosaur in the corner." He opens up the sweater, pointing at the embroidered sweater.
"Aw, it's very cute." I smile and he stuffs it in my lap.
"Put it on." He demands and I shift uncomfortably.
"Later." I fold it, setting it back down on my lap.
"Why not now? You can get sick. It's cold in your house. I thought girls like this kind of thing? Wearing their boyfriends clothes? I'm your boyfriend so why aren't you wearing it?" He crosses his arms and I look away from him.
"I-I will. Just not right now." I mumble, but he's just not having it.
"Is it because you want to keep the scent? I sprayed extra cologne, it's fine."
No you big dummy! It's because I'm shaped like an oompa loompa and you're literally a pasta noodle.
"I-I just don't want to right now..." I begin to feel anxious. I fiddle with my fingers, shifting on the bed.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I abruptly stand up.
"Yup!" I pop the 'p', setting the sweater down and walking to my desk, taking an anti anxiety.
"You're not okay." He sighs. "Are you worried about if it'll fit you?" He asks and I sit in the desk chair, facing away from him and trying to calm myself down.
Only when I don't feel like I want to pop out of my own skin, do I answer.
"A-Are you going to break up with me if I say y-yes?" I ask quietly, continuing to fiddle with my fingers. A moment later, he's kneeling down in front of me and giving me a gentle smile.
"I won't." He responds, and then his expression goes back to his normal, cool one. "I always buy clothes that will be baggy on me because I don't like to feel trapped in them. And because of my height I have to size up anyways. I think they'll be baggy on you as well. But if you really hate the idea, then I don't want to force you. Let's talk to each other when we have a problem, okay?" He asks and I frown, leaning down to press my forehead against his.
"You threatened to break up with me if I talk about that kind of thing. I got nervous." I admit, and he pulls his head away, standing up and cupping my cheeks.
"I said that just so you can stop talking bad about yourself. I won't actually do it." He kisses my forehead. "I still want you to keep the sweater, so do whatever you want with it. It's yours now."
"Okay." I pout, then the sound of a door opening travels through the house.
"I'm home!"
"Welcome home!" I call back, grabbing Tsukishima's hand and leading him down the stairs.
"Do you need help bringing things in?" Tsukishima asks and my mother shoots him a thankful look.
"Yes, please. I'd love that." She says, and we both slip on our shoes before going out.
"Oh, Tsukishima-Kun, you have a brother?" I ask as we both grab the last of the bags. He shoots me a quizzical look before slowly nodding.
"Yeah...how did you know?"
"I seen him at the game the other day. He was cheering for you the entire time. It was really cute. He was freaking out and super excited when you blocked Ushijima Wakatoshi." I smile up at him and he rolls his eyes.
"He's so embarrassing." He mutters, and we slip our shoes off before bringing the groceries to the table.
"Thank you!" My mother cheerfully clasps her hands. "I'll put them away, you two go sit in the living room. I'll bring a snack."
"Thank you." Tsukishima bows and we both go sit on the couch, putting a bit of distance between us since my mom is home.
"It's not embarrassing at all. To be honest, a lot of people were cheering for you like that. Some people were referring to you as 'the savior of the game' at times. I heard someone say you're very reliable as well." I reach over and nudge his shoulder, chuckling.
"It was one block." He mumbles, though I see the tips of his ears turn red.
"Tsukishima-Kun." I turn towards him, taking both his hands in mine. "It was a lot more than just one block. And I think you know that too. I cried when you celebrated, I've never seen you like that before. It made me really happy to see that you were enjoying yourself. I'm so proud of you, you know that? Despite what you say, I think volleyball is more than just a club."
He looks like he's daydreaming for a moment, like he's replaying something in his head. A small smile comes over his lips before turning to me and giving a small chuckle.
"Yeah, I finally had my moment. Now I'm really starting to have fun."