I don't know why, but personally I find this look the most attractive...
Normally I loved his silver hair from superhuman era the most, but as soon as I saw this video I stopped breathing😵
"Sunghee" Donghyuck mumbled once more, his eyes still locked onto mine while his lightly curled, brown hair shined almost in an amber color due to the warm light.
I didn't move a single muscle, taken aback by the sudden encounter with the guy I had tried to avoid at all cost.
"It's actually you..." he continued talking, standing several meters away from me, his voice even softer than the last time I had talked to him on the phone.
How come he changed every time I met him?
He wasn't the same ignorant and self-centered idiot I had met a few months ago.
"I wasn't quite sure because of your white hair, but I would recognize you even with a different hair color."
As soon as he finished his sentence, a fake laugh left my lips as I thought back to the first time we had acutally met.
'How ironic' I thought to myself, still glancing in his direction without saying a word.
I noticed his eyebrows raise as he tried to get a better look at my face, not that I should be surprised though.
My expression was rather emotionless, the last bit of energy almost drained from my body while my eyes were red and my cheeks slightly swolen.
Even from meters away, you could see that I had cried not long ago.
"Are you alrigh-"
"What are you doing here?" I interrupted him monotonously, slightly mad that I crossed his path once more after telling him to leave me alone.
It probably was just a coinsidence, but I somehow felt like letting out the sadness and frustration that lingered in me. Donghyuck was just the first person I saw and I guess I couldn't get a hold of my swiftly changing mood swings.
SVT and NCT were the reasons why I was here in the first place and those thoughts slowly overwhelmed me.
"I... uhm, it's a long story" the brunette answered hesitating, scratching the back of his head in the meantime.
Before I could calm myself down, my hands already turned into fists, my heart starting to beat the same way it would in the past, the simple presence of the older student bothering me.
I knew that I wasn't mad at him.
I was rather angry at myself for not being able to get what I actually wanted, but I guess I just let it out the wrong way.
"Is it?" I suddenly hissed at him, eyes narrowing as I observed him.
"Or were you following me?"
Bewildered by my sudden accusation, he raised his hands in defense, slightly tilting his head to the side.
"Whoa, what? I wasn't following you."
"So you just randomly happen to meet me here?" I sarcastically laughing at his comment and rolled my eyes, my breathing getting faster along with my heartbeat.
"Of all the places and times you could have met me, it's the cemetery?"
I didn't notice how I had gotten louder as I was only focusing on the NCT member in front of me.
Raising my voice at him felt wrong, but I was too hurt to actually care anymore. I didn't want to talk to him, not today.
"I didn't follow you", the brunette tried to convince me, secretly wishing to go back in time and prevent our relationship from going the wrong way.
"The last time I talked to you, you seemed really upset so I wanted to give you some space."
"Yeah right, like you even know what the word space means. You've been downright glued to me for the past few months even though I hated you."
Taken aback by my sudden confrontation, his mouth fell open, not exactly sure what to say.
Frustrated with the entire situation, he ran his hands through his fluffy hair and sighed out loud.
In moments like these I wished I had the power to read minds, eager to know what was going on in his head right now.
Without having that ability though, I could tell that he was getting worked up as well, trying to understand me without succeeding.
"I- Why are you so mad all of a sudden? Everything was fine the last few days."
I sharply inhaled at his question, my mind automatically wanderin back to the kiss we had shared the other night.
If the girls had accepted Taeyong's offer, would Donghyuck and I be a couple?
Would I be happy or at least... happier? Hundreds of questions wandered through my mind, but there was no answer to any of them.
There was just the present and considering the fact that I just visited a grave, I could say that my head was a complete mess.
"Maybe..." I mumbled hesitantly, choking on my own words as I looked in his concerned eyes. "Maybe I realized you are the same person after all."
I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a single word, but I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. I knew that he was different compared to the image he had the first time I saw him.
He was caring, protective, always ready to sacrifice his life for his loved ones, but at the same time, his and SVT's gang had caused so many deaths and problems within the city, where was the last puzzle piece to make me trust him?
I was about to leave when I noticed the shocked expression on his face, my heart immediately shattering as I saw bit his lip in sorrow.
The sigh alone was enough to make tears form in my eyes all over again, making me wonder how much a person could actually cry.
The sun still settled while its golden rays fell perfectly onto the brunettes profile. Although he was glancing down for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next, his eyes lit up in the most beautiful way that even the pink sky couldn't compete with.
His brown curly hair bounced slightly up and down as the mild breeze danced around him, causing the wind chimes to keep playing the angelic melody.
"I like you", it unconciously left my lips, too quietly for him to actually understand.
The lump in my throat only got bigger as I watched his gaze wander back up, the tears in my eyes now clearly visible while I pressed my mouth into a thin line.
"What did you say?" the older asked confused, only having heard a small whisper instead of actual words.
Pressing my fingernails deep into the palm of my hands, I did my best to keep myself from breaking down right here and now. Ignoring the aching of my entire body, I took a sharp breath in and started to walk around him, wanting to leave this hell of a place as fast as possible.
I didn't answer or repeated myself and solely looked at the ground, a small tear rolling down my cheek as I stepped right passed him.
I could feel my heart guiding me in his direction, but instead of stopping, I suddenly felt a grip around my wrist, causing me to turn on my own heels.
"I'm not letting you go like that" he turned me towards him with his hand still holding my wrist.
He probably noticed that I was crying by the light shaking of my body and my head hanging low, changing his voice into a soft and comforting tone.
"If you really thought about me this way, you wouldn't be acting like this.
You're hiding something from me."
I could see his other hand moving from underneath, wanting to wipe away the tears that were dripping off my face, but before he could do so, I already slapped his hand away while freeing myself from the grip around my arm.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed at him with a croaking voice, trying to turn around again, but the brunette was faster.
This time both his hands reached for my wrists, pulling them up towards him so that I was now clearly facing the boy who was trying to keep us both together.
His mouth fell slightly open when he saw my now tear streaked face, several strands of white hair sticking to my wet and puffy cheeks.
Immediatly looking away again, I started pulling on my arms, hoping I could somehow get away from him.
The older student was clearly stonger though, especially considering the weak state of mine, making it almost impossible to fight back.
"Sunghee, look at me", he grumbled, trying to keep his cool as he saw me fight so desperately.
"No! Leave me alone!"
I didn't listen to him and kept hiding my face.
The rest of my body was already trembling and standing in front of him like that made me feel weaker than I had ever been.
"Seriously, just stop fighting me already and listen."
"Let go of me you -"
Before I was able to throw an insult at his head, Donghyuck finally had enough, gripping my wrists even harder and strongly shaking me one time to make me come back to my senses.
"Fucking listen to me!" he growled angrily, his voice so loud and raspy that anyone walking outside the park could've easily heard it.
My eyes automatically widened in shock as they were locked onto his enraged face, my body still shaking miserably as the tears kept running an running.
No words could describe the way his features softened again, after seeing my heartbroken apperance.
As if my glistening eyes were able to show the burden I had been carrying around all this time, his shoulders sank a little, feeling bad for having yelled at me only seconds ago.
I was already too invested into the situation though, gradually losing myself in the heat of the moment.
"Why?!" I screamed and sobbed at the same time, not caring anymore whether he saw the countless salty tears drip on the ground. "So you can tell me that everything is going to be better? That you understand me, even though no one can?!"
With his gaze still on me, the grip slowly loosened, causing me to hastily free my wrists from him. This time I didn't run away anymore, facing him after he had pushed me right to the edge of self-control.
Furiously stepping towards him, I pushed against his chest with all my strength, watching him stumble back in surprise.
"Why can't you just accept the fact, that I don't want to see you?"
My body was trembling almost uncontrollably, but it wasn't enough to prevent my outburst.
Instead, I took another step forward, only to push him again just the way I did before.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" I pushed him once more, a few hiccups now leaving my shuddering lips.
"Why do you always have to show up and drag me deeper into shit?"
Hitting his chest over and over again, Donghyuck never opened his mouth to complain.
Rather than trying to calm me down, he allowed me to let out all my anger on him, stumbling and stumbling back as I continued yelling and sobbing bitterly.
He knew that I had gone through a lot and despite him seeing the bad side of me, he looked at me with loving eyes.
How could he like me that much, when I was literally pushing him away all the time? The sight was enough for me to stop breathing, my heart feeling as if it was going to jump out of my chest any moment
"Why", I suddenly sounded a lot quieter and hurt, my voice cracking while I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
He expected me to push him once again, but I couldn't anymore.
It was all to much for me and before he could prepare for another hit, I looked up into his beautiful brown eyes as I quivered with grief.
"Why did your fucking gang shit have to kill my mother?"
As if he had been struck by lightning, the older student immediately paralized on the spot, finally realizing why I had hated him from the beginning.
His arms fell down next to his body while he looked at the pain written all over my face, wishing that he hadn't just heard these words leave my mouth.
But he did and now that I had finally opened up, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore.
"She- She died the day your gang and SVT caused an explosion at our school", it barely came out, my heavy breathing being interrupted by the continuing sorrowful hiccups.
The fingers holding onto his collar only clenched for them more, desperately holding onto him before I couldn't look up anymore and burried my face in his shoulders.
Whimpering, I tried to swallow despite the lump in my throat, my shaking limbs contrasting his almost frozen body.
"She was everything I had. The only person in this world who truly understood me." Leaning even deeper into him, I felt my chest rise and fall restlessly against his, somehow able to hear his racing heartbeat that comforted me a little.
"Why-", my voice cracked one last time. "Why did you have to take her away from me?"
Not able to say another word, I held onto him, bawling my eyes out as I was trying to shut myself up. I didn't want to look so vulnerable in front of him, but after telling him everything, there was no way I couldn't let it all out.
It didn't take long before the brunette finally broke out if his paralysis, wrapping his arms around my shivering body and pulling me closer into him.
His warmth was slowly but surely calming me while he placed his chin at the top of my head, silently caressing my back by leaving small delicate patterns.
I continued crying into his shoulder while he waited patiently, noticing that after a while my breathing was getting more regular and my body restful.
Even after I stopped sobbing, the brunette still held onto me tightly, making it seem as if he was scared I could leave him any moment. With his next words, I understood why.
"It's my fault", Donghyuck inhaled deeply, already regretting that he had started the sentence.
"The explosion... I caused it."
Okayyy
I think this chapter was actually okay
But I dunno... I'm somehow really anxious about the next two chapters...
It's a lot of dialogue/ monologue and I'm not that good at writing sth like that
Anyways, I'm already happy that you made it this far so thank you all so much for supporting this book🥺💚