Barty Crouch Jr. was more slender than Rowan would have imagined. He had longish brown hair and a stubble filled face. It was almost as if he hadn't slept in days. Severus, who had now allowed Narcissa to hold Lucius down, was staring into Barty's soul. Rowan had since been moved into the living room, under the watch of Bellatrix Lestrange.
"What do you need?" Bellatrix asked in a hissing tone. It didn't sound like she meant any malice by the question. If anything, she almost sounded concerned. "I'm fine, thank you," Rowan said, not even daring to meet the woman's eyes. "I'm not an idiot, child. I can tell when something is wrong," Bellatrix said as she rolled her eyes. Rowan, who decided she couldn't tell her the truth, knew she needed to tell her something.
"It's my past, that's all. Why would you care, anyway? We aren't exactly on the same side here," Rowan said, shivering at the memories that dared to come to the front of her mind. Surprising Rowan, Bellatrix picked up a blanket from a small trunk in the Malfoy's living room and placed it around Rowan's shoulders. "I am not- I am not on anyone's side. Not anymore," Bellatrix admitted, taking a seat beside Rowan.
Wrapping the blanket more tightly around her, Rowan tilted her head at the woman. The things Rowan had heard about her were vile and grotesque, but this was not how Rowan would describe the woman. Bellatrix was a beautiful woman on the surface, although her hair was a bit wild. She wore a long, black dress that clung to her thin frame perfectly. Vile was not how Rowan would describe Bellatrix Lestrange at all.
When Rowan didn't respond, Bellatrix sighed and continued to speak. "I wasn't always like this. I'd like to think I wouldn't be like this had it not been for my family. I wasn't as brave as Andromeda, I married a pure-blood I had no interest in. Rodolphus Lestrange is a menace and I haven't spoken to him in years," Bellatrix seemed to soften for only a moment before she stiffened back up, the shrillness returning to her voice.
"I loved someone else, you know. Someone incapable of loving anyone or rather, anything, other than power. The dark lord is now dead and I am stuck wishing I had met him as Tom Riddle," Bellatrix finished, twirling her wand in her left hand. A small portion of the scar that had been left behind by the dark mark peeked out below her sleeve.
"Why didn't you marry someone you loved? Before Rodolphus, I mean," Rowan asked, her voice sounding as small as she herself had ever heard it. The memories of her drunken father were still on top of her mind. Bellatrix laughed quietly, shaking her head. "I'm a daughter of the Black family. Ever heard of Andromeda Black? She's Narcissa and I's sister and she married a muggle. My family wouldn't let her within one kilometer of us," Bellatrix said sadly and Rowan could tell she missed her sister deeply.
"I'm sorry that happened to you. Andromeda was brave," Rowan said, but she immediately wished she hadn't. Bellatrix's face seemed confused, almost as if it had been feeling far too many emotions. "Don't pity me, girl. I married who I had to and that's my life. Spent fourteen years in Azkaban for it," Bellatrix said, scooting away from Rowan.
"I didn't mean it like that, I swear. I should be in Azkaban for what I did, and I don't want to be pitied over it either," Rowan admitted, looking down to the floor before her. Bellatrix tilted her head, leaning in toward Rowan. Bellatrix didn't know much about comforting, so she only did what she knew she personally would want. Hesitantly, Belatrix placed a bony hand on Rowan's knee. "You don't belong in Azkaban," Bellatrix offered awkwardly, shifting in annoyance.
"I do, Bellatrix. I killed my father two years ago and- and I'll never forgive myself," Rowan said shakily, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Bellatrix almost seemed amused at the new information. "I've never killed anyone, not yet at least. I tortured the Longbottom's for the dark lord. What'd your father do to you, anyway?" Bellatrix asked with a small nod, suddenly interested in the girl that sat before her. "He was fine until three years ago. He started to get drunk and beat my mom; she refused to use magic on him. He tried to actually hurt her once and I..." Rowan trailed off, not daring to speak any more than she already had.
"Far as I'm concerned, you did the world a favor by killing him. My father was a lot of things, but he never hit my mother. Not even under the imperius curse," Bellatrix said, pulling her hand away from Rowan. The girl's cheeks had their color returned and somewhere deep down, Bellatrix was glad.
"Release him from the curse, you moronic man!" Rowan heard Severus scream from the kitchen, followed by a loud shriek and a groan from Barty Crouch Jr. Bellatrix giggled softly before standing up. "Many say Azkaban drove me mad. Have you heard that?" She asked, turning to face Rowan. Rowan only shook her head, she truly hadn't heard much of anything about Bellatrix Lestrange other than what was in the papers and a few whispers around Hogwarts.
"I'm surprised. Of course, I know it's not true. I did what I did to the Longbottom's because I wanted to, not because the dark lord told me to. I wanted to prove myself to others that I was special. The one who would do anything," Bellatrix said as she slowly reached over and closed the door to the kitchen. She quickly turned back to Rowan and smiled with her partially rotten teeth.
"I hear you are Professor Snape's assistant, yes?" Bellatrix said stiffly. She hadn't ever been one to care for anyone, especially a half-blood. However, something about Rowan reminded Bellatrix of a younger version of herself. Bellatrix had actually taken a liking to the girl. "I suppose," Rowan said with a small nod, reaching up and gripping the gem around her neck. "Severus had on a similar necklace to that today. He's never been one for jewelry," Bellatrix said, suspicion building in her voice.
Rowan smiled and nodded her head slightly, not wanting to out Severus amongst his friends; if she could even call Bellatrix that. "Severus and I have never been close. In school, I would say we were even rivals," Bellatrix started, reaching out her hand and picking up the necklace gently to examine it. "There were many reasons, his loyalty was one of them. He was loyal to a Gryffindor and I could swear to you he's more of a Hufflepuff rather than a Slytherin," She finished, letting go of the necklace as she read emerald duo on its back.
"Really? I guess things change. I would never put him in Hufflepuff," Rowan said with a small laugh, remembering when he would smack unsuspecting students on the back of the head in class. He hadn't done much of that since Rowan became his assistant. "I suppose they do change. Severus seems to care for you very much," Bellatrix said, rolling her eyes slightly.
"I guess he does, yeah," Rowan said simply, standing up from the couch and leaning against the arm. She still felt light-headed from her experience in the kitchen. "I may seem like a horrible person, Rowan. However, I have told you things that I wouldn't dare tell anyone else. The very least you could do is tell the truth," Bellatrix said hatefully, placing her wand down on the table.
"Nobody said you had to tell me anything. You didn't even have to watch me because I don't need to be babysat. I'm not a child," Rowan snapped, causing the woman's eyes to glare at her. "I told you because I see myself in you. Myself before Azkaban and the death eaters. I see promise in you and if you don't like my kindness, I will surely never show you any again," Bellatrix spat, slamming herself down on the Malfoy's large couch.
"Please, no more! Please!" Rowan heard a shriek from the kitchen and she closed her eyes tightly. She didn't wish to know what was going on in that kitchen, as she knew it was Severus who was causing that man pain. "I'm sorry," Rowan said, taking a seat beside Bellatrix who grunted in response.
"Truly, I am. I don't know much about you, Bellatrix. I know only what you've told me and what I've caught in the hallways at Hogwarts. I haven't been shown much kindness in my life and I sometimes don't know how to react to it. If you would find it in yourself to forgive me, tell me more about what it was like growing up," Rowan said, offering the blanket over to Bellatrix.
The woman scowled for a moment before taking it and placing it over both of their laps. She nodded at Rowan and her face softened. "Andromeda and Cissy always fought," She began with a small smile. Bellatrix hadn't remembered a time where anyone had cared enough to ask her about such things. She hadn't remembered a time she had actually smiled since Azkaban. Yet, here she was. Telling a girl who knew of her past and didn't judge her everything she had wanted to tell a friend. Not that Rowan was one, not yet. For now, she was a willing listener. One Bellatrix had waited her whole life to meet.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
"Take this man to a spare room and snap his wand. I will be sending an owl to the minister to have him taken care of in the morning," Lucius boomed as he threw a beaten and bruised Barty Crouch Jr. to the ground with a loud thud. Severus stood disheveled and bloody behind him. Narcissa clung tightly to her husband's arm, looking satisfied to have her husband back.
"What did I tell you, Rowan? She truly loves that man," Bellatrix mumbled, quickly standing up and with the help of a house-elf, dragged Barty Crouch Jr. up the stairs. Rowan smiled and stood up, bowing her head down as she met the real Lucius for the first time.
"Who is this?" Lucius asked, turning to look between Severus and Narcissa. Severus took a deep breath and went over to Rowan's side. "I'm Professor Snape's assistant," Rowan said, holding out her hand to shake his. Hesitantly, Lucius shook her hand with a small nod. "Very well, I suppose you helped conclude that I was cursed. Thank you," He said, not waiting for Rowan to respond. "Where is my son? Draco?" Lucius called out, ascending the stairs rather quickly. Narcissa smiled adoringly at her husband.
"He's a good father- or he tries to be. Thank you again for saving him. A house-elf will see you out," She said simply, quickly chasing after her husband. Before she was at the top of the stairs, she turned around one last time. "Severus, I expect to see you at Lucius and I's anniversary ball in February," Narcissa said before disappearing down a long hallway.
Rowan turned to Severus and he almost collapsed into her arms. "Rowan," He whispered, holding her in a bone-crushing embrace. Rowan smiled contently as she held Severus tightly. She was scared someone would see them, and they would find out. She knew that she didn't care right now, she only cared that Severus was okay. "Severus," She whispered back, placing a small kiss on his shoulder.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
Rowan felt the air whip around her and when she had opened her eyes, they were back standing in her bedroom at the Zabini Manor. "Come," Rowan said, carefully taking Severus' bloodied hand in hers and leading him into the bathroom. He stayed silent, scared of what she was thinking. He didn't have the energy to try and read her mind.
Rowan picked up a rag and placed it under warm water, returning to Severus as quickly as she could. "What are you-" He tried but Rowan held her finger against his lips. "Let me," She ordered and he stayed silent against his pride.
Carefully, Rowan took each of his knuckles and cleaned them. Severus winced in pain as the water washed over his open wounds. "A part of me was shown today and that's something I never wanted you to see," He said, his face stone cold. Rowan only nodded, allowing him to continue. "I didn't even notice you on the floor until it was too late. Then, I left you with that wretched woman,"
"Bellatrix isn't wretched, Severus. I liked her," Rowan said with a small smile, kissing Severus' now cleaned knuckle softly. "I'm not good for you," Severus said, his face was emotionless. Though, the trembling in his hands told another story.
Rowan continued to his other hand, not saying a word. She didn't know what she could say to make this man feel better. "You should leave me, Miss Knight. It would be selfish of me to keep you knowing I can't protect you as you need me to," Severus' eyes had begun to water as he pulled his hand away from the woman he loved. He had let her down, just as he had everyone in his life.
"Shut up," Rowan said softly, taking his hand back into hers as she continued to clean the blood off of him. "Excuse me?" Severus said, the offense of her words shown very prominently in his tone. "Shut up, Severus. You aren't yourself right now," She replied, this time with more confidence. She walked over to the sink and began to wash the rag, red water dripping down into the sink's drain.
"Am I missing something here? I just told you to break up with me and you told me to shut up?" Severus stayed sitting down but his body wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug. She was fighting for him to stay; nobody had ever done that for him.
Rowan slammed the rag down, turning the sink off. "Yes, Severus. I told you to shut up, okay? You feel that you let me down, well, welcome to the club. I live every single day knowing I will never be able to compete with Lily Evans and yet here I am, cleaning the blood off of you," Rowan began, turning around to meet Severus' eyes. He looked close to tears, and Rowan couldn't tell if it was because she was yelling, or because she wasn't Lily Evans.
"What happened tonight, was simply my past catching up with me. You did what you were supposed to and was I mad that you didn't comfort me? Yes, but goddammit Severus, I have fallen in love with you. When you love someone, you don't leave," Rowan said, angrily grabbing the now semi-clean rag and returning to Severus' side, tending to a wound on his leg.
Severus stayed quiet as he watched Rowan tenderly wipe away his own blood from a deep gash in his leg. Her body looked angry but the way she treated him showed none of this. "Potter," Severus mumbled quietly, causing Rowan to look up at him.
"What?" She asked in disbelief. Here she was, tending for his wounds and he couldn't stop thinking of Lily. "Potter. Her name was Lily Potter and you say you live every day in her shadow. I loved Lily, it's true," Severus trailed off, memories of his childhood coming to the front of his mind. Rowan exhaled loudly, placing the rag down on the ground. She moved further away from Severus, her worst fears coming true. Severus' eyes stayed glued to where she had stood before.
"Thank you, Severus. It's great to know that," Rowan spat sarcastically, a tight ball forming in her chest. Severus' eyes snapped up to her as he shook his head frantically. "No, you misunderstand. I loved her, but you do not live in her shadow. She lives in yours, Rowan. I look at you in class and think to myself what would have happened had I gotten with Lily instead. In every circumstance, I am unhappy," Severus said, standing up and slowly stalking over to Rowan, placing a strong hand on the side of her jaw.
"Severus, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep playing hot and cold, dodging conversations about her. Staying quiet when you bully her son," Rowan shook her head, pulling away from Severus' touch. She watched as a single tear fell down the man's cheek, and Rowan could swear she heard her own heart snap in two. They stayed quiet for a moment, neither daring to move.
"You say you have fallen for me," Severus began, wiping away the tears from his own face. Rowan only nodded, her brow furrowing in grief. "If you mean it, don't leave me," Severus said, choking back a sob. He was tired of playing the mean guy, especially around her. "What?" Rowan replied, placing one of her hands against Severus' chest.
"Stay, please," Severus pleaded, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "Okay," Rowan nodded, pulling her lover into a tight grip. "You will stay?" Severus sobbed, the years of abandonment finally catching up with him. He didn't dare to let go. Rowan grabbed him and held him closer, before uttering a single word.
"Always,"