Panting and feeling undeniably hot I softly pulled away from her, even though I didn't really want to. She looked down at me, still sitting on my lap and her fingers entangled in my hair. I could tell that this was an outcome we both hadn't really expected or planned.
"Thi-"
"Shoul-" We interrupted each other by trying to speak at the same time. A hearty laugh left her lips and I was thankful that she was able to lighten up this slightly awkward situation before I was able to start feeling shy. Her hands left my hair to move down to rest on my shoulders and her giggle slowly died down while her eyes never left mine. I realized that my own hands were still resting on the sides of her waist and I was about to retreat them when she stopped my movement by wrapping her fingers around my wrists.
"Why are you pulling away?" A slight pout made itself noticeable on her face even though I knew that she was doing it on purpose.
"I don't know... I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable I guess.." My eyes left hers to look down at my shirt just to avoid me blushing.
"Hey, look at me." Her soft voice made me listen to her and I lifted my head to meet her gaze again. "You never make me feel uncomfortable. I want this and if I were to feel weird, you know I would tell you." I just nodded at her statement and relief washed over me, knowing that she was ok with this. Smiling at me and placing her hands on the back of my head once again, she leaned in even closer than we already were. I lifted my hand to fish out one of the pieces of popcorn that got stuck I her long hair and pulled it out.
This time, I was the one who made the first step and I placed my thin lips on her plump ones. Whenever I was this close to her, I was able to smell the faintest scent of coconut which drove me insane. Somehow it was intriguing, just like her whole being was. Our lips were moving in a steady rhythm with our eyes tightly closed shut and our hands all over the place. The tight contact in between our bodies made it difficult for me to hold back and not carry her to the bedroom straight away.
My mind was flooded with images of me and her that night and paired with the feeling of her small hands on my body it wouldn't take long for me to lose control completely. I left her soft lips to move down lower and place tender kisses on the side of her neck. Pushing some of her hair out of the way, I placed one hand on the back of her head to support it. Shortly pulling away to be able to look at her, I saw her with shut eyes and her soft lips lightly open, apparently cherishing the feeling I was giving her.
Before I was able to make her feel better, she opened her eyes and this time, she moved down to place her juicy lips on the side of my neck instead. Leaning to the side I gave her more access and even though the pleasure was unbearable, I never stopped moving my hands along her waist and her back, even resting on her butt sometimes. Despite the overwhelming pleasure I opened my eyes and pulled back softly once again, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
Truth is, maybe I was feeling a little uncomfortable.. I didn't know what it was. I knew that whatever she had going on with other guys was none of my business but I couldn't help and wonder if I was someone she saw like that as well. Was I something temporary to her? Were the other guys even something temporary? Who said that she didn't grew infatuated with one of the guys?
"What is it?" Her rosy cheeks and innocent eyes made it hard for me to completely focus on the situation. I gently shook my head and sincerely looked into her eyes.
"It's nothing... I just..." Giving me an understanding look she actually encouraged me to go on – I knew that she would never judge me. "I just can't help but wonder about what this is what we have going on... I'm not trying to offend you, it's just..."
"Hey, I know. It's ok.." An assuring smile from the girl I adored made me feel safe instantly. She retreated from her initial position and settled onto the couch right next to me, her legs still resting over mine. My fingers started to fiddle with the fabric of her jeans she was still wearing from her day at school. "I thought about this as well... I'm going to be really honest with you about this because I trust you... I really, really like – no, even love spending time with you, Jungkook. I don't know how or why, all I know is that with you I always feel safe and comfy – I can't even describe it..."
Hearing those words from her felt so unreal. It was exactly what I wanted to tell her but instead, she told me. I felt myself smile unconsciously at her words, realizing that I should probably give her an answer after she just got so vulnerable with me.
"That's the exact same for me. I love spending time with you, it's crazy how many hours of the day I want to be with you.." Should I confess my feelings towards her? Were her words a way of telling me that she liked me? No.. I shouldn't jump to conclusions here.. She was just saying how she liked spending time with me, nothing more... Right?
"Jungkook I-... I want to tell you something..." Her eyes were avoiding mine at any cost, she was obviously nervous. Her teeth chewed on her lower lip, fingers clutching at the fabric of her shirt. Was she about to confess to me? This was my chance of saying it before she did.... Should I...? Fuck it, what did I have to lose anyway?
"Actually, if you don't mind.. I want to tell you something as well..."
Your POV
My heart clenched at this sudden turn of events. I was really ready to finally talk to him about my family and he interrupted me in the midst of it... But honestly, the way he was smiling nervously and cutely, I knew I could wait and I couldn't even be mad at him.
"Y/n... I don't know how to tell you this but...." His short pause gave me time to grab his hands with mine as I could see how he was trying to keep his fingers occupied. What was he so nervous about? "Uhm... so we've known each other for some time now and I thought about how I really like spending time with you.. I think I like you, Y/n.. More than just a best friend or neighbor..."
His fingers stopped fiddling in anticipation of my reaction. This was not at all what I was expecting. Sure, I had some suspicions because of Yoongi and I really thought about this possibility but I didn't think it would become reality so soon.
"Uhm..." I couldn't find the words to express what I wanted to say. I knew that I felt something more for him as well but it wasn't easy... "Jungkook first of all, I really appreciate you being this honest with me and trusting me with this..." I looked for his eyes but they seemed to avoid me. Had I disappointed him with my answer?
"I was looking for the words to express my feelings but I don't know how... so I'm just going to start, even if it doesn't make sense.." I received a short nod and a faint smile, sadness evident in his eyes. "Jungkook, I like you too. I've thought about this and I really think that I feel more for you as well..." A glint of hope was now laced in his expression as he connected our eyes again.
"But I'm going to tell you now that I'm not sure if I'm ready.. to get into a relationship.. or for whatever people tend to do when they like each other..." I realized that I was holding my breath when I stared at his eyes in hopes of finding something I could hold on to. He gave me a smile and a light nod, reassuring me and gesturing for me to continue.
"I'm working on myself a lot and have been for the past few months... I.. I wasn't in a happy place for a really long time and it takes time for me to heal... I'm not in the place where I can give myself to another person fully yet, even if I wanted to. The things I'm working on.. it takes time for me to think, talk and cope with it and as long as I'm not in a safe place with my mind, I don't want to pull you into this. I know you would support me and I appreciate it but this is something that I have to deal with myself."
After letting everything go I held in previously, I really felt like crying. I didn't want to disappoint him but I needed to be honest with him. I tried to give him a smile but it was hard – to my surprise he didn't say anything but just engulfed me in a big, tight hug. This was exactly what I needed. I let myself go completely and shifted my weight to meet his body, resting my head on his shoulder and my face in the crook of his neck. It didn't feel awkward at all. It felt like coming home after a long, stressful day at work.
He felt like home.
I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my hot cheeks, finally feeling like some of the pressure that was building up inside of me was set free. Jungkook must've heard my sniffles as he pulled back and held me by my arms to be able to read my expression.
"Hey.. you don't need to cry.. it's all good, you don't need to be sad..." His thumb came up to wipe away a big tear and stroke my hair behind my ear but soon he pulled me back into the same comforting hug.
"I didn't want to disappoint you...." I barely whispered the words, thinking that he wouldn't hear them. After some time he pulled back again and made my head rest on his shoulder while we just stared out into the room.
"Y/n, you didn't disappoint me. It is enough for me to know that you feel the same way. Your health and wellbeing are what's most important right now – I can put the speed of this all on hold. You need to focus on yourself right now and not worry about me."
His words made me want to cry even more. How could he be so sweet? Not feeling like I had to hold back or keep to myself, I just let the tears roll down. We kept sitting in silence for what felt like eternity, hands intertwined and heads resting against each other.
---
"I should probably get going... Thank you for this afternoon, it really meant a lot to me." Starting to move my limbs after hours to get up was more difficult than I thought it would be. His slender fingers encircling my wrist kept me from moving too far away from him. I looked at my wrist first and then met his questioning gaze.
"Y/n... before you go I'd like to clear something up..." I sat back down halfway and changed the position of our hands so that they were intertwined again. Lightly nodding at him I gave him the signal he was looking for.
"I-I don't want to put pressure on you, that's the last thing I want to do. But I'm wondering about how long this is going to take? This.. I really want to wait for you to be ready but the time..." A silent chuckle left my mouth at his adorable behavior. I could feel how he was trying to be respectful of my decisions but I could understand that he wanted to have some explanations as well.
"Jungkook, don't worry about that, please. I can't put a timestamp to it, really. I don't know how long this will take." He smiled at me, trying his best to look all calmed down. I smiled at him sincerely. "I want you to know that I want this. I know it is too much of me to ask you this and demand this of you but..."
"I'll wait until you're ready." I didn't need to say anything, he just took the words right of my mouth. "You're worth waiting for, I'm sure of it."
Tears started brimming from my eyes again, this whole conversation making me overly emotional. It wasn't easy to deal with emotional stuff, especially when someone else you cared about was also involved. I quickly used the edge of my sleeve to wipe away the tears and dry my face.
"Jungkook, this doesn't mean that we can't hang out anymore, right?" He lightly chuckled at my question and shook his head, relieving me.
"As if! You won't get rid of me that quickly!" His laugh turned into a whole-hearted one now and caused me to burst out as well. Just for a short moment he seemed to lose himself in my eyes as his laughter slowly died down and his expression turned back to a more serious one.
"Would it help... I mean, would it help you if we did things that people do who just get to know each other? We could meet for dinner at restaurants or meet at the park for walks and coffee... I suppose you could call it a.. date..?" His brows furrowed in confusion about the things he just said. I knew that he didn't want to make me feel pressured and this was the cause for his hesitance.
"I mean, I just thought of this and don't know if-"
"I'd very much like that." Softly smiling at him I hoped to be reassuring him enough. "I really like this idea, that way we can get to know each other more and there's no pressure on either of us." A wide smile covered his face as he heard my words and he soon stood up.
"Exactly!" I stood up to meet him and this time I wrapped my arms around his frame for a much needed hug. I could never get enough of those.
Once at the door, I stood in the hallway and thanked him again for cheering me up and also being honest with me. His hand moved up to his neck to scratch himself as he looked at me with hesitant eyes.
"If you don't mind.. I'd like to start with our... dates?.. soon.." Still very unsure of this particular word I reassured him by placing a kiss on his cheek.
"Jungkook, you don't need to be that careful around me, you know? I'm still the same Y/n you knew before, now we just know each other's feelings too. I can handle you." I proudly raised a brow, partially in hopes of lightening the situation. It worked as he laughed and pinched me in the cheek.
"When I get attached to you real bad, I'll ask you that again – if you can handle me." I smiled and nodded with a giggle.
"Sure.." Before turning around to leave him, I jumped towards him and just hugged him again. He was able to bring me comfort that I haven't known in what felt like years.
"Thank you."
"Thank you as well." I carefully and slowly walked backwards, never wanting to leave this man's eyes. He watched my every movement and when my back unfortunately came in contact with my own door I just stopped for a moment and admired him. He lazily lifted his hand to just wave goodbye and when his door finally closed and left me standing in the hallway by myself, I knew it.
I think I was starting to fall in love.