"Good morning, mi hermosa flor. Did you sleep well?"
I rolled my eyes already before I opened them, not really interested in starting yet another day together with the ultimate lover boy, Don Juan. I knew his seductive ways with words and behavior were supposed to be an overwhelming turn on for most women, but to me it was the cause to morning sickness all friggin day. Without even being pregnant! And since I despised this personality so much, there was no risk of getting pregnant either, as long as he was around.
"Great, actually. Until I started dreaming about fishing."
"Fishing? Now that can be bastante romantico, mi conejito."
I raised an eyebrow, turned around to face him and gave him an unimpressed glare.
"Really, Donnie? You couldn't come up with something better than bunny?"
"But bunnies are cute and soft, and a descripción perfecta to compliment a mature woman's delicate flower."
"So you're basically calling my pussy old, is that so?"
Don Juan's eyes widened in horror.
"¡No, hermosa! I would never say that. What I meant was..."
My brain shut down like it always did when he started his heart throbbing love philosophy. But my dream about going fishing didn't quite let go. How strange.
Maybe you should have a lil fun with him, Gail? It's about time you teach him a couple of things about raw, filthy sex, and not that lovey dovey crap he keeps spewing out all the time. You can just gag him, and... Wait. The thing you have in the bottom drawer!
"Hey, Donnie? Wanna go fishing today? I feel like catching something big."
Oh, it's big alright. And since it's been three whole weeks without Mr. Jackson...
"Get up!" I commanded the second I jumped out of bed myself. Then I hurried over to the dresser, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out an unopened plastic bag.
"Not quite what I had in mind when we bought it, but whatever," I mumbled to myself. Then I turned back to Don Juan.
"You're still not up, yet?"
Instead of waiting for him to respond, I scurried into the kitchen to find a pair of scissors. Then I cut a tiny hole in the middle of the costume I'd picked out.
That's not large enough, Gail. You should know that. At least your pussy knows. Damn right, she does!
I smirked to myself, cut a bigger hole and hurried back to the bedroom, where Donnie was about to put on his clothes.
"Stop that."
"But you told me to..."
"...get out of bed, yes. Not to get dressed," I abrupted, a bit exasperated.
"As the matter of fact, you can undress."
"You want me to wear less than a t-shirt and briefs?" he questioned, but I just grinned devilishly.
"That's the whole point, dummy. We're going fishing..."
I threw the costume I was holding at him, and made sure he knew I wanted him to hurry up.
"...and you're the fish."
"Me?" he exclaimed wide-eyed. Then he held up the colorful piece of fabric so he could study it.
"A fishtail?"
"Not a fish. A mermaid, and look, I cut out a hole for you. So you better make sure you put it on the right way."
"A hole?"
"For your dick, dumbass! Today we're going fishing, you're the catch and I'm gonna teach you a couple of things about how to fuck."
The last part I said up close to his face to make sure he got how serious I was.
"And if you don't obey, I'm gonna put a gag on you that's drenched in chloroform, before I tie you up."
Donnie's jaw dropped through the floor.
"Go on. Strip down, put on the costume, and in the mean time I'll fill up the bathtub. Capisce?"
"But..."
"Nuh-uh. Gag, remember? Or maybe I'll include that anyway? Just for fun of course, nothing else."
Remember the rope, Gail. You're definitely tying up the sexy piece of meat that's your husband. And if you're lucky, you might learn to love this part of him too. Keyword; might.
Minutes after, the tub was half full with steaming hot water, scented with lovely citrus. Everything was perfectly set for a morning that was a little unusual compared to others. I was happy as a clam on high tide, but my lovely partner wasn't. And when I peeked out from the bathroom to check on him, his face read everything else but joy. He was sour as a fiddle.
"Awe. Cheer up, Donnie. I promise you'll feel better in a while."
"But it's a fish tail, princesa."
"Mermaid. Not fish," I corrected.
"Besides, I'm not a princess. I'm a queen."
At least according to Michaela you are, Gail. But so is she, so you're kind of competing with your own man about that title. Yeah... Pretty awkward. But while we're speaking of Michaela...
"It's the right colors for you, and sparkling just enough to spice up the day."
"But you can see these sequins from the moon! It looks like a rainbow threw up on me," Donnie muttered, but I just rolled my eyes.
"You were the one who bought it. You just don't remember."
I grabbed his hand and made him stand up. Then I cocked my head and squinted a little.
"Perfect, except for this."
I put my fingers into the hole I'd cut out, and pulled out his dick. And I was actually close to laughing at how comical he looked. A tall, slender man with messy bed hair half undone from its hair tie, a tight mermaid costume, which included nipple clamps that looked like oyster shells that bit down on his tiny nipples, a limp penis hanging out in the front, and the grumpiest face known to mankind.
"Michaela would be so proud of you."
"Who?"
"No one. Anyway, are you coming?"
He tried his best, but walking wasn't very fish-like and really hard to do without losing balance and fall. So he lifted up his tail as far as possible, and jumped after me into the bathroom.
"Climb in," I said and pointed at the bathtub. And when he hesitated, I grabbed the rope I'd placed on the closed toilet seat.
"Don't ruin this now, flower boy. Today it's goodbye to the romance overkill. Today you, the world's greatest lover, will finally learn how to fuck."
"I would never disrespect a woman like that. I have, and always will, treat her like the most glorious and perfect creation God..."
"GET IN!" I yelled, and he jumped in sudden shock. And that was all it took to knock him out of balance, which caused him to fall head first into the water.
"Don't drown yet, fish stick," I grumbled, and helped him resurface. At least long enough to breathe a few times. And since he was fully focused on clearing his airways for soap water...
Tie him up, Gail!
So I did.
"What are you doing?" he asked, with a frown and his thick Spanish accent more distinct than ever.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
I rolled my eyes and made him sit on his knees in the water, with his arms stretched forward and fixated to the faucet.
"There," I exclaimed when I was done. Then I smacked his sequined ass and snickered when I heard him groan.
"Ready for your first lesson?"
Don Juan gulped.
"How can you give and receive great love when you're tied up like this?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised," I retorted. Then I climbed into the tub with him, still in my underwear. And to surprise him, I reached around his waist, grabbed his length and started stroking him.
He groaned.
"Feels good, doesn't it?" I purred into his ear, feeling how I turned myself on by having such power over him. He got turned on too, whether he liked it or not, but then he started talking.
"As my position as first lover, my duty and passion would be to make love to you until milk leaks from you as though you've just given birth to love itself, and now must feed it or burst."
"Shut up, Donnie."
"But how can I drink from your nectar so I can make you believe that you can be satisfied only by consuming the tongue that devours you? In this position I'm not able to make your precious love cave shudder and explode with the intensity that brings you to a weeping release."
"Last chance," I growled into his ear, then squeezed his dick and stroked him harder. But of course, the man wouldn't shut up.
"I can barely let my voice caress your ear cha..."
And that was all he managed to say before I flipped him over and pushed his face under water just long enough to shock him back to reality.
"I warned you," I grumbled, surprised by how helpless he was with the tail surrounding his legs. Then I felt a little bad when he coughed and sputtered, until he finally was able to speak again. Except, he didn't. Not at first, at least. He just pulled helplessly at the hand tie while he blinked water out of his eyes.
"I told you that we're done with that crap, so shut up and enjoy. I've caught my prey, and now it's time for some fun."
"It's not right for compare the act of love with the way you chase an animal on its way down death row. Devouring a lady's most intimate and precious rose, makes you sated in a completely different way than..."
And he was under water again.
I pulled him back up after a couple of seconds, and straddled him. Thanks to my hand tirelessly caressing his thick shaft, he was hard as a rock now, and I was aching to feel him inside me. If he could just stop with the constant nonsense, that would be great. But as soon as he stopped coughing, he was right back at it.
"I swear to God, Donnie! I'll choke you if you don't shut up!"
He just scowled at me, before his eyes rolled back when I started grinding a little, putting pressure directly on his erection.
"You like this, don't you?"
"I'd rather be the one to perform the art of the sexual act, but... Ah. This is good, too."
I smirked when he started listening to me. Maybe he finally became receptive to what I was trying to teach him?
"See? It's not bad to enjoy sex the unpolished, dirty way too. And believe me, we've just started."
He moaned when I grabbed his dick and used it to massage my clit while he watched. His cheeks turned red as a freshly spanked ass, and his eyes studied me as I used him to selfishly satisfy myself.
"Your cock is so hard," I said with a low and seductive voice directly into his ear.
"And I want to tease you until all you can think of is to pin me to the wall and ravish me."
Just like Mr. Jackson does.
"No roses and shimmering hearts. Just simply... Fuck."
Before he was aware of what I did, I removed my panties just enough so he could slip in. Then I started riding him while I reached around his shoulders. But since the oyster shells poked my breasts, I ripped them off him and threw them somewhere else. He groaned in pain.
"That wasn't very lady like," he whined.
"Not trying to be, either. I just want to cum and that distracted me from it."
Donnie blushed and looked away. But soon after, his eyes leaped back to study the look of bliss in my face. Just the thought of him being so helpless and out of his comfort zone, both physically and mentally, was enough to drive me ploot bananas. And listening to the clucking of the water, and the splatter when some of it hit the floor, was so arousing I could cry.
"Goddamn, your cock feels good," I moaned and let my head fall back, exposing my neck.
"I would have fulfilled needs you didn't even know you have, if you'd just let me treat you like the true goddess you are, hermosa," he breathed and made a second attempt to break free.
"You already are, so if you just shut up so I can cum, that'd be nice."
But did he? Nope.
You need to gag him, Gail. Or... Heeey, that was actually not a bad idea.
I got up from his lap and immediately missed the feeling of having my walls stretched out just enough to give me both immense pleasure and pain.
"Lean your head back, fuck boy."
"I'm not...!"
But he didn't come any further because I literally sat on his face and grinded against his mouth.
"Best way to gag idiots," I moaned, before I inhaled through my teeth.
"That's some good fish right... Theeeere."
I used my hand to increase the bliss he performed on my lady parts, and felt the first weak contraction tense up my body, before I got swept away with a scream. Then I sunk down on his lap.
"Fuck! That felt good," I panted. Then I let out a squeak of euphoria and a moan, when Don Juan rolled his hips to ease some of his own pent up tension.
"Oh, so you wanna cum too?"
He nodded coyly.
"Watching my beautiful rose bloom in front of me li..."
His words literally drowned in the water when I pushed him under for another couple of seconds. And as soon after he inhaled air like he had been strangled for years. It was just the shock, though.
"Wrong answer, flower face. Say it."
"Say what?"
I smirked down at him and coiled my arms around his shoulders and neck, then I erased the gap between us until our foreheads touched and our noses flirted. I teased him with all that I was, using both my eyes, my voice and my lips to drive him mad. But I refused to kiss him. We were just ridiculously close several times, leaving him heated and panting for more.
"Say you want me to fuck you. Let me hear your filthy mouth."
"But I'm the first lover, and... Ahh!"
I distracted him by fisting his dick roughly, and the surprise made him groan and twitch underneath me.
"Wrong again. Last chance."
I knew he was about to break now. I could see it in his eyes.
Or maybe it's Mr. Jackson that's coming back to smother you with his ferocious hip thrusts? Oh, yes... That'd be great, thank you. No, not now! You need to teach Donnie the pleasure of a short, but intense fuck. Yeah, but...
"I wanna make fuck with you," he mumbled after a while, his voice strained and gruff. I couldn't help but to laugh.
"Not bad for a first attempt. But you gotta try a little better, and I might do what you want."
"I... Wanna fuck you," he moaned when I continued to ride him without letting him penetrate me.
"Better. You wanna fuck my pussy?"
"Yes," he panted, sounding more and more desperate by the second.
"Say it, Donnie. Say you wanna smother my pussy."
"Please, let me cum," he begged, his eyes glazed over with arousal.
"As much as I love to hear you beg, I need you to say the magical words."
"Por favor, mi Alma."
"Say it!"
"Fuck me before I tear myself loose and do it myself!" he growled.
"Good boy," I cooed. Then I untied his arms, while I kissed him fervently and sucked on his bottom lip just to push him a bit further. And as soon as he noticed that he was free, he pushed me off him and got up.
Holy shamancies, that was hot!
How can a man dressed in a fish tail be hot? Not a clue. But to see this man tear himself free from his wet, sparkling prison made me shudder with anticipation and desire. And driven by primal instincts, I leaned forward, arched my back and twerked just enough to make him lose focus on anything else.
Maybe you can learn to like this version of Don Juan?
I let out a moan so loud that it sounded like a scream, when he rammed inside me with no mercy.
MOTHEROFLORDANDFUCKINGALMIGHTYMOTHERFUCKERRRRR....! You definitely like the updated hardware of Donnie, Gail.
"You want it rough, and I'm gonna give it rough, my precious flower. Because Don Juan is the greatest lover world has ever seen, and knows how to pleasure his woman."
"About time," I panted, rising towards my peak like a rocket shooting for the moon. Whether it was the physical pleasure from his pounding manhood, or it was his words and change of demeanor, should be left unspoken. It was insanely good either way. And I came crashing down on him like an earthquake, ripping the air out of his lungs as he filled me up with his glorious love juice. Don Juan's love juice.
Slowly touching ground after such a ride, the only thing in my mind was:
Don Juan - Check.
Applehead...
Now, where the hell can you get a 'How-to-deal-with-a-three-year-old-grown-man' for idiots'?