"Who are you talking to?"
"Sunghee, why?"
It didn't need a clairvoyant to know, that the older shoudn't have answered the question. Despite my initial plan of hanging up quickly though, I couldn't bring myself to do so.
Every single one of my nerves was completely frozen while nervousness and longing wandered from head to toe.
"Give me your phone."
There it was. The sentence I had expected and slightly feared at the same time. Did I really want to talk to him?
"What? Go call her yourself! We're having a-"
"Just give me that damn phone."
"Stop it you- ah, hey!"
Several muffling noises were heard, along with a few dull knocks and beatings, making it sound as if they were fighting over the Renjun's phone.
I couldn't tell by the voices, whom of them was winning, but it didn't matter anyways. I already made a mistake calling in the first place.
A few more loud breaths and growls were heard, until a door finally fell shut, locking one of the two away from the other.
I noticed how my own heart was now dangerously beating against my cest as if it was trying to break the ribcage that held it hidden and away from what it desired. There was only one person able to make my body feel this way and I was certain, that he was holding the phone in this very moment
"Sunshine, is that you?" Donghyuck's concerened and soft voice sounded, still a bit out of breath because of his little fight with Renjun.
Sunshine. It's been a while and even though our lives were pretty much a roler coaster with busy shedules, he never forgot the nickname he gave me in the first week.
It had always been normal for me to hear him say it, never even realizing, that I loved the way it left his rosy lips.
"It is, right?" he continued talking, my silence only worrying him more.
"What happened? I thought everything was going well between us, but then you started ignoring me again."
"I-" not knowing how to answer his question, I interrupted myself and bit my lip. I lowered my phone a bit and started staring at the red button to end the call.
I told myself to not talk to him and only call Renjun, why was it so hard to simply hang up?
"Just tell me you're fine." Donghyuck's soft and calming voice sounded once again, making me take a deep breath as I felt the countless butterflies in me.
I wasn't able to stay quiet any longer, hesitantly answering while he patiently waited.
"I am..."
Not a second later I heard him sigh in relief, glad that he finally heard me say at least two words after leavig him on read since yesterday.
Maybe he was a bit too relieved, because he started to talk more energetically and happy than before.
"Are you sure? Because if you need anything, I will make sure I get it. I don't care about Taeyong's curfew. You just have to let me know."
Another silence settled between us, though my own heartbeat seemed to break it. I remembered the moment before this call. After staying in bed all day long I had gone to the bathroom, doing my business and fixing my appearance.
On my way back I had crossed Yeeun, the guild automatically rising in me all over again.
That guilt still lingered within me, causing me to act without thinking twice and chose the life I've known instead the life that I wanted.
"I need you to-" I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes, still playing with the hem of my shirt while my feet tapped continously against my matress " to leave me alone... Please stop messaging me."
These words were enough to make my heart shatter into a thousand pieces, warm tears gradually forming in my eyes as my hand holding the phone started to shake a little.
That was the boy I loved- The one I had fought so hard against at first and tried to keep him and his gang away from me as far as possible, but ironically fell for even harder than for anyone before.
"I don't want to see any of you again."
It was now the older brunette who stayed silent, not sure what to do next.
I once again thought about ending the call, but Donghyuck was fast enough to gain his composure back, suddenly a bit angered about my words.
After the time we had spent together, we really had gotten closer to one another and especially after our kiss, it felt as if we were starting back at the beginning.
"What are you talking about?" he got a bit louder, not understanding how I changed my mind that quickly. "What is the problem all of a sudden? "
"You are!" I yelled at him without realizing. I hadn't expected to raise my voice at him like that, but it just left my lips.
Not because I was mad at him. I was mad at the fact I was ignoring my own feelings, scared to stand my own ground.
Without being able to stop it, several tears started rolling down my cheeks, dropping down on my lap while I didn't feel the need to wipe them away.
"You are part of NCT, we can't be friends!"
"I don't want to be your friend!" he quickly shouted back at me, the hurt tone in his voice clearly noticeable, causing my heart to ache even more.
"I like you, Sunghee!"
My shoulders automatically tensed up while I tried to surpress a bitter whipper, instead listening how he exhaled deeply in order to calm himself down.
"I don't care how many times I have to say it, I like you. I really do... and I know you like me too. Why can't you just give us a chance?"
"Because-" my voice suddenly cracked and I hated the thought that he was right. I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself anymore though and started yelling out loud what had been on my mind lately.
"People are dead because of SVT and NCT! My entire gang hates you and your members from the bottom of their heart and I don't even know if I can fully trust you! How on earth can I give us a chance?"
I could tell that he was trying to comprehend my rant just now, hoping that he could calm me down and talk things through with me.
I knew that I was weak for him though and couldn't risk talking to him any longer.
"Please let me-"
Before he was able to finish his sentence I had already hung up and threw the phone aside, bursting into bitter sobs right after while burrying my face in my hands.
Why couldn't I have met him like a normal teenager?
Walking around town, accidentally bumping into him and maybe even spill a drink on him?
It was clichéd, yes, but I would've preferred it that way.
If SVT and NCT hadn't caused the accident back then, would it now change anything for me?
Would I choose Donghyuck, if I knew that NCT hadn't caused the accident, despite him being a gang member?
Maybe, maybe not.
I wished there was one last reason that would push me to trust Donghyuck completely, but as much as I wanted to, there wasn't.
I had done the right thing, but why did it feel so wrong?
Okay okay, first of all I'm sorry for that sad shit lmao butt
I'm really excited for the next chapters🤧
Kinda worried too, but I hope you will like my ideas
Anyways, that's the last chapter for today😊
Take care my lovely readers!!!!💚💚💚