(Slight trigger warning for violence..)
***
My life, pretty much sucks since day one.
My family, which is just me and my parents now that my older sister left with her boyfriend when she was sixteen and the oldest of the family, my brother moved out once he hit eighteen, which I still to this day think he's in jail. But that's besides the point, since I'm the youngest I have seemed to get the short end of the stick.
Yes I am a little mad at my siblings for leaving me behind with my parents who I ever so hate. Well I don't hate them I just dislike the way they treat each other. Like for example, I dislike my dad for beating and yelling at my mom. I then dislike my mom for allowing my dad to beat and yell at her. See the point?
Anyways my parents and I live in this little run down two bedroom house down in a bad neighborhood on the outskirts of the city. The water half works, and it would be a miracle when the electricity was on. I got so used to sleeping past the yelling from my parents and the police sirens in the background. I know the policemen so well here now due to the human trafficking, drugs, and even my parents.
One time when I was little my dad was out of town on a "business trip" or so we thought and my mom thought it was okay to bring one of her boyfriends over, not to mention he was high on drugs and alcohol. Before he had got there my mom threatened me, my sister and brother to go hide in our room.
"Sungmin, Minsoo, Chungho you stay in you room till he leaves, Do you understand?" My mom said. We all nodded.
"No matter what you hear do not come out. Lock the door tight." My mom demanded.
"Chungho, protect your sisters." Chungho bit his lips and replied, "You have my word." There was a loud knock on the door followed by yelling. I could never forget the look of terror on my mother's face. She quickly gave us a hug and pushed us in our room. She took her cellphone out of her pocket and handed it to Chungho.
"I love you." Her eyes teared up and she shut the door. Chungho locked the door and demanded us to stay quiet.
"If you say even one word, were all dead." Chungho snapped. Obviously he knows the drill of what's about to happen.
There were loud bangs that sounded like kitchen plates hitting the ground. Me and my sister fliched to every crash. We could hear a loud man's voice yelling and throwing objects across the room. Probably at our mother. Hours of this went by until all three of us were alarmed when the house went silence.
"Chungho, what's happening." Minsoo asked, tears running down her face. Chungho listened for a moment and then replied, "Get in the closet now." His sharp voice cut through. My sister and I didn't answer, but quickly went into the closet. Chungho closed the closet door and held a strong grip on the door knob because there was no lock on it. Me and Minsoo sat down and hugged each other tight. Chunho put his ear to the door and began to hear footsteps getting closer and closer to our room.
I let out a cry and my brother rushed down to cover my mouth.
"Don't make a sound." But it was already too late. We were discovered. The man yelled and banged on our room door. My sister and brother and I held our breath with our heart up to our throats. We heard a body slam on the door and it flew opened.
"You little bastards, come out wherever you are." The man yelled. I shut my eyes closed and held tight my sister. My brother was preparing to face the worse. The man slug the closet door open, who seemed to much strong than my brother.
The man grabbed my brother by the collar and threw him across the room and hit the wall. The man then grabbed my sister and pulled her out of my arms.
"No!" I screamed. "Shut up stupid little girl." He took his foot and kicked me hard in the face. I laid there helplessly as I watched my sister get pulled to the ground, she was kicking and screaming and him while he was hitting her in the face. He took his pants off, and sat on top of her, ripping her shirt off. On the other hand, my brother was knocked out, his body lying limply on the floor, against the wall.
I thought this was it. That we were all going to die. My mind went to my mom, who could be dead in the other room and now it was my sister, then my brother, and soon me. I looked faintly over to the guy who was raping my sister till she was unconscious. Once he was pleased, he looked over at me. He smiled real wide, the smile that still haunts me.
He got off my sister and walked over to me.
"Your turn honey." I could smell the liquor in his breath.
At this point I was ready to die, ready to escape this hell. He dragged me out and began to do the same thing he did to my sister. I was 10 when I was raped.
When he started, there was a loud bang like a gun going off. Long and behold, my dad appeared with a shotgun in his hand in the doorway of our room.
"Get the hell out of my house." My dad snarled and then charged at the man, hitting him in the face with the butt of the shot gun. My dad dropped the gun and wrapped his hands around the man's neck, choking him. I look over to see my brother, just now gaining his conscience back and his eyes got wide. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the cellphone our mom gave him. He dialed 911.
The police came minutes later along with an ambulance. The police broke up the fight with the drunken man and my dad. Nurses went over and took me and my siblings over to the ambulance outside. Chunghoo, Minsoo, and I climbed into the back of the ambulance where our mom was lying on the bed, unconscious, with a mask on her face, IV's out her arms, and bruises, and blood all over her. Chunghoo wrapped both his arms around me and Minsoo.
"I'm sorry." We all shedded tears till we reached the hospital.
The doctor checked us out, including my dad, leaving my mom for the surgery room.
"Let's go." My dad grabbed me and my sister arm's tight, leaving a bruise.
'But, mom..." Minsoo whined.
"Shut up Minsoo. Were going home." Minsoo bit her lip and didn't say anything else.
When we reached home, the house was a mess. Minsoo and I ran to our room. We could hear Chungoo screaming at my dad for what happened. Usually dad would never hit us, but he seemed to have hit Chungoo when he came back to our room with a bruise just below his cheek bone. Me and Minsoo said nothing and just began to clean up the mess in the room.
I don't know what's worse, home or school. I never wanted to go. I used to scream and cry until my dad threatened to beat me. That's when I realized that I had no choice, but to go to school. On the other hand Minsoo was the popular one. She basically lied her way through and never mentioned that I was ever her sister. My brother, Chungoo on the other hand, worked three jobs and was the captain of the football team. He wanted to stay away from home as much as possible. I won't blame him either. As for me, I was bullied by this one group of girls through my school life. But don't worry, I learned to put up with it. Well until I met Rachel.
Rachel transferred to our school when I was in eighth grade. She seemed perky, quiet pretty with her hair that fell slightly just above her shoulders and her smile that captured everyone's attention. Honestly I thought I would hate her, untill the day I finally met her at lunch.
"Watch where you're going loser." One of the girls snapped from the group as I fell from her trip. My tray with food on it spilled all over the cafeteria floor. I gritted my teeth to keep my mind from saying something.
"Look at her, I think she's going to cry." One of the other girls spat. They all laughed. This made me even madder. I can't go to the office again from another fight. If I did, those girls would bat they're pretty little eyes and get away with it. I stood up slowly with my hands in a fist to my sides.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault." I said through my gritted teeth.
"That's right you should be apologizing." One of the girls smirked. That's it. I took my hands and pushed the girl.
"How dare you! You little piece of crap." She yelled, and then called her boyfriend, I assumed, over here. She whined about me bumping into her and that my food could of ruined her expensive outfit, and pushing her. Her boyfriend took her by the arm and pulled her off, with her friends following behind. I steamed down a bit and then heard a voice behind me.
"Excuse me, but are you okay?" I prepared myself and turned to see the new student Rachel standing in behind of me. I slowly nodded.
I realized she was in all of my classes and that she lived near me, but in the much nicer part of course.
"You can come over to my house anytime you want too." She said after I told her my small bits of pieces about my family history of violence.
"Thanks." I said. She just simply smiled, showing her cute dimples.
That's where it all began. I felt, like everyone else did with her deceiving smile. Ever since then she has been my best friend and about the only person I have left now that I truly care about.
*****
Math class on the first day of school is the worst. The only good thing I enjoyed about school was getting away from home, where hell was.
"I can't believe we're Juniors now." Rachel sat at the desk next to me. I sigh and agreed.
"You okay? Is home getting rough again." Rachel asked. She seems to be always concerned. I let out a small laugh. "When is it never rough?"
"True." she said and then thought of something. "Hey, you can come over today if you want." She added. I let out a breath. "I can't today, my dad is pretty hard on my mom when I left this morning. I should probably stay home to keep an eye on things." Rachel patted me on the back.
Students began to come in, usually I don't pay attention, but someone caught my eye. He walked in, his blonde hair swept over his forehead, just above his eyebrow and wearing his nicely pressed clothes. He was tall and well built. He walked over and sat at a desk, two rows away in front of me.
In the past I never drooled over a guy before, never even thought about it, but he just seemed to catch my eye. Don't get me wrong though, I have been asked out by some guys in the past. I just rejected them because I don't want them to get involved with my crappy life and even face my dad. It took years for me to open up to Rachel about me bring her home to my, what I used to have called, family. Now it's just me and my parents.
"Hey Rachel. Sungmin." A group of girls came by and said. I recognized them from middle school when they bullied me. I slightly smiled as Rachel made small talk with them.
The teacher walked in by now and told everyone to sit down. All the students sat down and the teacher began class. As the teacher taught, my eyes were back on the guy who seems to be very interested in learning. I couldn't help, but stare. Rachel looked over and followed what my eyes were on. When she figured out who I was staring at, her eyes got wide.
"Why are you looking at Namjoon." Rachel whispered. Oh so that's what his name is.
"I wasn't, I just happened to daydream and my eyes just happened to be there." I lied. Rachel still didn't seem to be convinced. I rolled my eyes.
"Do you want to meet him?" Rachel added.
"What?" I said, loudly. Rachel looked away and I seemed to have captured everyone's attention, including the teacher and Namjoon.
I met eye contact with Namjoon and he ever so small, smiled and turn back around. I feel like dying now. I sunk in my chair out of embarrassment as my face turned red. Why am I like this all of a sudden?
Rachel giggles and whispers. "That's what I thought."
The teacher goes on back to his teaching and everyone takes their eyes off of me.
Hours later, Rachel and me walked down the hallway for lunch.
"Follow me." She took my wrist and lead me down the hall, but not to the lunch room, only stopping by a group of guys, one of them was Namjoon.
My heart stopped and my face began to get heated when I looked up to see him. We made eye contact and he smiled gently, showing his dimples.
"Rachel!" Some of the guys called out in excitement. They all chatted and laughed, just me standing behind Rachel bashfully awkward. Rachel finally remembers I am with her and she makes room so I can join the group.
"Guys this is Sungmin, my best friend." I put my head down to hide my blushing and smile. All the guys, smiled and laughed, going on with conversation about me.
"Look at her, she's so cute. Isn't she?" One of the guys said. Wait hold up, I'm cute? In all my life, I never even thought about me being cute or even beautiful. All I saw was a girl who came from a broken down family that shouldn't deserve to even live.
I lifted my head, raising my eyebrow. But all the guys did was just carry on and agreed, even Namjoon. My heart raced a little. The guys then said goodbye, some following to get lunch, others to their next class, only leaving me, Rachel and Namjoon standing there.
Rachel smiled and grabbed me by the shoulders to push me closer to Namjoon.
"Sungmin has been dying to meet you, Namjoon." Rachel said cheerfully.
"No I haven't!" I said. I looked at Namjoon on accident to see him letting out a small laugh.
"Nice to meet you, Sungmin." Namjoon greeted warmly. I looked back at Rachel and she just simply smiled. I rolled my eyes. I guess I do that more than I should. I then look back to Namjoon who was still ever so smiling, killing my insides with his dimples.
"Hi..." I choked out.