I'm so sorry I forgot to post yesterday I got distracted but here is the next part, merry Christmas everyone 🎄
Life just isn't fair. Why do I always have to get attached to someone who doesn't give me the same back. I have been talking to Alex every day for the last week and a half and my feelings for him have only gotten worse. The best part of my day is seeing his face whether its through FaceTime or when watching his stream and whenever he says anything remotely nice to me I blush like an idiot. That would be fine if he just gave me something in return, sure he starts the conversations sometimes and he's the one suggests we stream together but it doesn't seem like he is attached as I am even in the slightest. He will give me the odd compliment when I post a picture on Instagram or when I have a cute outfit on.
For the last few days I have been trying to distance myself a little bit so the feelings will go away. By distancing myself I don't mean completely ignoring him because I still want to stay friends but I'm trying to not always reply to him straight away and sometimes say no if he wants to FaceTime because I'm 'busy'. But it hurts. It hurts knowing that I have to keep away the person who is making me the happiest.
Alex's POV
I fucked it up again. Y/n has been being a bit more distant with me the past few days and I know its just all my fault. I don't know what I did but I must have done something to upset her or maybe she moved on. I've been trying to flirt with her a tiny bit to see if she will pick up on the hints that I have feelings for her which she must have noticed and is now not wanting to make me feel bad that she doesn't feel the same.
It's the worst feeling knowing that I'm the one thats messed up the great friendship we had going. Alex why do you do this every time? You didn't even think to ask if she had a boyfriend before flirting with her what if she has a boyfriend or girlfriend and thats why she is being more distant. I bet she does have a partner how could she not she's just so pretty and kind any person would be lucky to have her.
I decided to stream to take my mind of y/n but it didn't help at all because all chat wanted was for me to call her. It made me happy that they liked her so much but at the same time it hurt just thinking about her. I did message her on discord to see if she was able to FaceTime later which she actually said yes to which improved my mood for the rest of the stream. I plan to ask her if she's single while we FaceTime which may sound a little bold but I'm hoping I can play it off because I just need to know if thats why she's been distant with me.
Your POV
I was lying on my bed feeling sorry for myself when I got a discord message from Alex asking of we could FaceTime tonight. I know I should have said I was busy but I was desperate to talk to him so I said yes. Forget this whole distancing thing I'm going to talk to the person who makes me the happiest. As much as it was going to kill me having these feelings that I had to keep to myself at least I had him in my life.
I was going to make myself actually look good for our FaceTime but I remembered him telling me that he liked me better without makeup one time so I decided to not do anything to my face or hair but I did change out of the hoodie I was wearing and put a t-shirt on over my shorts.
He was streaming but as soon as he stopped my phone went off with the FaceTime call. I answered right away and the screen filled with Alex's happy face. Seeing his smile instantly lifted my mood which it has a habit of doing. We started talking and things went right back to how they were a few days ago it was like nothing had ever happened. We talked for a while before Alex asked me a question I was not prepared for him to ask me.
"Are you single?" He asked
"Oh wow um yeah I am. Are you?" I replied
I tried to make it less awkward by asking him the same question but it probably didn't come out quite right because I was so shocked that he asked in the first place. I guess it answered some of my questions but it is making me more confused at the same time.
"Yeah I'm single" he replied
We swiftly moved on and started talking about other things, eventually we did get back onto the topic of dating but this time it was slightly less awkward. We told our worst date stories and both complained about how long we have been single. I saw a whole new side to Alex, before he seemed like someone who was more focussed in his career than anything else but hearing him open up a bit more had made me realise that he is actually a really loving person and he just wants someone to love him. I loved that he had a softer side which his viewers didn't know about.
After our FaceTime ended I laid in bed thinking about life and asking myself why Alex wanted to know if I was single. Did he have feelings for me too or was he just asking out of curiosity? I sure hope it was the former but then again why would he like me. Why do feeling have to be so difficult to work out.
Authors note- it's happening guys. What do you think about this part? If you liked it please vote on it it really helps me out. Love you all