Part 43- why

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My phone was blowing up super early this morning which concerned me as that doesn't normally happen unless something is going on. I wanted to ignore it because I just wanted to sleep but soon Alex's phone started doing the same which woke him up and we both kind of decided that we really had to see what was happening. 

Looking at my phone was the worst decision ever because it was all filled with texts and calls from friends telling us that we needed to look at Twitter as well as a few tweets from friends backing us up. I opened Twitter and went to my mentions because I thought that would be the best place to find out what is happening which was true but it was not what I wanted to see. Multiple people had managed to edit that clip from yesterday's stream to make it better quality and you can properly see the two of us kissing. 

How do people do this? Even I couldn't edit something that well and that's part of my job. It makes me so mad that people feel the need to get involved in my personal life to such an extent and can't just leave it be at what we said yesterday. I looked at the picture for so long just realising that everything was exposed and it made me want to cry. I then made the mistake of looking at the comments and other tweets about it and believe it or not there was quite a bit of hate from the people that are fans of Alex and don't like me and then the people mad at me for lying in my tweet last night. 

"What do we do?" I asked 

"I don't know I've never had anything like this happen to me before" Alex replied 

"Do we have to say anything or can we just let people forgets about it" I said 

"I'm going to be honest I'm not sure people will ever stop asking if we don't say something" he said 

As much as I knew he was probably right I just wanted to never admit to anything and just leave it be so that I can ignore that fact that my relationship is now public even though it's only been official for what like 2 days. Why? Just why? This is not something that I ever wanted to have to deal with and it's not like we were never going to announce it we just wanted more time to get used to it first, I always thought that I would be the one to announce it like on my own terms but I guess not. 

By this point I was wide awake and was definitely not going to get any more sleep and neither was Alex so we got up and ready to go for a walk to hopefully clear our minds a little. Wilbur was already awake and had breakfast for us which I would have felt bad leaving so we had some breakfast with him first. 

"I saw all the stuff going down on Twitter are you guys doing alright?" Wilbur asked 

"I'm gonna be honest not doing great this situation is very stressful" I admitted 

"Yeah really not enjoying social media right now" Alex added

"I'm sorry you guys it's not your fault though it's just some stupid people that feel the need to pry into your personal business" Wilbur said 

While we were talking I had a sudden thought about George after he felt so bad yesterday I can only imagine that he feels awful right now even though it isn't his fault. I decided to text him to make sure that he knows that we don't blame him in any way but he still text back apologising profusely which I was not about to accept, I eventually got through to him and made him feel less bad about it even though he still offered to do anything he could for us to make it better. While I was on my phone I also answered texts from a bunch of other friends who were texting me this morning to thank them for letting me know. 

After breakfast me and Alex left Wilbur to go out on that walk we wanted to go on, we got outside and then realised that it was actually kind of a bad idea because what if we see fans and they take more pictures of us out together to fuel the 'rumours' even more. At this point it isn't just rumours people just seem to believe that we're dating. Despite this Alex grabbed onto my hand and held it as we walked round some of the back streets of Brighton where there is less people, it felt like Alex was holding on tighter than he normally would probably because he was feeling more protective. 

One thing that the both of us noticed when looking through social media was that most of the hate was directed towards me even though the both of us have a platform and a different audience because of our different vibes, not that I want Alex to get hate but it would be nice to not be the only one receiving all these mean messages when the both of us are involved. Alex has tried to tell me thats its nothing to do with me and its just the way the fans would act to anyone but there is still part of me that feels like the people just don't like the fact that it is me. 

We went out for about an hour before heading back to deal with things now that we had gotten over the initial rush of emotions and can look at things with a clearer mind. The two of us sat down together to think of the best way to go around this, we wanted to address things without making a big deal out of it so we decided just to send out a tweet and leave it at that not addressing anything more until we are ready. This worked out the best for us too seeing as we weren't home to stream and it will probably be the most genuine this way. We also decided to write separate tweets with our own feelings in it. I wrote my tweet out but it was so long so I decided to write it on twitlonger and screenshot it too for people who can't access the website. 

Y/t/n   Addressing things 

I know most of you will have seen what has been going on but for those who haven't there is a clip from yesterday's stream that people have enhanced to the point that you can see me and Alex kissing. 

I'm very aware that just yesterday we said that this is not what was going on which obviously since has been disproven. I'm very sorry for lying to you all but from my point of view I was trying to keep it under wraps for as long as possible because this is a very new thing for the two of us and we weren't ready to share it in the public yet, I can see why some of you are mad because I try to promote good values but I hope you can understand my side of this. 

To end this off I wanted to say once and for all that yes we were kissing in that clip and yes the two of us are together. We will not be answering anything about it until we are ready to share so if you could please respect that and our privacy that would be greatly appreciated. 

I sent out the tweet after double checking with Alex that what I said was alright and he showed me his which was much different wording to mine but it put out a different point of view of it. 

Quackity     Please read this 

I'm not going to explain the context of this because I don't want it spread even further across the internet but I'm sure most of you will know what I'm talking about. 

To start with I'm going to say that what you are seeing actually did happen and I'm sorry for not admitting to it yesterday when this first came about but at the time we were just trying to keep things to ourselves as it is part of our personal lives that we weren't willing to share yet. 

Now to get onto the main point of all of this from my perspective, I have seen a lot of people hating and sending threats to y/n which is just not something I'm going to accept. Even if the two of us weren't in this situation together there would be no reason for her to receive this hate and it honestly some of the things said disgust me and I'm glad that she hasn't seen some of these things. I'm not going to accept this so to start with I'm going to politely ask you all to stop and if it continues I will be blocking people. 

Remember that I'm in this as much as y/n so if anything both of us deserve this hate not just her so please don't continue to only come at her just because you don't like her because that's really not fair. 

~Q

I really liked Alex's tweet because it meant that we had covered the different aspects of what we were feeling. After just putting out the tweets the response seemed to be pretty good and much more positive than the response to the original clip some friends also replied to either tweet to provide support which was nice of them. I only had to block a few people who were being extremely hateful but other than that it I was feeling a whole lot better than this morning, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. 

From that point Alex made me put my phone down and we didn't look at them for the rest of the night which was probably for the best but I still wanted to see more reactions to make sure that it wasn't just the early people who were being supportive. Turns out it wasn't and most people seemed to understand and were willing to respect our privacy. 

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