***1 month time skip***
"Shouldn't you be studying for your finals? Don't want to fail a subject before summer break." Suna looks up from his pile of school work. You're lying on his bed, legs dangling off the side, swinging back and forth.
You continue to stare at his ceiling, arms sprawled out. "Not really worried about them. More worried about nationals."
"Mmm...your shoulder bothering you again?" Suna brings his attention back to his work, nibbling on the back of his pencil.
Propping yourself on your elbows, you give a quizzical look at him. "What is it with you and my shoulder? Do you have a shoulder kink or something?"
Pushing away from his desk, Suna crosses his room and flops besides you on his bed. Glimpsing down at him, your heart flutters; His eyes are closed, lips slightly parted, hands clasped over his stomach. "No, i've just been noticing your shoulders bothering you." He responds, eyes still closed.
"Whatever," You sigh. The setting sun through Suna's window casts his room in a golden glow, watching a few dust particles fluttering around. "How long have you been studying?"
Suna opens one eye, checking his phone. 6:37. "Five hours."
"Jeeeze," You fall back into the soft duvet, scooting into Suna's arms. "I thought you were just sooo smart, you wouldn't need to study." You tease, tilting your head into his chest.
"You know," Suna's hand tangles up in your hair as he twirls the strands around his fingers. "It's just a 'just in case'..."
A short moment of silence.
"...You got no clue what you're doing, don't you?"
"Yup," He laughs, pulling you closer into his body. "No clue."
Silence.
"I think...i'm going to take a nap." Suna mumbles.
"...okay."
"You gonna head home?"
"...I don't think so."
Getting no response, you tilt your head up to see Suna's face; his eyes are closed again, sleeping peacefully. You shake your head, laughing lightly. "How do you always fall asleep so quick, hmm?"
An hour has passed, and Suna was still sleeping. You never left Suna's grasp, simply enjoying his heartbeat and soft breathing the entire time. The golden glow of sunset had passed a while ago, darkness slowly consuming Suna's room. Your phone propped on Suna's stomach lights up yours and Suna's faces in a fluorescent glow. The light was starting to hurt your eyes, making your temples slightly throb. You try to push yourself off on Suna, wriggling out of his grasp.
Suna shifts over, pulling you back down into his chest. He mumbles something about staying.
"Suna, you gotta keep studying though." You pry his arms off you, sitting up on his bed. "Come on, Rintarou, get up."
Suna stirs at his first name being used, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as you click the lights on. "Can you stay while I study?" He asks, pushing himself up off his bed, feet dragging as he goes to his desk.
"Can't," You peer over his shoulder, taking in all of his work and notes. "I got swim conditioning in thirty minutes."
Suna's brows furrow; You don't know if it's because he doesn't understand his work or because you can't stay. "Damn, this late?"
Patting the top of Suna's head, you sigh, "Yeah, it's the only time Hanako is free plus nationals, but you already knew that. I'm gonna go now. AND. Don't stay up too late, it's not good for you."
"Yeah yeah," Suna waves off your concerns, scribbling something down on his paper. "Don't stress your shoulder too much."
It's now your turn to wave off his concern as you close his bedroom door and walk yourself out of the house.
-♡-
"[Name]," Hanako taps your shoulder. Swim conditioning ended a few minutes ago, and it was your turn to clean the pool deck. "Coach wants to see you in his office." She looks concerned, not making eye contact with you and fiddling with the hem of her swimsuit.
"Oh. Let me grab all the kick boards first, then i'll get chang-"
"No...he wants to see you now. I'll clean the pool deck, don't worry about it."
Hana cutting you off makes you anxious, you chewing on the inside of your cheek. "Am I in trouble?" You ask, handing the kickboards in your arms to Hana.
Hana shakes her head, a small, sad smile on her face. "Quite the opposite, actually."
The swim coach was a scary man; An old man who's been teaching math for years and coaching swim for even longer. Every year, there's been at least one first year to throw up from the sets he assigns and at least two to drop from the club as a whole. This year, there were only three first years, all from recommendations; You, Aiko and Izumi. Speculation is that he plans on retiring soon, but wants to head to nationals as many times before he does so.
Standing in his office, walls and shelves lined with medals and trophies, your heart is running laps, anxiety through the roof. It wasn't particularly cold, but every hair stood in it's end.
"You called for me?" You ask, trying to not let your voice shake.
"I never got to properly congratulate you for placing first in all your events in regionals." He's calm, signing papers as he talks.
You snap your swimsuit strap against your shoulder. "Thank you,"
"You've been practicing very hard, not just now, but since middle school, I hear." The only other sound is his pen scribbling across a notepad. "Not many first years make it to nationals, or place first in every event they participate in."
All you can do it nod.
"I assume you must be very excited to swim at nationals. It's at Tokyo this year." He continues, eyes never leaving his desktop.
Again, all you do is nod in response.
"However," He looks up, putting his pen down and clasping his hands together. "I can not let you swim."
The six words snaps all anxiety from your body, causing you to stiffen up. "What?!"
He sighs. "Your times have not been dropping. Butterfly is your best stroke, yet your form has been getting sloppy. For those reasons, I can't have you swim."
"Wait wait wait!" You wave your hands up, trying to grasp what he just said. "Those are the reasons I can't swim at nationals? I can fix those! I swear! I'll practice more, I'll spend more time on my fly stroke-"
"[Name]," He butts in, rendering you silent. "I know why you haven't been in top form recently. And it's not something you can fix with more practice."
"What? What is it? I'll get it fixed immediately!" You plead desperately, hot tears pricking the corners of your eyes.
"[Name], take a look at your right shoulder, please."
Your eyes are glued to your coach, tears streaming down your face. You don't have to look down to see what he's talking about. It's been red, swollen and throbbing for a couple of day now, the extra conditioning not helping.
Your coach sighs, head resting in his hands. "You are the most talented swimmer i've had the privilege of recruiting, but your health and safety is our first priority. I already contacted your parents about reaching out to a doctor to get it checked up. I'm not allowing you to participate in our practices until I get a note from the doctor. I'm sorry, [Name]."
"Thank you," You muster, through your sniffles and cries. "For looking out for me." At that, you turn and leave his office.
-♡-
The room is dim and silent, the doctor setting up the screen to review the x-rays of your shoulder. Your mother had scheduled a appointment with the doctor as soon as possible, but the quickest time was when she was busy. Because of this, it was the twins who accompanied you to the doctor's office.
The doctor points to the black and white images of your shoulder bone and muscles. "You have a pretty severe torn rotator cuff, leaving it untreated for almost two years."
You bite your lip, to keep from crying.
"It's not severe enough to require surgery," The doctor continues. "However, it will take much longer to heal and you will have to stay out of the pool for a considerable amount of time."
You want to ask how long, but there's a lump in your throat, causing you to let out a small sob instead.
Atsumu rubs small circles on your back as you lightly shake from trying to keep your tears contained.
"How long?" Osamu asks.
The doctor tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and readjusts her glasses. "It will take six months for the tear to heal on its own. Then she needs another six months beyond that to refrain the tear from happening again."
"So she'll be able to swim again in a year?"
Pursing her lips, the doctor replies, "Due to the severity of the tear, she has a very high chance of tearing it again, especially at the level she trains at. The intensive competitive training is a hard strain on her shoulder and I recommend she stops."
Silence. Only the ticking of the clock and the sniffles and tears you're trying to hold back.
"Tsumu," You whisper. "Could you give the note to Coach?"
Atsumu nods, taking the folded slip of paper and slipping it into his jacket pocket.
You stand in your bedroom doorframe for a moment, before closing the door. You slip out of your school uniform, letting it fall to a pile on the floor. You change into more comfortable clothes, then slip under the covers of your bed. There, the tears flow freely, collecting in your lashes, wetting the pillowcase and cheeks. You curl up in the darkness and cry the Friday night away.
How many years have I been swimming? How many plans have I canceled because of practice? How many friends have I lost because I was always at practice? How many muscle cramps have I endured? How much money has been funneled into my equipment and travel? How many tears have I shed because of how hard I trained? How many times have I come home absolutely exhaused?
No no no.
How many friends have I made because of swim? How many hours of just laughter have I had? How many cherished memories? How many new places have I been to? How many new jokes? How many new experiences?
How many, how many, how many.
"[Name]," Osamu knocks on the door. "Dinner."
No response.
"[Name]," It's Atsumu this time. "I bought some pudding...you want some?"
Silence
"[Name], i'm coming in." Your mom states, the door creaking open. "You didn't eat at all yesterday. But luck for you, I always make onigiri on Sundays, so here." You hear her place a plate down on your bedside table, but you stay lying underneath the sheets. There's a sigh before your mom leaves the room and closes the door.
You don't eat any of it.
"[Name]," Osamu. Again. "Aiko and Izumi are here to see you."
"Go away."
"We'll come again tomorrow, after school." Izumi says. Even she sounds down.
Your alarm rings, pulling you from your dreams, signaling you to get ready for school. "Not going," You mumble to nobody, turning the alarm off. You spend the morning instead, staring at the ceiling, memories of past swim meets and practices flooding your brain.
Once you hear the front door close one last time, a sign your dad had finally left for work, you pull the sheets off. Out of instinct, you roll your shoulders. This only causes a searing pain to flare up your right shoulder. You stare down at the red and swollen shoulder, chest tightening with emotions.
Determining a hot shower would feel the best right now, you slip into the bathroom and run the shower. You let the water heat up until the entire bathroom is shrouded in steam. Stepping into the shower, the hot water slightly burns your skin, but soothes your sore shoulder. You let the boiling water run down your body, slowly massaging your floral scented shampoo into your hair. You take your time, letting the minutes go by. Finally done, almost an hour and a half had passed.
Instead of crawling into bed, you push your window open. Pulling yourself up, you sit on the ledge, letting your feet dangle out over the side. As summer pulls close, the air is slightly thick and sticky and the trees are changing from pink petals to deep green leaves.
Tilting your head up, you watch the clouds pass by, allowing the sun to warm your face. You're not sure how much time you passed, sitting there, soaking in the sun, but the silence is broken by the sounds of students walking home.
There's a knock on your bedroom door.
Izumi and Aiko shouldn't be skipping practice for my sake.
"Aiko, Izumi. I already told you to leave me alone." You say, loud enough for them to hear. There's no response, so you continue to bask in the sunlight.
To your surprise, the door creaks open, light footsteps heading towards you.
"Aiko, Izumi, I swear I said leave me alone. You shouldn't be skipping practice." You huff, back still turned to them. You expect Aiko to say something comforting or Izumi to scold you and to stop sulking, but instead a pair of arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back into your room. Stumbling back into their chest, you let out a sigh. "You're not Aiko or Izumi."
"Nope." Suna rests his chin on the top of your head, sitting the both of you down on the floor. "Don't do anything stupid, please."
"I wasn't" You lean back into his chest.
"Good."
He doesn't say anything after that. You sit in between his legs, his arms around your body, both of you sitting in silence watching the clouds pass by.
author's note;
brb crying over my own writing bc i want to cuddle suna >:(