Taehyung cluelessly turns around, hand still holding on to his cup and when he sees the person Namjoon was referring to, his heart just skipped a massive beat. The cup almost slipped of his fingers but thank god his reflex was quick and he caught it with his free hand. He suddenly becomes jumpy, clumsily setting the cup on the table only to spill some of it onto the wooden surface. He looks at Namjoon, eyes filled with thousands of questions.
"Hey, don't look at me. I did not realize she was there, not until I was done with my order. She was here before me"
Taehyung swore with every bit of his existence that his body is acting weird. It suddenly feels like his head just went haywire; everything went blank leaving his head empty but a mess. His heart suddenly beats fast, his skin feels overwhelming tight as the nervousness creeps onto her skin slowly.
"So, you really going to act you feel nothing when you are sitting here, basically having a crisis"
"Shut up", Taehyung sighs under his breath, feeling his entire body going stiff. "Just shut up"
"Who is that guy? A guy from his class?", Namjoon looks extremely amused at the slight panic on his friend's face but decided to tease him further. "Your competition?"
Taehyung glances over his shoulder discreetly, trying to have a better look at the man seated across the table. He had seen this guy before, but he couldn't remember when and where. Turning to the front, he stares at Namjoon while trying to remember where exactly he had seen the same man.
Then it hits him, that's the same man he saw with Haru at the café that one night.
"Oh—that guy", slowly he sinks into the chair, looking very much disappointed. "I better leave before—"
"Same old Kim Taehyung", Namjoon jokes, massaging his chin as he glances at Haru before turning his attention back to Taehyung. "Always running away"
Deciding to ignore the playful look on Namjoon's face, he gets up as quick as he could and to his surprise, Namjoon follows. "You're leaving too?"
"I have an appointment in 20 minutes. Gotta run now"
As the two of them speaks, a figure walks pass their table catching Taehyung's attention. His heart jumped when his eyes met the eyes of the man who was sitting with Haru. His entire body froze when the man looks at him for a few seconds, perhaps wondering he looks surprised seeing him but then he looks away and heads straight to the door of the café.
Realizing the pale man has left the café, both turn to look at Haru at the same time to see her still sitting there, alone. Namjoon lets out an indicative laugh as he taps on Taehyung's shoulders, eyes motioning him to go to her. But as much as he really wants to, his feet feel heavy suddenly. Something is stopping him for actually pursuing her and the thought of the man from seconds ago really made his mind swirls into a mess.
What is the relationship between that man and Haru?
"Not going to go and say hi to her?"
He thought to himself for a few second, but then he shakes his head as he smiles bitterly. "No, maybe not today"
-
Seokjin sighs as he reads the reports of Haneul's health from today's rounds. The nurse who has been taking care of Haneul for weeks did mention there is a slight change on her condition. Haneul seems to be getting weaker and weaker each day and he wonders what more can be done to keep her stable.
He talked to Haru the night before, updating about Haneul her condition that seems to worsen. It pains him to see the worried look on Haru's face when he explained everything. His heart breaks every time he needs to convey every bad news to her. Well, that is one the challenges he had acknowledged when he decided to pursue this field. Something he should be used to, but never will.
"Why do you look so worried?", Haneul's weak voice startled him. "Not like I am going to die today"
He looks up to see Haneul slowly yet weakly pushing herself up thus he quickly goes to help her. "You shouldn't be up"
"I am bored, Dr Kim", she managed a weak laugh, her pale lips trembling as she withstands the pain of her shaky body. "Were you reading my file?"
He gives a soft nod matched with weak smile, his hands carefully adjusting the pillows behind her body so that she can lean on them comfortably. He watches as Haneul breathes in and out softly, face twitching in unbearable pain but she could still smile when their eyes met.
"Have you told her?"
"About?"
"Me", she gulps painfully, her throat still bitter from all the medicines she had to take earlier. "Can you not tell her?"
Seokjin looks confused, lost eyes looking at hers in search for a clarification. "What do you mean?"
"She is already so worried about me collapsing two nights ago. I do not want to burden her more. She doesn't deserve any more pain"
"You don't want me to tell Haru?", Seokjin looks surprised, but he tries to appear calm. "You want me to kee—"
"Don't tell her okay?"
"Haneul, are you sure about this?"
Haneul smiles bitterly to herself, looking through her fingers as she thinks. "I have hurt her enough all these years. I cannot bear hurting her more. I just...I do not know Dr Kim. If you tell her about my condition.... wouldn't it just.... break her...?"
Seokjin places one hand at the railing of the bed, looking down in distress as he himself feels overwhelming burden of having to tell Haru about Haneul's deteriorating state. When he had found out from the specialist who did the surgery on Haenul that she might have only a few months to live, he just dropped to the floor, speechless. What surprised him even more is Haneul knew about it before he did, and she was oddly calm about it.
"I just, I am worried about Haru", he finally speaks. "You're her greatest strength but also, her utmost weakness"
Haneul turns to her doctor, surprised to see his face twitching as he tries to hide his overflooding concern for her and Haru. She studies his face, seeing the apparent look of concern, regret, sad and despair all tangled together.
"Dr Kim, don't tell her, okay?", she puts his cold pale hand over his bigger one. "Don't tell her that I will not be able to make it. Please do not tell her. Promise me, please promise me"
While at the other side of the ajar door, Haru stands there frozen when she accidentally heard the conversation between Haneul and Dr Kim. She was about to push the door open when she had heard Dr Kim's voice talking in a such serious tone and it stunned her. So, she stood there in silence and unfortunately, she heard everything.
She heard everything
-
It feels like there is warped sound of something crashing at the back of her head, it could be her heart breaking or it could be just every bit of her life finally collapses and crashed into the cold floor of the hospital. Her ears ring but it feels distant, yet it pierces her eardrums, making her closed her eyes trying to make it go away. Blood rushing up to her head, pulling her entire being into a swirl as she feels everything around her spin. Everything becomes a blurry vision as she feels the overwhelming urge to burst into tears but yet, she is fighting it.
Haneul's words replay in her head like a broken old radio, repeating again and again inflicting pain each time. Her heart feels like it has shattered into small pieces and it feels impossible to collect every bit to put it back together. But somehow, it feels heavy. Her chest feels heavy making it hard for her to breathe. She stumbles backwards, a breath knocked out her chest when she snapped out of her swirling thoughts, remembering she is still at the hospital.
She needs to be alone. She needs to flee before Haneul or Dr Kim realizes she has heard everything.
So, she did. She walked as fast as she could, not minding the direction nor the nurses that might have seen her. She has no idea where she was heading but all she needed is to find a place to be alone. She wasn't even looking up to where she was walking, only to realize she ends up end of the floor where the vending machines are placed on the side of the wall. There is a long wooden bench facing the big clear window—probably a place for visitors or caretakers to get refreshments.
Annoyed at herself for ending up there, she lets out a soft groan as she pressed her fingers on her eyes. She wants to cry but at the same time, she does not want to. She is too speechless to even think straight and rational. If only she can just run straight to the windows and jump, that shall end everything. But thank god for the tiny bit of rationality that reminds her that the act will be such a dumb thing to do.
After having a few seconds of internal conflict with herself, she finally decides to head straight to the rooftop. That place might be the best option because usually no one will be there. But as she thinks to herself, still deciding if there is another place she could go, the slight deep cough coming from the side startled her.
She turns to the direction of the sound and the way her heart almost stopped at the sight of the very familiar man standing beside of the vending machines, cluelessly staring at her.
"M-Mister...Kim?"
Her voice suddenly breaks as she says his name and it sounded more like a tiny sob. She watches as he stares at her with big, confused eyes, one hand still holding on to the bottle she assumed he was about to drink before she suddenly barged into the space. He looks at her, big eyes looking very startled at her looking completely dreadful.
But for some reason, the sight of him gives her a certain assurance and an unknown comfort. She has no idea from where those feelings come from, but they are just there all of a sudden. He looks at her with a look of concern, probably realizing the way her eyes are red and glassy due to the tears threatening to fall once again.
She looks at him unknowingly, feeling the odd comfort filling the cold air between them. He doesn't look away, instead he just stares at her, still looking very stunned. It puzzles her to how one look at him has given her this strange feeling of ease. She feels safe and if possible, thankful that she bumped into him here.
However, when realized she was in the midst of an emotional turmoil and at the edge of breaking down, she thinks it is better if she just leaves. He cannot witness another episode of her crying like mad woman. But as she was about to turn around and leave, he suddenly breaks the awkward silence between them.
"Are you...okay?"
His question was simple and honest, but it exudes so much warm that it makes her heart aches even more. She looks at him once again and when she meets his gentle gaze, the last bit of her strength just crumbles down, and she burst into tears. Tears stream down her cheeks endlessly forcing her to close her eyes attempting to stop them from falling. But to no avail, the more she wants it to stop, more tears come out dampening her face.
Taehyung gasped when she suddenly burst into tears as she stands there, her fingers pressing on the side of her face. At first, he thinks of all the fine professional line between the of them, wondering if he can even do anything to comfort her. But the sight of her crying to herself in front of him made his body freeze and his mind goes completely blank.
As if his rational mind is no longer in control of his body giving way for his heart takes the lead. He swiftly throws his drink into the bin, closes the distance between them and then, without a warning, he pulls her into his arms.
"Cry ,just cry. I'll be here. So, just cry"
~~~~
NOTE
hello everyone! I am so proud with myself that I am updating quite a lot this week. I hope this chapter it good! Thank you so much for your time reading ! Love youuuuu~