Find Yourself

By ogdragontamer

37.2K 1.1K 1.1K

Victor's journey is far from over. He will struggle and learn who he is, find great love and great pain. Bu... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Halloween Special
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26

Chapter 23

594 20 17
By ogdragontamer

*Trigger Warning*

*A transphobic slur is used in this chapter*

-----

Friday - Day of the Art Show

Victor

Brasstown

     As we all walked through the door, Adrian ran past me, screaming, "I call dibs on the couch!"  I looked at my sister and asked, "Pilar, can you please make sure Adrian doesn't get himself into any trouble while I am at work?"  Pilar rolled her eyes and said, "Ugh, fine!  I guess this place is better than listening to mom and dad fight all day."  

     She walked over to the couch where Adrian had taken his Frozen wand out and started waving it in the air.  She turned to me as she was walking away and said, "I expect free coffee all-day, Hot Chocolate with extra whip cream for Adrian, and I will take an Iced Mocha, extra whip cream."  I smiled and said, "You got it!"  As soon as she had her back turned, Benji laughed and said, "Sarah is going to kill you!"  I muttered, "This is going to be an expensive day."

     As I walked behind Benji into the main work area, Felix asked, "Why are your siblings here with you?" I sighed and said, "Mom and dad are fighting, so I took them away from the drama." Felix replied, "Sorry, buddy! Maybe they can go to the art show tonight?" I looked at Benji, making sure he didn't forget, and when I did, Benji replied, "Oh, yeah!" He turned to Sarah and asked, "Is there any way we can get off a bit early tonight? Our friend has a big art show-" Sarah snapped, "That should be fine."  She paused, sounding somewhat annoyed, but continued, "I will just call the closing people to tell them to get here early."  As she walked away, Benji said, "Thank you!"  As she got to the point that we couldn't see her anymore, she muttered, "Yeah, yeah."

     As soon as Sarah was out of sight, Felix came out from the locker room.  All dressed up.  I asked, "Where are you going?"  Felix laughs and says, "Carter and I are going out for the day until the show.  He is supposed to be here any minute now."  I smiled, thinking of how happy Carter has made him.  I asked, "You really like him, don't you?"  Felix smiled at me and said, "I really do!  When I was into Lake, it was more like I was trying to fit into what society wanted, but with Carter, I can just be myself."

     The thought of my best friend being this happy brought a smile to my face.  I looked at Benji, who was getting ready for our shift and completely oblivious to our conversation and said, "You know, that is how I felt with Mia too.  I was just trying to please everyone else but ignoring my feelings.  With Benji-"  Saying his name must have caught his attention because he tousled his hair like he did when I first saw him as he walked our way, which made my insides melt.

      Watching him walk towards me, I must have looked like a deer in the headlights because Benji laughed and asked, "Babe, are you ok?  You are staring-"  I shook my head to snap out of it, which made Felix and Benji laugh.  Benji grabbed me by the waist and kissed me softly on the cheek, and said, "You are so cute!"  Felix laughed at our interaction and said, "That is how I am with Carter!  Speaking of, I have to meet him downtown.  Call us when you are off!"  He grabbed his jacket and darted out of the coffee shop, and Benji and I went to work.

     After I quickly made Pilar and Adrian's drinks, I brought them over to the couch.  Adrian quickly grabs his hot chocolate and yells, "Thank you, Victor!"  I was expecting something similar from Pilar, but she was on the phone, so I set her drink down on the table.  Before I could walk away and get back to work, Pilar asks, "Hey, is it alright if I bring a friend tonight?"  I smile at the fact that Pilar has a friend and say, "Yeah, that's fine!  Who are you bringing?"  Pilar blushes and asks, "Remember Marcus?"  

     I think about it for a minute and ask, "Isn't that the guy from the corn maze?"  She smiles at the thought of him and says, "Yes!"  As I stand up and get ready to get back to work, I say, "Yeah, that's fine!  But I am not paying for his coffee if you bring him here!"  Pilar put the phone to her ear again and started talking again.  I laughed and mumbled to myself, "I am glad she is finally meeting people."

      After a few hours, Sarah walked out of the office and snapped, "Benji, it's kind of slow right now.  You can be off if you want!"  I looked at Benji as he walked to the locker area and asked, "Can-"  Sarah snapped, "No, you only have an hour left of your shift.  Your boyfriend can go without you for that long."  I turned and grabbed my rag to clean more of the counter I was already cleaning, watching as Pilar, Adrian, and her new friend were all having a good time, and I was at work.

     Benji snuck up behind me and kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "Well, I can play big brother while you finish up here."  Feeling his breath on my neck made me freeze and kind of turned me on.  I muster up the words to say, "Text Felix that I will be off in an hour?"  Benji kissed my cheek again and said, "I'll miss you!"  He walked away and sat down next to Adrian, who was waving around his Frozen wand.

     Sarah laughed as Benji walked away and said, "God, you two are so adorable!" I looked at her and laughed as she walked back to the office, leaving me alone to man the station in an empty coffee shop. As soon as she was out of sight, I walked over to the area where everyone was sitting and decided I would waste time by endlessly cleaning the one table by my siblings and boyfriend.

      "So Marcus, we are going to an art show tonight.  Are you going to come with-" Benji asked, trying to be nice to Pilar's new friend. Pilar rolled her eyes and snapped, "Benji, you have your own boyfriend, go hit on him-" As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized what she said. Looking at Marcus, his dark complexion and his face went bright red. Pilar quickly got up and ran out of the coffee shop, followed by Marcus.

      I looked at Benji, who was trying hard not to laugh, and Adrian playfully said, "Victor, how come I don't have a boyfriend? Everyone has a boyfriend but me! It's not fair!" I froze at what he just said and tried to think of what to say. When I was about to speak, Sarah yelled, "Victor, I can handle the front till the closers get here. Go ahead and go!" I breathed a sigh of relief as I headed to the employee lockers to change out of my work clothes.

     After I quickly changed, I saw Pilar walk into the coffee shop alone. I asked, "What happened-" She snapped back, "Don't say a word!" *Ring* *Ring* *Ring* my phone buzzed, and everyone looked at me as they stood up, ready to go. I answered the phone without looking at who it was and said, "Hello?"

-----

Carter

     As I stood there bawling my eyes out, I felt like I wanted to curl up into a ball and just shrivel up and die.  I am so grateful to Felix for standing by me during all of this, watching the maintenance crew at the youth center board up the hateful words spray-painted on the door.  Felix took out his phone, and after a few seconds, he said, "Victor, you guys need to get here right now!"  Felix put the phone on speakerphone, so I could speak too, as he wrapped his arms around me.

     Victor, with a bit of worry in his voice, asked, "What's wrong?"  I felt my eyes tear up as Felix said, "Someone vandalized the main entrance."  Victor asked, "What did they say?"  I felt my stomach churn as I said, "Someone spray-painted, "GET OUT OF TOWN LADYBOY!" on the door."  Victor immediately asks, "Are you ok?  I wipe the tears from my eyes and said, "Yeah, I am, just hurry up and get down here, and be safe, okay?"  Victor replied, "Yeah, we will be.  See you soon!"

     As soon as we hung up the phone, Martin walks up to me and says, "Buddy, they are just about done covering up the vandalism.  No one will blame you if you want to cancel-"  I snap, "No, if we cancel the show, they win.  I don't know who they were, but I won't back down.  I had put up with worse than this when I was pre-op."  Martin gives me a proud smile and says, "You really have come along way from the quiet kid that came into my office all those years ago."

     I nuzzled my head into Felix's chest and smiled at how far I have come from the scared girl who lost her family to transitioning and becoming Carter and now finding my person.  Martin heads back inside, leaving Felix and me alone outside, watching the last piece of plywood cover up the hate-filled words when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

     I pulled it out, and it was Monica, Victor's aunt.  "Hey, I got Dillon's nurse to let me bring him to your show, as long as his nurse joins us.  The doctor says that it would be good for his recovery.  See you soon."  I quickly type out a reply, "I cant wait to see you guys."

     I turned and rested my head on Felix's chest, and he kissed me on the forehead.  As soon as he did, I felt my heart melt.  I was falling for him more and more each day.  He completes me.  I thought to myself, "God, I love you."  And at the same time I thought it, Felix said, "I love you, Carter."  Hearing those words, I froze.  We have never said that to each other before.  Sure I have thought it but never said it.

     I looked up at him, and as I did, our eyes met, and I just knew.  I said, "I love you too, Felix."  He smiled at me, and I smiled back as he pulled me in for a kiss that took my breath away.  I felt every sensation they say you feel when you kiss the right person.  The butterflies, the fireworks, and time stood still.  I felt it all, and I wanted him never to let go.

     After a few minutes of us kissing, I heard, "EWWWWW!"  I quickly pulled off of Felix, thinking that maybe the people who vandalized the door had come back, but it was Victor and company.  The audible "EWW" came from what I could guess is his younger brother, who was laughing as he said, "See Victor!  I told you, everyone has a boyfriend but me!"  We all laughed, not knowing how to react to what the little guy just said.  Victor asked, "Are you guys, ok?"  I nod, grab my lover's hand, and say, "Let's go inside!"

-----

Monica

     I slid my phone back into my purse as soon as Graham walked back into the room, now changed out of his scrubs into a nice pair of jeans and a Led Zeplin t-shirt.  He handed Dillon a pair of clothes and said, "The doctor said that this could be good for Dillon to see his old friends and be out in society again.  It may trigger a memory or help him in his recovery.  The only way he signed off is if he is accompanied by hospital staff, which is me.  I will bring him back here tonight."  I nodded my head and said, "You just want to spend more time with me, don't you?"

     He smiles and says, "No, I am just doing my job, and as this guy's personal nurse, I have to go wherever he goes."  He pats Dillon's shoulder as he finished putting on his shirt.  Dillon smiled at me and asked, "Is Uncle Fred going to be there?"  I smiled at him and said, "No, he won't but believe me, Peanut, I will find him soon.  Mark my words."  We walked out the door and to the hospital van that was waiting for us outside.  Once we got settled in the car, I said, "The art show is at the youth center downtown."

-----

Carter

     As the art show begins, I stood at the entrance greeting people as they came inside.  Felix, who was right next to me, grabbed my hand, which caught the attention of a few people that filed inside.  He could tell that I was nervous because he said, "Babe, you will be just fine!"  Still looking forward, I mutter, "I am nervous because this is the first time that my new mom is going to see my work."  Felix squeezes my hand and asks, "When is she supposed to get here?"

     I motioned for us to go join the others in the middle of the room, and I said, "She is supposed to get here anytime." And as soon as we got to our group of friends who were hanging out in the middle of the room, Lake and her mom walked through the door. She walked over to me and gave me the biggest hug, and said, "Carter, did you do all of this work?!" I hugged her back and said, "Yes, I did!" She looked around the room and said, "Well, I think I need to go look around, and it is a good thing that we have a guest house outback. You could use that for an art studio!"

     I got butterflies, thinking about how I will have my own art studio, and I felt whole. I have a boyfriend that loves me, a sister who really cares about me, a mother who is impressed by my work, and a possible art studio. Both Lake and my adoptive mother started walking around the room, and I was in awe of the number of people I have here tonight.

     After a while, I was in awe of the number of people that came in to see my work. I never thought I was that good. Felix wrapped his arms around me, and Lake came back to tell me, "Carter, you have some serious talent!"

     As soon as I felt comfortable, I saw her. Charlotte Vanderbilt stormed into the room in a black silk dress, her usual black high heels, a black and silver clutch purse, her signature long black hair, and her blood-red lips. I was hoping that she wouldn't see me, or all of my friends, but she was walking this way, with a man that had a resemblance of someone she could be related to, walking behind her carrying a briefcase.

     I felt my stomach churn, she was the last person I wanted to see, and with Dillon coming, she was the last person he needed to see right now. Every one must have noticed my expression as I looked at her slither this way. Everyone turned, and collectively, I felt everyone tense up. Even Martin knew something was wrong because he got here the same time she did and said, "Mrs. Vanderbilt, how can I help you?"

     "Carter darling, it is so nice running into you here!" She spat in my direction like she was playing with her next meal. Martin knew she was up to something, so he repeated, "How can I help you, Mrs. Vanderbilt?" She turned to him sharply, and before she could speak, Benji snapped, "What the hell do you want, you frigid bitch!"  

     She barely even glanced away from Martin after Benji's verbal assault. Instead, she focused on me and turned all her attention to me, even ignoring Martin's repeated question. This gaze made me freeze, she always terrified me, but I could barely move or speak this time.

     She went on, "Carter darling, I am here to inform you that because the Vanderbilt estate paid for your top surgery when you were under our care, we require you to repay any expenses that we had accrued while you were in our care." Martin snapped, "Um, you can't just-" She put her hand up to his mouth, covering it as she finished, "You are required to pay us back for hospital bills, medications, and anything else that you needed in your transition going from Carla Baxter to Carter Baxter. In the total estimated amount of $25,000."

     Martins jaw dropped, and I could tell that everyone else was in shock as well. No one said anything.  We just stood there. I felt myself go numb.  How in the hell was I supposed to repay $25,000 right now? How could she do this? I know that Vincent didn't sign off on this alone, and I know that Charlotte has always been the one in charge. I was so confused as to how someone could be so cruel.

     Charlotte pursed her lips because she had not received a response, so she snapped her fingers twice, and the man with the briefcase handed her a stack of papers that were folded up. She grabbed them and handed them to me, and with a sny smile, she said, "Carter, darling, you have been served." She let out a laugh that proved that in her mind, she had just won. She must have been happy with herself because she snapped her fingers again, which caught the man's attention, and she snapped, "Fred, come!"

     Watching her walk away as she had just defeated me, which in a way she had, set me off. I was no longer under her care, and I always hated her. My fear turned to rage, and I roared, "LISTEN HERE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" As soon as the words left my mouth, the man she called Fred had stopped.  She turned around, knowing that her playtime had just begun.

-----

Monica

     As we walked into the youth center, I heard someone yell, "LISTEN HERE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"  I looked at Graham and said, "That sounds like Carter!"  I said, somewhat panicked.  Graham looked at me and said, "Go see what is up.  We will be in there shortly."  I ran through the doors, making sure that everything was ok, and as soon as I saw the woman standing in the middle of the room, I froze.  There she was, Charlotte Vanderbilt.  I had wanted a run-in with her since I got here.  She is the only lead I have to figure out what happened to Fred.

     I looked at her as she stormed towards Carter, and I saw red.  That woman ruined my whole life.  She is the reason that Fred left me.  I look next to her, and I felt my heart skip a beat.  Could it be?  I yell, "Fred?!"  He turned to me, and I melted.  There was the man that stole my heart, and I knew one day I would be married too.  Before I could say anything else, Charlotte roared, "How in the fucking hell did you get here?"

     Her words brought back my rage.  I went from being calm and happy to see Fred to wanting to beat the living shit out of her.  I roared, "You ruined my life when you took my Fred away from me!"  She grinned her evil grin and said, "He left you of his own accord.  Probably best that a Vanderbilt doesn't hang out around gutter trash."  Fred, who had been standing there in shock, snapped, "No Charlotte, you told me to leave because-"

     She smacked him across the face with her clutch purse and roared, "GET IN THE CAR NOW!"  The room went silent, and people were recording the interaction, as the most prominent woman in all of Atlanta was unraveling at an art show in the youth center.  Just then, the local newswoman, Georgina Cunningham, walked over to Charlotte and asked, "What seems to be the problem here, Mrs. Vanderbilt?"

     Charlotte roared, "Get your camera crew.  I want her face all over the news as the homewrecker who tried to steal my company-!"  "Charlotte?" A voice mumbled over the crowd, and everyone looked over in the direction.  Charlotte froze as soon as she heard her name.  Once she turned around, she saw her son, Dillon standing there.  He looked terrified of her, but he knew who she was.

     All the cameras in the room were on Dillon, and Georgina asked, "Mrs. Vanderbilt, how is it that your son is dead when he is right here?"  Charlotte looks unhinged as she has just been outed that her son is indeed alive.  She turns towards Georgina and smacks her across the face, causing her to fall to the ground.  Carter and one of his friends run to her, and they scream, "MOM!"  Charlotte roared, "You work for me, and you treat me like this?!"  She finally put two and two together and noticed how Carter called her mom.  She snaps, "You adopted him?"  She didn't wait for a response from her.  She muttered, "I will see you in court then!"

     She stormed in my direction and roared towards Fred, "WE ARE LEAVING!"  I looked at him, and he hadn't budged an inch.  He stood his ground and said, "No, Charlotte, you are leaving."  She turned in his direction, and I could see him tense up out of the fear.  When he stood his ground, she turned and headed towards me, who was standing in front of the entrance still.

     Listening to her treat Fred that way and how she had treated everyone since I felt my anger boil over as she walked my way.  Once she was directly in front of me, she roared, "Move!"  I couldn't take it anymore.  I needed an outlet for my anger.

*PUNCH*

     I balled up my fist, and I punched her right in the face, causing her to fall backward onto her bottom.  The room roared with applause, watching her hit the ground, and I stood there, watching her squirm, realizing that I punched her.  The embarrassment must have gotten to her because she got up as fast as she could, pushed past me, and ran out of the building.  Once I knew she was gone, the room erupted with applause.  I looked at Fred, and I couldn't believe that he was here in front of me right now.

     I ran to him with tears in my eyes and embraced him once again.  I cried, "Mi Vida!"  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "Mi Amor!  Oh, how I missed you!"  He put his forehead against mine, and I saw the tears stream down his face.  I  couldn't take it any longer, and I kissed him, and it was like he never left.  He is still the same man that I fell in love with all those years ago.

-----

Victor

     As the show ended, as a group, we decided to go out to dinner.  I wanted Adrian and Pilar to go home, but they insisted that they come with us.  They wanted to celebrate Auntie Monica finding Uncle Fred again with everyone.  Georgina insisted that she would pay, wearing it like a badge of honor that she took a beating from her boss but had the best leverage over her now.  Auntie Monica seemed to enjoy how she was the group's rockstar, as she decked the most powerful woman in Atlanta in public and got a standing ovation.

     Once we got to the restaurant, some fancy sushi place near the youth center,  we were seated right away.  I think it had to do with the fact that Lake's mom is a newswoman, making her a local celebrity.  Once we all were sitting down, Adrian pulled out his Frozen wand and started to wave it around.  Benji played Frozen with him, which was the cutest thing ever, and it made my day.

     What caught my eye was the couple that was on the other side of the room.  Pilar must have seen it, too, because she stood up and followed me over to the other side of the room.  Benji noticed me get up but kept Adrian busy, which I was thankful for.  He didn't need to hear what I was about to say.  "So, this is the reason why you have been so demanding with dad.  You are dating his old boss!"  I snapped at my mom, who was unaware that I had seen her.

     Roger looked up at me and said, "Victor!  Nice to see you, son!"  Hearing him call me son was enough to set me off.  I snapped, "Shut up!"  Mom snapped back, "Victor.  I will not permit you to speak to your elders this-"  Pilar snapped, "You are a nasty homewrecker!  You cheat on dad, break up our family, and now you are dating him!  You want us to respect you, but you can't even respect yourself!"  Roger looks at us and says, "Your mother is a grown adult.  If she wants to trade up, I say let her!"

     Hearing him say that pissed me off more than I ever thought I could be.  I bunched up my fist and said, "Mom, you broke our family, and treat us like we are too stupid to get why you cheated, and dad hit me for coming out.  Both of you are not fit to be parents at all.  I am going to get emancipated, and I will get custody of Adrian.  I am done with you!"  I stormed off, leaving Pilar standing there.  I didn't want to see my mom's face after I said that.  I always loved her, but she broke my trust too much this time.

     Once I got back to the table, Benji grabbed my hand and asked, "Are you ok?"  I squeeze his hand and say, "Is it alright if we go home?"  Auntie, Monica looks at me and asks, "Is everything ok, Amor?"  I look in the direction of my mother, and she follows my gaze.  Once she sees my reason, she nods, and I quietly take my siblings out of the restaurant. 

-----

Thank you, everyone, for being patient!  I am sorry for the delay in the chapter.  I had some technical issues that I have worked through.  This chapter had a lot going on, and I wanted to make sure that it was perfect!


As always, remember to vote, comment, follow, and share!  Thank you, and I love you all!

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