Jace's dark blue eyes grow to the size of saucers. They're glassy and bloodshot appearance quickly shifting, clearing up as he leans against the door.
"Alexis," he rasps my name like a prayer. "W-What are you doing here?"
Swallowing down my nerves, I hold onto my anger with everything I have. "You said we were going to talk tonight, but you didn't show. Why? Too busy partying? Fighting?"
I can smell the bitter aroma of beer and weed on him from a foot away. Mix that with the fresh cuts and bruises on his face and it's not hard to tell what he's been up to tonight. However, fighting the urge to rush into his arms and check to make sure he's okay is extremely difficult. My fingers flex with the need to touch him.
"It's not like that, baby." Jace reaches out for me but I take a healthy step back. "Please, just come inside. Let me explain."
I should say no, turn around, and go home. I should do the exact opposite of what I find myself doing in this moment.
"Everything?" I cross my arms and raise a questioning brow.
Jace nods. "Everything. Fucking swear."
When he reaches out for me this time, I let him pull me in. With Jace's arms around me, my body relaxes for the first time all week, greedily leaning into his touch. It's not fair how easy this is. I should be putting up more of a fight but I can't find it in me to do so.
A small smile graces Jace's lips as he shuts the door behind us and leads me to the couch. Light streams through the floor to ceiling blinds covering the balcony windows and highlights the dry blood and dirt on his face.
I reach up to brush the back of my hand down his cheek. "What happened?"
I want to be angry but that's hard to do seeing him like this. When I pull my hand away, Jace notices the blood left on my fingertips.
"Maybe I should clean up real quick."
Nodding, I sit down. "Go ahead. I'll wait here."
Questions flash in his eyes but he bites them back before walking away.
It's not long before Jace comes back, clean, and dressed in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. The cuts on his face are no longer covered in dry blood and grime but I doubt he took the time to properly clean them. His chest glistens like he didn't fully dry off before coming out either. Even his hair is still damp and clinging to his forehead. He's painfully gorgeous, making this that much harder.
Sitting down next to me, Jace takes a deep but shaky breath, wincing as he places a hand against his ribs.
"You had a fight tonight?" I whisper, my voice still sounding too loud in this dark apartment.
Jace's jaw ticks as he shakes his head. "Not exactly."
Dropping my gaze, I think back to Kade's text. "Initiation?"
Jace's drawn-out silence feels like an answer of its own. After a minute he clears his throat. "I-I don't know where to start."
"The beginning would be nice."
"Right." Jace nods, running a hand through his hair. "The beginning...fuck, okay."
If I wasn't already nervous before, I sure as hell am now. My heart races in my chest, pounding against my ribcage as Jace shifts to face me. Fear flashes in his eyes when he takes my hand, and it's almost enough to make me back out now.
I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to. I don't want to force him. I just want him to want to tell me, to let me in.
But when he opens his mouth to speak, I don't stop him. I need this. In a way, we both do. "West Freecaster has been under the protection of a group of bikers called the Guardians since my grandfather was my age. He...he and his friends were the first generation of Guardians, the originals. Since then, it's been almost a given that the men in my family become Guardians too."
"Are y..." I start to say when Jace holds up a hand to stop me.
His worried eyes lock with mine. "Please, Alexis, let me get all of this out while I still got the fucking nerve to. Then you can ask whatever you want."
Drawing in a deep breath, I nod. "Okay."
"Thank you." Jace brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my knuckles before returning our conjoined fingers to his lap. "Growing up in the old neighborhood with you and Caleb, I never really thought much about the family tradition. I mean, I didn't live on the West Side. So, what was the fucking point?"
Jace's eyes focus on our hands, his eyebrows pinched together as he gets lost in his words. "But then Mom and I lost the house and we didn't have a choice after that. With my uncle owning these apartments, he gave us a good deal so we'd have a roof over our heads. We couldn't turn that down." His dark blue pools look up at me with an open vulnerability that takes my breath away. Oh, Jace. "I hated having to leave you. Having to switch schools where I wouldn't be able to see you every day or hang out when classes were done. The only thing that made the move even bearable was having Kade around. He helped take my mind off shit and...he and my uncle introduced me to the Guardians."
Of course. If the men in his family are involved, then Kade and his uncle must be too.
"It only took me a week of hanging out with Kade and the others to know I wanted in too. So I took the first step and became a prospect along with Kade and Travis. Wild was next, showed up out of nowhere, and wanted to join."
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I can't resist asking at least one question. "Were we still together then?"
Jace wets his lips and nods. "Yeah, we were."
"Was..." I blow out a deep breath. "Was I in the way or something? Is that why you..."
"Fuck, no," Jace snaps as he shakes his head and grips my hand tighter. "Alexis, I didn't break up with you because of anything you did. Shit, it wasn't because of anything I did either. I...I just needed to protect you."
My mind tries to process this new information, but I'm still not fully grasping it. How does breaking up with me protect me?
Seeing the confusion on my face, Jace tips his head to the side. "You remember that fight I told you about?"
"The one that made you wanna start fighting in the cage?"
"Yeah." He nods. "That wasn't just some fight with some random guys. The Guardians...we have enemies on the West Side. Another MC called the Vipers that are led by a rich and twisted family of evil bastards...The fight was with them."
"And?" I know there's more to the story than that. I wouldn't need protecting just from some pissed off bikers.
Jace chews on his lip. "Shit got intense with those guys, before the fight. T-They were hurting people close to us...women...Josie," he painfully whispers Jo's name before his head drops. "She wasn't even close to the Guardians. Just a childhood friend of Kade and Travis. But they went after her anyway just to hurt them. Those sick fucks..." Jace looks up at me, his eyes shining in the dark with the threat of tears. "I couldn't let them do that to you. And I have no doubt they would have if they knew we were together...so I pushed you away...I'm so fucking sorry, baby."
I don't even realize a stray tear has rolled down my cheek until Jace gently wipes it away.
He said they hurt Josie and my stomach rolls with the horrible feeling of what that could mean.
Poor Jo.
She's so sweet and so strong. The thought of something like that happening and how she's able to keep her head up every day...that's nothing short of a miracle.
I swallow my tears and the heartache for my friend. "Did they catch the guys who hurt her?"
I can't look Jace in the eyes. His statuesque demeanor already speaks volumes, making my heart plummet to the pit of my stomach and bile rise in my throat.
"One of the guys got probation since he was a minor."
One of the guys? Oh, God, no.
"The other did some fucking minimal time like he stole a car rather than stealing someones..." Jace lets go of my hand, balling it up like he wants to hit something.
It's all so much. From the Guardians to these Vipers, and then Josie. My heart and mind want to rip in different directions for multiple reasons. I have to fight the feeling to break down along with my racing thoughts. I need to know everything and I feel like we've only just scratched the surface.
So with a deep breath and a promise to offer a listening ear to Josie if I ever get the chance, I press forward. "Are these Vipers still an issue?"
Jace's jaw twitches as he nods. "Yeah. They laid low for a while but that evil asshole just got out of jail early. They've been stirring shit up again."
"Like the party at Brandy's house?" I think back to the night we ran from the smoking house and jumped off the roof to escape. I thought Jace was overreacting but maybe I just didn't have all the information.
"Not exactly," Jace answers. "The smoke bomb distraction is something they've been known to do. So when the guys called and told me what was going on, all I could think about was getting you far away from there. But we were wrong and you were right." He flashes me a small smile. "We overreacted. Turned out just to be some junior high kids pulling a fucking prank."
Hearing that eases my nerves a little. "What about the night I stayed at Josie's after the club? You..." my voice cracks picturing Jace's cut-up face and arms. I can't bring myself to say the rest. The memories are still too fresh.
Jace pulls me close, tucking my head against his chest. "Yeah...that was them."
A small sob rips from my throat. I knew it was bad. His injuries were severe. But I didn't realize just how bad it was.
Yanking back to look him in the eyes, panic rushes through my veins. "And tonight?" I touch one of the dark purple bruises covering his cheek. "Did they do this to you?"
This time Jace's eyes light up with a deeper, happier spark. His heart-melting smile slips across his lips. "No. This was part of the initiation."
I blink repeatedly. Lost at the meaning of his words.
"Tonight I went from being a prospect to a legit Guardian. I'm one of them now. There's no going back," he says, his voice filled with so much pride and happiness.
I want to be happy for him. Clearly, this is something he really wants. But I can't ignore the doubt and the worry spiraling inside me like a tornado.
Standing up from the couch, I pace in front of the coffee table trying to digest everything.
"Alexis," Jace calls cautiously.
Jace is in a motorcycle gang. The guy I...care about and want to be with is in a motorcycle gang.
This is a lot. I know I told him last week that I can accept a lot of things, and I can, but this is a hell of a lot to wrap my mind around. The cage fighting is one thing, but a full-on gang war is huge. He could get hurt. I could get hurt. The people I care about could get hurt, or worse!
What do I do?
Just thinking about walking away from Jace fills my chest with so much pain I can barely breathe. Stopping my pacing, I grab my neck and fight to draw in air.
"Lex, relax," Jace says, pushing up from the couch and rushing over. He places his hands on my shoulders and peers into my eyes with such fierce and intense fear that only adds to my panic attack.
"I-I..." I need to think. I need time. I wanna be with him but this is terrifying. It's going to take me a little while to get through that fear. "I need to go home."
Letting go of Jace's hand, I brush past him and rush to the door.
"Alexis!" Jace barks just as I grab the handle.
I freeze, my hand shaking and heart pounding. Resting my forehead against the door, I take a deep breath. "I just need some time, Jace."
Crossing the room, Jace crowds behind me, pressing his front to my back. His breath skates across the skin on the back of my neck, sending chills down my spine.
"If you go," he huskily rasps. "I'm not gonna chase you down this time, baby." Jace pushes my hair to one side and leans down to place soft kisses along my neck. "I wanna be with you but I know that's asking a lot. Not everyone can handle this lifestyle and I won't force you into doing something you don't want to. I'll..." grunting, his hands land on my hips with a bruising grip. "I'll let you go, Alexis. Even if it fucking kills me. I'll do that for you."
My breath fans across the wood door with each heave of my chest. "That's not what I want."
"Then what do you want, Alexis?" Jace growls through clenched teeth. He pushes himself against me, forcing me to brace my hands against the door. Pulling my hips closer to him, he grinds his stiffening dick against my ass.
He's losing control, tempting me in the most delicious way. It's not fair and yet I absolutely love it. My body craves his touch and he's using that against me.
Brushing his bottom lip against my exposed shoulder, Jace's voice drifts over me like silk. "What do you want, baby?" He asks again before sinking his teeth into my skin with enough pressure to leave a mark.
The sound that falls from my lips is a mix of a gasp and a whimper. Jace groans in approval before his tongue strokes the stinging bite, soothing it and setting my body on fire.
"You're playing dirty." I pant, my hands balling into fists against the door, fighting not to lose my mind.
Jace pushes his cock against me again and my body responds on its own, pushing back. "Damn straight I am. I'll let you go, Lex, but I'm not gonna make it easy for you." His hands slide around, gliding over my ribs until he cups my breasts. "You want this as much as me. You're just scared, and I get that. I really fucking do. But you have no reason to be scared of me. I'll work every day to make you feel special, to show you how much you mean to me. I'll keep you safe, no matter what."
"How?" I whisper desperately, arching my back and pressing against him. "You left me to keep me safe. Broke my heart just to push me away. What's changed now?"
One of his hands leaves my breast and drifts higher before gently wrapping around my neck. My heart thumps out of control but not from fear, from excitement. I know Jace would never hurt me, his hand on my throat isn't a threat but a way to draw me intimately closer to him.
His lips hover by my ear while his thumb strokes my pulse point. "I'm what's changed. I wasn't strong enough to protect you back then but I am now. Trust me, baby, I've struggled with this so fucking much since coming back to you. But leaving you alone has been impossible. You were made for me. We could be apart for several more years and you'll still be my greatest temptation. So I'm done fighting it. I'll take down whoever I have to if it means I get to keep you."
Leave it to Jase to brand my heart with his raw confessions. His words rip into me, exposing me for him to claim. He fucks with my head and makes it futile to resist him, no matter how much I may want to.
But...do I want to?
Jace's lips descend on me, creating a path of fire and goosebumps along my neck. When he reaches my shoulder, he rests his forehead against my sensitive skin, right over the mark his teeth created. "All my fucking cards are on the table. I've told you everything and if there's anything more you want all you have to do is ask. But the ball is in your court now, baby. If you walk out that door, I'll let you go. Or you could stay and be with me." The anguish in his voice tears at me, stripping away my barriers. "Let me keep you, Alexis. I promise you won't regret it."
Just as fast as he consumed me, Jace let's go and steps away. His heat is gone but I can still feel the ghost of his touch deep in my bones. The feel of his lips against my skin. His words lingering in my head.
With a growl, I bang my fist against the door.
Damn you, Jace!
I turn around slowly and press my back against the door. My eyes find him in the dark like a magnet, sitting in the dining room, facing me, waiting. The way he's looking at me pierces my heart with a savage passion, making my knees weak.
How did I ever think I could walk away from him? Jace has owned me for years, even when he wasn't here. There's no surviving alone, without him, and I'm tired of trying to. Even if that means accepting his demons. I'll gladly take them on if I get him in return.
Pulling in a deep breath, filling my lungs with the air and confidence I need, I walk towards him at a deathly slow pace. He watches me carefully, the intensity in his ocean-deep eyes rising with each step I take. I try to steady my breathing but it's a losing battle, like fighting my feelings for this amazing, dangerous, heart-melting man.
Reaching my destination, I stop in front of him and look down. Jace leans back in his chair, looking up at me while holding his breath. Every nerve in my body goes haywire, crackling, and sparking a searing heat in my veins.
Releasing another shaky breath, I act before I can second guess myself, and climb onto his lap. With my legs draped over his thighs, I rest my hands on his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath my fingertips. It matches my own chaotic beat. Like two people who have always been in sync.
Thump, thump, thump.
Biting my trembling lip, I slip a hand up to cup the side of his face. "Keep me?" I whisper, finally letting go of my fear. "Jace, you've always had me."
Something deep and beautiful gleams in his eyes as a smile-my smile, the one he keeps from others, the one that fills my stomach with butterflies and takes me back to our beginning-fills his face. His hands grab my face, holding me just inches from him.
"What does that mean for us?" he repeats the same question he asked me a lifetime ago on Halloween.
"It means I'm yours, and your mine."
His gorgeous smile doubles. "Fuck, yeah it does."
💋____________________________________💋
Don't panic, this is a double update night!
Basically, this chapter was so long I decided to break it into two. But before you jump to the next chapter, drop me your thoughts.
What do you think of Jace's confession? Do you wish he had said more or explained more? Are you happy or disappointed with Lexi's reaction? Did she do the right thing by staying?
Let me know what you think in the comments and if you like what you read, please hit that star button!
ALSO, KME reached 50k reads!!!!!
😲😲😲
This is a HUGE milestone for this book and it's all because of you lovely and loyal readers. Thank you all so much, I really appreciate the continued support for Jexi. Thank you all so much again, you're the best!
No teaser for chapter 37 since I'm posting it....right....now!!