I can't believe my parents have the fucking nerve to turn up here. Fucking Michael can be glad I'm not around his place at the moment for calling my parents for me going against the rule to ever turn up there again. Honestly, they can all go to hell. All of them made massive mistakes. Michael's whole family, my mum and dad, Emi's mum and dad, they all fucked up. And the ones paying for it are Sam, Emi and I.
When I tried going against their deal five years back, mum said it would be my fault alone if dad goes to prison. Fuck I was only a naive fifteen-year-old who thought he had to protect his family. Who was even told I have to protect my family above anything. Looking back, I protected the wrong people, they didn't deserve my protection.
And the person who really deserved my protection didn't get it. The person whose heart and soul broke that night.
After what happened, we moved to a place I didn't like. My parents hated each other and only stuck together because of the lie they were trying to protect. Mum keeps on repeating she couldn't live with dad going to prison. I wonder why she sticks to him, if she hates him on the other side. All they do is argue all day long and dad still sticks his fucking dick everywhere.
And me? I was left with a broken family, my best friend had raped the girl I loved the most. As if it wasn't bad enough I couldn't help her in that situation, no they made me lie and leave her behind, to live a life which I hated. Oxford made things easier, being away from my parents and that fucked up life. The guilt always stayed with me though. And then Sam turned up out of the blue, I can't believe my luck of having her back in my life. She doesn't know, but she is kind of healing me too.
I love her so freaking much. It broke my heart to lose her and now that I finally have her back, they can suck it. She's my life and all I need.
My parents are screaming at me for going back and even threatening Michael. It takes all my composure not to smirk while thinking about how Sam sucked it up to Michael. Knew he wouldn't be pleased about it, but fuck him and fuck my parents. No one is keeping me away from Sam anymore. As my dad starts telling me, I need to break up with Sam immediately, I flip off the hand. It's not like we were on friendly talking terms before that either, but enough is enough. He even has the fucking nerve to ask me since when, we are back together. I tell him it's none of his fucking business. That's where things start really escalating. I throw everything at him. Too obedient as son I didn't dare to say anything against him in the last couple of years, now he needs to know I am so done with his pathetic lies and him trying tell me how to lead my life just to protect his own. Have they ever cared about anyone else but themselves? Have they ever thought about how many lives they have carelessly destroyed?
Everything that has built up inside of me, all the hatred and pain are now taking upper hand and I throw it to his face.
Suddenly I hear something behind me fall on the ground. Shocked I turn around and see Sam stood there her eyes torn wide open, in hurt, disbelief, shock and anger. I feel all my blood drain from my face. She won't let me come near her and then she runs.
My heart is racing like mad, I'm hardly able to breathe in shock and fear of losing her again.
No matter how much I call out, I can't stop her, as soon as she drives off, I head back into my place. My motorbike! I need to follow her. No fuck the roads are too icy.
"Keys", I yell at my dad.
"You aren't getting my Porsche", he yells back.
"Keys, now. Or it's your fault if she kills herself on those icy roads. Another Jones you will have killed", I yell.
"No way", he glares at me. But mum pulls out the keys from his pocket I see the shocked look on his face.
No idea if mum is doing it for my sake right now or if she is worried Sam might blurt something out, I don't give a fucking damn. Running to the door my mum yells after me to be careful.
Fuck, I have no idea where the hell she could have gone. I keep on trying to call her, no surprise she isn't answering. Damn she won't be going to Emi after what she heard either. Maybe Emi has an idea though where she could have gone. I keep driving the direction I saw her take off to. As soon as Emi answers, I tell her what happened as fast as possible, literally rambling it down. She is totally devastated about the situation. Unfortunately she has no idea where to find Sam either, promises to let me know if she hears anything from her before she hangs up. These fucking roads are so damn icy, it scares the shit out of me she is driving around on them so upset. Where would I go in such a situation?
Guess I would look to get away as far and as fast as I can. The A34 is most likely the place I'd head first. I wouldn't take an overland route, if so I might have a rough idea what route she would have taken. A Porsche might not be the right car for this weather, but at least it can speed up better than her tiny Vauxhall, perhaps that's my chance.
God if anything happens to this girl, I will never be able to forgive myself or my parents. My phone rings, for a second, I think it's Emi, then I see Evans name, is that where she went? A little wave of hope washes over me.
"Hey Evans, is Sam with you?", I blurt through the phone.
"Where the hell are you Jake?", his voice sounds shaky.
"In the car looking for Sam, is she fucking with you? I need to know."
"We need to get to her fast, no idea what's going on, she was crying something about they killed her mum, and then....."
"What Evans?", I yell, my heart speeding up.
"She screamed like hell. I think she crashed badly Jake, I could hear it until things went dead and now I can't reach her."
My fingers clench around the steering wheel, while I feel like puking and all dizzy. No I can't give into this right now, I fucking need to keep my shit together and find her.
"Did she say where she is?", I ask while anxiety is taking over.
"She said something about seeing the Themes and heading the A34, I'm on my way there already and hope to find her."
Oh my god, I see her car it's on the roof in a field only a couple of hundred feet away from me.
"Found her, call an ambulance, this is damn bad", I yell through the phone, give him my position and start running as soon as my car is pulled up.
Fuck flames are starting to come from the front of the car. She isn't moving an inch, blood is everywhere as I crawl through the broken window on the passenger side, seeing as the driver's side is wrapped around a tree. Her pulse and rattled breathing tell me she's alive, but not responding in any kind of way to my words. Thank god I always carry my pocket knife along, we don't have much time until the car will totally go up in flames, so I cut her seatbelt after I can't loosen it like that. I make sure to try and catch her, so she doesn't fall too hard. God knows what injuries she already has. The window is so damn tight, I have no idea, how to get us both out of it, but it needs to happen now before this whole thing blows up.
Evans turns up behind me, yelling at me to get out of here, no chance I am leaving her in here. No chance I am giving up on her. I need his damn help instead, I tell him.
We manage to get her out together. As soon as we are far enough away from the car I cradle her in my arms. She isn't responding to anything, and I feel her pulse is getting weaker. Her whole body looks dislocated and blood is pooling from several wounds but the worst one is on her forehead.
Without having control of it, tears start running down my face. I tell her to hold on, that I love her and how much I need her.
She can't give up right now. After all the pain we've been through, after missing her so long, I know I could never love a girl like I love her. For fucks sake, my dad and the fucked up world aren't taking her away from me again. Even if she hates me once we get through this, I'll deal with it, anything is better than losing her completely.
Once I finally hear the ambulance arrive, I tell her they are going to take care of her and bring her back to me. No idea if she can even hear me, if not at least I am saying it for myself, because that is what I need to believe right now.
Her body was slack in my arms all the time, but it's as if every tension is leaving her body now, the rattled breathing disappearing. No, No, No!
I scream out for the paramedics to hurry and see Evans horrified and helpless look on his face as he is staring down at us on the ground.
"Step back Sir", one of the paramedics says to me.
I do and beg them to help her.
"She's not breathing and I have no pulse", the one says to another.
"Did you check her pulse and breathing, can you tell me how long it has stopped?" he asks me.
"Just as you arrived."
He nods, places her on a tray and starts a heart massage immediately and giving her all this rescue shit with breathing and so on. This first aid reanimation stuff. The other guy comes back from the ambulance with all kinds of stuff, god I have no idea what the hell that stuff all is. All I know, it has to help her. They give her some injection and start shocking her.
This feels like a horror show and all I can do is watch. Fire engines have arrived and are now taking care of the car which is totally in flames by now.
"I've got a heartbeat", one of the paramedics says.
I feel my knees give in and I sink back down to the ground. Of course I know this doesn't mean anything, she could still die. But right now, her heart is beating again she's still here.
"We need to get her stabilized as well as possible before taking her in the ambulance, once we have, it will be a rush."
"Where are you taking her?" I ask with a shaky voice.
"John Radcliff", he answers before keeping up the stuff which he is doing.
"Jake your phone", Evans says, his voice all shaky too.
"Don't give a fuck right now. It's my dad anyway."
"What the hell happened?", Evans asks while he is now stood next to me and helps me back up on my feet. "Why did you let her drive in the state she was in?"
"I tried to stop her, she heard things, she shouldn't have heard. Believe me I tried to stop her. Seems like no matter how hard I try I can never protect her. I fail each time."
I'm such a freaking fail to her, never am I able to protect her from the real threats in life.
"You got her out of that car, if you hadn't she'd already be dead", Evans states.
Again tears start falling down my face and it gets worse as the paramedics start getting hectic again. She needs to be shocked again, this time they do it three times until her heart starts beating again.
"Will she make it?", I somehow manage to stammer.
"I'm afraid this isn't looking good at all. But we are trying our best. You'd be better off not to watch", one of the guys answers with sympathy in his voice.
How could I look away, it's impossible, as much as the sight is killing me I can't look away. And it fucking scares me, this might be the last time I see her. No, I'm not even allowed to think this way, Sam is a fighter she's not giving up right now. I fucking pulled her out of a burning car and now she needs to fight her way back, there's no other option. I won't accept any other option.
After at least half an hour, they start taking her to the ambulance.
I run to the road to my dad's car. "Wait Jake, you can't drive in the state you are in, you are going to do the same mistake as Sam did."
"I fucking need to get to the hospital." My mind can't think about anything else but being there with her. Needing to get to her.
"I'll take you. I'm shook up too, but better off than you right now."
"What? With your bike, with this weather? You are going to get us killed."
"I had nothing else to come here, you know that. You wouldn't usually either. I presume that's your dad's car?" I nod. "Hand me the keys. You are not going behind the steering wheel, you are hardly able to stand. I swear, I'll take you there."
With no better choice I throw them over to him and we quickly enter the car. I see Evans is shaking too, but he's right he's in a better condition than I am. My phone rings again and again. Then I remember something. Fuck Emi!
Emi breaks down on the phone as I try to explain in short sentences what is going on.
"She knows Jake, she knows and she is going to hate us for forever for keeping it secret from her."
"At the moment I don't give a fucking damn if she knows, I just need her to survive, that's all that matters right now." And I'm damn serious about it.
Before I hang up, I quickly tell her what hospital we are heading.
"What does she know Jake? What does she know, that is possibly killing her right now?", Evans voice is angry and accusing. With every right!
I've kept all this bullshit too long to myself, even Emi and I only spoke one single time about it, right after it all happened. What I need right now is a friend, even if he hates me too after that. These lies have weighed too long and far too heavy on my chest, they are eating me, it's time to let go of them. Even if it might get my fucking dad into prison, it's not my fault. He did wrong in the first place. If Sam makes it, that's where he will probably end up anyway. I'm done paying his debts.
"Get me to the hospital and I'll explain everything to you."
A/N: My heart is breaking right now for Jake💔😭. Tell me your thoughts on this chapter.
As always, looking forward to your comments and please don't forget to hit the star button. You'll make my day by doing that!❤
Thinking of Grey's anatomy during this chapter