Beauties and Beasts

By LoweFantasy

322K 17.9K 2.9K

Neara and Shay looked to the future (read 'pastries') to forget their past, but are interrupted by being tran... More

Prologue
Chapter 1: brought to you by an overworked boob bearer
Chapter 2: brought to you by 'Wish-Fulfillment'
Chapter 3: brought to you by ammonia, the je ne sais quoi of pee
Chapter 4: brought to you by Aunt Flow
Chapter 5: brought to you by hot dogs, both processed and figurative
Chapter 6: brought to you by Sewing men, the sewers of us all
Chapter 7: brought to you by that one crazy all-natural peep you know
Chapter 8: brought to you by cheap Wet N Wild makeup
Chapter 9: brought to you by birdies giving the bird
Chapter 10: brought to you by angry sheep and a stick
Chapter 11: brought to you by #allthemuscles
Chapter 12: brought to you by a lack of dating
Chapter 13: brought to you by almost incest and edible sparklies
Chapter 14: brought to you by caffeine
Chapter 15: brought to you by a beefcake
Chapter 16: brought to you by snot
Chapter 17: brought to you by an inferiority complex
Chapter 18: brought to you by ophidiophobia
Chapter 19: brought to you by a doctor
Chapter 20: brought to you by dinosaurs!
Chapter 21: brought to you by a wanna-be ninja
Chapter 22: brought to you by the chocolate man
Chapter 23: brought to you by divorce
Chapter 25: brought to you by a chagrined sheep in a tiger's den
Chapter 26: brought to you by selfishness
Chapter 27: brought to you by Not-Chickens
Chapter 28: brought to you by Drama Kings
Chapter 29: brought to you by Orson Ramsey
Chapter 30: brought to you by writhing
Chapter 31: brought to you by Yogi Bear
Chapter 32: brought to you by fuzzy rides!
Chapter 33: brought to you by bunnies
Chapter 34: brought to you by happy drugs
Chapter 35: brought to you by fine print adultery
Chapter 36: brought to you by an angry toddler rolling on the floor
Chapter 37: brought to you by appetite
Chapter 38: brought to you by Prego
Chapter 39: brought to you by fairytales, lullabies, and cling wrap
Chapter 40: brought to you by eggs!
Chapter 41: brought to you by catering
Chapter 42: brought to you by creepy old men
Chapter 43: brought to you by bromance, the best kind of 'mance
Chapter 44: brought to you by manly contusions
Chapter 45: brought to you by a learn'n
Chapter 46: brought to you by Reading Rainbow
Chapter 47: brought to you by PHAT
Chapter 48: brought to you by Cat Fights!
Chapter 49: brought to you by babeh sneks
Chapter 50: brought to you by The Wolf and The Hare (who both lose)
Chapter 51: brought to you by the classical almost die
Chapter 52: brought to you by bad parenting
Chapter 53: brought to you by chicken poop on a bed
Baby Snake Name Reference
Chapter 54: brought to you by politics...yay
Chapter 55: brought to you by da feelz
Chapter 56: brought to you by cooties
Chapter 57: brought to you by armpit hair
Chapter 58: brought to you by the Masseur
Chapter 59: brought to you by Possessive Males
Chapter 60: brought to you by Plot Holes
Chapter 61: brought to you by Moses
Chapter 62: brought to you by, uh, brain farts...
Chapter 63: brought to you by boobs
Chapter 64: brought to you by stink
Chapter 65: brought to you by Daddy's Girl
Chapter 66: brought to you by Endangered Species
Chapter 67: brought to you by horsies
Chapter 68: brought to you by shepherds
Chapter 69: brought to you by travel logs
Chapter 70: brought to you by the muse that wouldn't shut up
Chapter 71: brought to you by daughter wars
Chapter 72: brought to you by...issues
Chapter 73: brought to you by club'n
Chapter 74: brought to you by a sprinkle of lies
Chapter 75: brought to you by moms
Chapter 76: brought to you by dem berries
Chapter 77: brought to you by Bunny Oden
Chapter 78: brought to you by shampoo, the best kind of poo
Chapter 79: brought to you by I shouldn't have sat down
Chapter 80: brought to you by bleeding hearts
Chapter 81: brought to you by THE studmuffin
Chapter 82: brought to you by single parenting
Chapter 83: brought to you by #disclaimer
Chapter 84: brought to you by the Shire
Chapter 85: brought to you by cravings
Chapter 86: brought to you by blurd
Chapter 87: brought to you by bread lessons
Chapter 88: brought to you by dandruff
Chapter 89: brought to you by chocolate-covered raisins (or is it rabbit poo?)
Chapter 90: brought to you by flashbacks
Chapter 91: brought to you by no beta, we die like men
Chapter 92: brought to you by falling off mountains
Chapter 93: brought to you by good-byes and BABY SNEKS
Chapter 94: brought to you by poor planning
Chapter 95: brought to you by #alltheroadtripsongs
Chapter 96: brought to you by umbrellas
Chapter 97: brought to you by baby blankets
Chapter 98: brought to you by the Master of Disguise--I lika da juice
Updated Baby Snake Guide!
Chapter 99: brought to you by healing cuteness
Chapter 100: brought to you by Tyndali--the co-writer
Chapter 101: brought to you by Dalmatians
Chapter 102: brought to you by the best makeup: DIRT!
Chapter 103: brought to you by mermaids
Chapter 104: brought to you by Winnie-the-Pooh
Chapter 105: brought to you by the prodigal son
Chapter 106: brought to you by a control freak
Chapter 107: brought to you by a bomb shelter
Chapter 108: brought to you by NCMO
Chapter 109: brought to you by the very very bad day
Chapter 110: brought to you by clay
Chapter 111: brought to you by love nests
Chapter 112: brought to you by balls
Chapter 113: brought to you by MINE!
Chapter 114: brought to you by bad guy
Chapter 115: brought to you by catharsis
Chapter 116: brought to you by a lack of communication
Chapter 117: brought to you by daddy love
Chapter 118: brought to you by Thanksgiving--so be grateful, fartknockers
Chapter 119: brought to you by first world problems
Chapter 120: brought to you by covid
Chapter 121: brought to you by an opportunistic cold
Chapter 122: brought to you by pretty people
Chapter 123: brought to you by the renaissance snake
Chapter 124: brought to you by the biggest ho
Chapter 125: brought to you by stupid little brothers
Chapter 126: brought to you by poor mental health
Chapter 127: brought to you by imperfect parents
Chapter 128: brought to you by MC Hammer
Chapter 129: brought to you by the scorpion's bride
Chapter 130: brought to you by a fed up sheep
Chapter 131: brought to you by a girl who needs her boy
Chapter 132: brought to you by a reluctance to clean
Chapter 133: brought to you by D-day
Chapter 134: brought to you by poke'mon battles--I mean, drama. Serious drama.
Chapter 135: brought to you by scorpion smashing time
Chapter 136: brought to you by wife tracking tattoos
Chapter 137: brought to you by blue-eyed bunnies
Chapter 138: brought to you by a fear of commitment
Chapter 139: brought to you by the talk
Chapter 140: brought to you by FINALLY!!!!!!
Chapter 141: brought to you by bedtime stories
Chapter 143: brought to you by therapy
Shay's Epilogue
Chapter 143: brought to you by dude friends
Chapter 144: brought to you by dude friends part 2
Chapter 145: brought to you by crushes on fictional characters
Chapter 146: brought to you by bread crumbs
Chapter 147: brought to you by plausible gayness
Chapter 148: brought to you by *gasp* possible modern convenience!
Chapter 149: brought to you by freaky fish men
I Painted Orson!
Chapter 150: brought to you by TYNDALI!!!
I Painted Asher!!

Chapter 24: brought to you by dirty laundry

2.7K 165 14
By LoweFantasy

A new chapter early since I was a day late updating the last two because I forgot. I have no excueses. Apologies. But now life's good in the hood, homeskillets. Fo shizzle! So, your program will continue after this message...

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After inserting yet a new cave-man style pad into her underwear, she lifted the scale necklace off her head, Curtis's thick strand of hair hefty as fishing wire against her fingers, and put its edge to her ankle. She had little time to brace herself for the cut, as no sooner had she even begun to press down than her flesh split, the pain so needle-thin it itched more than hurt.

A minute passed. Nothing happened, and Shay let out the breath she had been holding.

In a way, Shay was relieved when the detailed red snake on her ankle remained, a shade brighter than the blood trickling around the bump of her ankle.

Neara stared at the snake tattoo and could have sworn she saw the eye gleam when the scale touched it.

"Well," said Shay. "That didn't work."

The leopard queen, however, seemed to echo Shay's relief rather than Neara's fear.

"I knew you were a good female," she said with a gentle smile. "My son wouldn't have loved one who wasn't."

"But why is it still there?" asked Neara.

"If there is any love left for the male, it will remain."

Shay flinched. "Excuse me?"

Neara, eyes still riveted on her friend's ankle, said, "So... does that mean she loves him or something?"

"But I don't 'love' him. I mean, I don't hate the guy, but that doesn't mean I want to be married to him..." but she paused, thinking hard. Didn't someone say that to get a beast mark you had to have sex with them? But I didn't, he just bit me.

If marks can be given by biting and they don't know...probably shouldn't mention it now. Biting is a lot easier than...yeah, and we have enough problems as it is.

The leopard queen just continued to smile and gently patted Shay's head. "Everything will work out. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to terminate your pregnancy." She then reached for a rag in the bowl of water, wrung it out, and went to dab off the blood from Shay's ankle.

Just then, a leopard burst in, mouth full of a dinner plate-sized chunk of dripping honeycomb. The leopard leaned back and shifted into Parker, who then took the honeycomb from his grinning mouth.

Inwardly Shay winced. Eww, leopard saliva...but he's covered in stings, so I can't really scold him for that.

"Shay! I got your honey!" His eyes zipped to her ankle, where his mother tended the small wound. His expression lit up. "Did you cancel your spousal relationship with the snake?"

Neara averted her eyes and took the comb from him. She remembered Calvin's rage at the suggestion of cheating and while Parker was different... maybe he wasn't different enough.

Shay, however, had no concerns. "Won't come off. Guess I have to want to kill him or something."

"It doesn't have to be that extreme," said the leopard queen, somehow amused, handing Neara a stone plate and a flat, wooden knife. "Don't worry too much about the leopard spittle," she whispered.

Parker, however, froze. Everything in him seemed to droop. He looked down, his teeth once more clenched.

He's going to ruin his teeth like that, thought Shay. "Hey, Parker, why don't you put some of this honey on your welts? It will help fight off infec--"

Parker pivoted and dashed out of the room.

"...tions."

The leopard queen, gentle face flashing to a dark scowl, leaped to her feet and ran after him without a word. leaving Neara and Shay alone with a lot of honeycomb.

Shay, not exactly unknowing about what all that drama was about, patted the space in front of her on the bearskin rug. "Bring that honeycomb over and let me smash some cells. Such perfect order needs to be squished."

Neara gave an uncertain grin before doing so, setting the plate between them.

Shay took the knife and cut herself some honey-bloated honeycomb to chew on before proceeding to do just as she said, using the flat of the wooden knife to demolish the walls of the octagonal cells. Honey oozed out onto the plate. "I'm going to be so anemic after this," she muttered, wrapping an arm around her lower gut.

"Yeah, we probably shouldn't just drink or eat whatever funny stuff we're given before asking next time," said Neara. "So..."

"No, I'm not in love with a snake."

She let out a great whoosh of breath. "Good, because I don't know how I'll be able to visit if you have a giant snake guy around."

Shay flashed her a honey-goo grin that turned to a grimace. Then, a wobbly frown, curled bottom lip and all. Her eyes began to water.

"Neara...I don't want to be married yet..."

Instantly, Neara had her arms around her friend's neck, pulling her tight to shield her from the negative emotions.

The momentary quiet allowed them to make out the words of the leopard queen down the hall as she returned, slightly echoed by the stone walls.

"...spousal mark is like a seed, planted into a female by her spouse. It lets the male grow closer to her--to have a home, a place of purpose and meaning. Once the mark disappears the male will be like a tree without roots. It might look healthy and fine on the outside, but no matter where it goes, what soil it has, what nutrients it is given, it won't belong, and will eventually wither."

Her voice stopped just out of sight of the doorway. Neara pulled back, looking down to the floor, both girl's mouths in a small 'o.'

"Cub, don't push her. A female will never only have one male. That will be horrible for fertility, and deprive many of a purpose for living."

They stepped into the doorway, the queen pulling him in by the arm.

At the look on Parker's face, Shay felt her insides crumble. The tears she had been about to shed for herself finally leaked out for someone else. She would never want to share her spouse with anyone either. The very thought of it made her want to die.

The queen, spotting her tears first, dropped her mouth in alarm. "Oh! Does it hurt that badly?"

Shay shook her head, even as the tears grew faster. Parker looked up, then echoing his mother's alarm on seeing her tears. "No, no Shay, don't cry." He dropped to the floor, setting himself at her hip in order to wrap his tail about her. Somewhere in his run he'd managed to find some clothes, a brown, shaggy toga. He took her face and wiped at her dirt-crusted cheeks with his thumbs, smearing away the mud created by her tears.

For once, Shay let him. The honey-slathered wood-knife hung forgotten at her fingertips.

Neara touched her friend's arm, an understanding gleam in her gaze. She also gave Parker a pitying glance.

The queen, catching their sympathetic gazes to her son, puckered up her eyebrows in both sympathy, gratitude, and affection. "You've truly found a wonderful female, little cub. You may stay as long as you like." With that, she left.

Shay wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Crap, now it's streaming worse than ever."

"I can do that--"

"Don't you dare, Parker. It's embarrassing enough for you to see my snot let alone touch it."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," he said, swiping his thumb across her nose anyways and wiping it on his clothes. "You're sick. You can't help it."

Shay sighed. Too tired and sad to protest, she let her head fall against his shoulder like a dead thing.

Parker stiffened at her touch.

"I get it now," she said. "Why you guys act so crazy."

Though on cloud nine, Parker still had the mind to frown. "Crazy?"

"Why the beastmen here are so possessive," said Neara gently. "Don't worry, Shay, I can interpret."

Another watery sniff that sounded awful. "Thanks. I'm too tired and sore to think."

Brow puckered in confusion, Parker gently wrapped an arm around Shay, setting his palm atop her head. "What do you mean possessive? Do they not love females as much? That would explain why you two were so neglected by your parents."

Just then, Orson walked in, expression broadcasting that he had no idea why he was even there when there were more pressing things to be done. "You saw your friend, she's alive, are you going home now?" he asked Neara impatiently. "Since I'm the one escorting you I can't go back to work until you're back with your guardian."

Neara dropped the scale she'd been taking from Shay's hand, flustered. "Um... Parker could escort me if it's too much trouble. Do you think you could walk Shay?"

"I can carry her," said Parker before she could answer.

"Gal, at this point just make me a wheelchair," said Shay. "Because obviously females aren't supposed to walk much in this world." She stopped and quickly looked to a bemused Parker. "Not that I'm not grateful for your help, I'd really appreciate it since I don't have shoes, I was just hauled around by a snakeman all week and not allowed on my own and..."

Parker gave her a smile with the same softness she had recognized in Curtis's. The sight threw the temporarily vulnerable Shay for a loop, smashing out her thoughts. "Of course I know females need to play and roam," said Parker. "Don't worry, Shay, I know way more about taking care of females than some feral."

Neara gave Shay a thumbs up and mouthed "Nice save."

Orson watched this all with folded arms and a flat look. "Well now I have to escort you home," he said "Predators don't know the first thing about taking care of females."

Without any adieu, Parker scooped Shay up and followed after Neara and her disgruntled escort.

"So you got a house? Did I already ask that? I think I did." Shay asked.

"Yeah, but we didn't really talk about it. My...guardian bought it for me." She nervously looked at Parker. "It's stone, like everything else in this city. Two bedrooms, one big room. The bathroom's this big sandbox."

Shay snorted, which turned to a pained cough before she managed to squeeze out. "First thing to teach the kids: don't play treasure hunt in the sandbox."

Neara laughed. "Wow, it's so good to have you back...I missed you."

"Ditto, dude. Oh gal, and you actually understand what I just said, so I have to say it more-- ditto, dude, ditto, totes, pinata, anime, dime a dozen--" coughing once more broke her off.

"Maybe you shouldn't talk."

The coughing fit came on stronger than the previous ones. Several beastmen stared at Shay with obvious looks of pity as they passed through the hall and out the front gates. By the time it ended Shay had gone limp and flushed against Parker's shoulder, eyes closed, and her breaths coming out in small whines.

Poor Parker looked close to tears. "You...you really are sick," he said.

"No shit," said Orson, suddenly appearing at his shoulder. "What, you think she was just milking for more sympathy? Because being kidnapped and raped by a feral isn't enough? Now you're parading her through town because you literally don't know any better." He sighed and walked faster.

In a flash, Parker's face flushed with fury. "You're way over the line for a no-stripe plant-eater!"

Orson shot a withering glare at him. "I'm aware of what I am, no need to belt it out. Predators; always have to be the loudest and smelliest in the bunch."

"If I wasn't holding Shay--"

"You'd attack a doctor? A prey doctor? Really working on that third stripe, aren't you?"

"Shut up!" Parker's face had gone purple.

Shay slapped her hands over her ears in pain.

Beastmen passing by them on the packed-dirt streets turned to stare yet again at the noisy passersby.

Even in beast world, if you're going to air your dirty laundry for all to see, they're gonna see. Shay had a mind to start yanking ears and telling them to shut up herself, but only a raspy cough came out of her broken chords. Not to mention she'd need more time to build up the emotional calluses necessary to grab and mangle velvety cute cat ears.

Neara, however, had no such handicaps. She whirled him around, fists clenched and cheeks bright. "Shut the hell up, Orson. My friend is sick and her mate is trying to make sure she gets to my house safely. All you're doing is pissing everyone off by picking fights when, like you said, she literally got back from being kidnapped. She's sick and instead of being a good doctor, you're making it worse."

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