"You good?" He looked at me, as I took a moment, I bite my lip deeply. I had never killed anyone before, but this was the first man I had killed, I didn't have a choice, but Rick had helped, since he was a fully grown man after all. "I'll be fine." I wipe my tears, as I pull the knife out of his head, the blood splattered onto my arm, but I didn't care. "We should go back." I nodded, as he grabbed my hand. "Y/n.. I know that wasn't easy, but it'll get easier." He squeezed my hand, I just nod. "I know." I whisper, as I let go, I turn and I walk back towards the house. I felt physically sick, I just felt wrong. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I'd be haunted by this, I was so afraid to tell anyone, they'd think I was crazy. I sat down on the ground, just crying, shaking. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, I was a bit of a control freak about things. "Hey- shit. Y/n, hey. Hey, darlin' it's me." Negan had found me. Typical. He took my hands as I just tried to calm down, I tighten my grip on him, I wanted to be with someone else, it helped me. "Look at me. I'm here." He whispered, I look into his eyes as I started to breathe normally again, "What happened?" He frowned, "I killed a man. He tried to hurt me and I-" he just stopped me, he understood. "First kill is hard, baby doll. I know." My heart fluttered when he called me that, it made me feel all warm inside. "I'm here. Okay? Whenever you need me." He kissed my forehead, before he left me on my own, I stand up and I just went to lie down on the couch, hoping to get some sleep.
"Darlin', you awake?" I heard a voice, as I slowly open my eyes, I look up into Negan's and I look around. "What happened?" I rub my eyes as he held my hand. "I just came to check on you. Are you okay?" He smiled softly, as I lean forward and I kiss him, without thinking. He seemed a bit surprised. "Woah, easy kitten. I'm like, twice your age." He joked, but I wasn't joking, I had always had a crush on him. "Sorry." I frown, as I sat up slightly, he sighed. "Listen, y/n. I like you. I really like you, but I'm too old for you." He looked down at me, "I'll never snitch on you, daddy." I smirked, his eyes widen. "What did you just call me?" He seemed to find that amusing. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll just go." I stand up, when he grabbed my face and he kissed me, I kiss him back softly, before I pulled away. "I- what was that for?" I frown again, seriously confused.
"I guess you've got a hold on me."