How to Date an Asshole

Por AlanisKorali

503K 21.3K 2.3K

Like most people, Lauren had a big crush on a celebrity when she was a teenager. Unlike most people, she met... Más

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Epilogue

Chapter 19

8.2K 312 9
Por AlanisKorali

Chapter 19

We Facetimed Noelle while we ate lunch. Or brunch as the restaurant's name suggests.

"Look at what you're missing," I said jokingly, grabbing another bite of the sandwich.

She pouted. "Awe, I miss you, Laure. I miss New York."

"And New York misses you," Hailey interjected.

"Oh, hi, Hailey! How's Josh?"

"Why do people follow up How's Josh whenever they see me? Can't it just be the normal How are you?"

Noelle laughed, "It's because it's obvious you're doing great."

"Hey, Noelle, where's Xan? Show her." I demanded.

The camera moved to Xanthippe eating animal crackers.

"Hey, Xan! It's Aunt Lauren."

"Hello, Auntie Lauren!" her little voice cooed then she spun around in her pink tutus.

"Oh, we have a cute little ballerina in the family." She grinned widely as she held the animal crackers tightly in her hands. "You should've just come here with her Noelle!" I said, exasperated.

Noelle scoffed, the camera still on my niece. "Yeah and good luck with me running after a toddler in New York City."

I laughed, "That's true though. Don't worry, Xan, Auntie Lauren's gonna be over for Thanksgiving."

"Yay!" she threw the animal crackers like confetti.

"Yikes. Sorry, Noelle."

She flipped the camera back to her, "Yeah, you should be here to clean up after this."

"Ha, no, thank you. I've already done a lifetime of cleaning for you with every sleepover at Lola's and Grandad's."

Lola laughed, "Yes, I remember that. You and Charlie always had Lauren clean up after you."

"Well, in my and Charlie's defense, Lauren voluntarily did all that. I remember she was like 7 or 8, you know, the stage where kids are helpful until they suddenly stop?"

"Oh, yes, I remember being on that stage, but I left. Unlike Lauren, who continued the neat-freak show." Hailey sipped her soda.

"Alright, don't gang up on me." I laughed.

Noelle's eyes widened, "Oh my God..." her voice low, trailing to a singsong. "I gotta go now," she faced the camera, "I'm sorry I didn't come to New York with Lola because you know..." I nodded. "Lola, I'll see you when you come home, please get me one of those bagels. Take care, you guys. I love you."

"Awe, I love you too, Noelle," Lola said.

"What she said."

Noelle shook her head, "Alright, I'll see you at Thanksgiving, Laure."

I smiled, "Okay."

"Xan, don't climb that!" she shouted then the call dropped.

I exhaled deeply placing my phone on the table.

"Wow, kids, huh," Hailey said.

"Hailey, I'm pretty sure you'll be the first one, between the two of us, to have a kid. I'll be the Godmother, though."

"Yeah, well, your probability doesn't say anything."

Lola laughed, "You girls, it doesn't matter. Children are blessings. When I was your age, I already have your Mom and your Uncle. It was tough but they were the best thing that's happened to me."

"Alright, Lola, you know we're just kidding, right?" I said.

"Hay, I will never understand you and your generation."

Oh, likewise, Lola. Likewise.

* * *

We went to Times Square after lunch and visited several shops, shopping for Lola's pasalubong for everyone at home.

A dozen bagels for Noelle, a small I heart New York shirt for Xanthippe, twenty-something pieces of Peach Mango Pies from Jollibee, Statue of Liberty M&M's, and a ton of NYC snow globes from Macy's.

"Lola, what would you do with all the snow globes?"

"Lauren, I can give these to my friends before Christmas, they would appreciate it." She told me as if it was a no-brainer.

"Okay," I said then she continued to shop until Hailey and I dropped.

"Lola, these are so heavy, you'll have excess baggage at the airport tomorrow."

"Oh, it's nothing, I can pay for it."

"Right..." Hailey and I looked at each other, with our slumped arms, tired from carrying all her shopping bags.

"C'mon now, we don't have all day, we need to take these back to your apartment if we still want to recreate my New York photos from the 1970s."

"Wait, we're still doing that?"

"Lauren, I just said it. Sometimes I don't know how you're even my granddaughter." She walked ahead of us.

"Dude, she just artfully called you stupid." Hailey gibed.

"Shut up."

She just laughed at me. I ran towards my grandmother, "But we should've done that first and the shopping later." I said as I walk next to her.

"Lauren, it's already done. There's no use in thinking should-haves." She placed her hands on my shoulders, "All we can do now is drop these bags to your apartment and go from there, alright?"

I exhaled deeply, "Wait, were there pictures of you in Times Square? Because we can do it now."

"Oh, alright. Look at the photos." Hailey caught up and moved next to her to look through her 1970s photos on her phone.

Gorgeous. That's all I can say.

She had pictures at Times Square, Radio City Music Hall, the Flatiron building, the Arch in Washington Square Park. At the rooftop of the Empire State Building, Washington Street at Dumbo, Brooklyn overlooking the Manhattan bridge, and lastly, the Brooklyn bridge.

"Wow," Hailey commented.

"Grandad took those. Pretty, huh?" Lola said proudly.

"Definitely." I smiled at her. "But Lola, these are a lot. I mean, I don't wanna upset you, but I don't think we can take all of these tonight." I explained.

"Oh, I know that. We'll have tomorrow morning before my flight."

"Oh, okay, good. So, we just have to make the most of the location. Times Square first, then Radio City Music Hall... wait, let me see those again." She gave me her phone and I looked through her photos again. I looked at the location of each place, mapping it out in my head. "Wait, these are in order," I said, noting how the pictures are lined up. "You already organized these by location. You knew we'd go shopping first."

She just shrugged.

"Lola! Did you deliberately had us carry all your bags before we take pictures?"

She shrugged again, "It's fun."

"What?" Hailey and I said in unison with raised voices.

"Hey girls, remember who you're talking to." She warned.

I can't believe she'll still pull that card after doing this to us.

"Think of that as punishment for forgetting I'll come today. You think I don't know that you forgot about me? You didn't even pick me up from the airport, for God's sake! I organized those pictures when I got in a cab, you're lucky I still have your apartment's address." She added.

I lowered my head immediately in guilt.

"Okay, I guess we deserve that."

"We?" Hailey exclaimed, "You mean you? I can't believe I'm sharing the punishment when I was the one who actually reminded you that Lola will arrive today."

"Okay, ladies, stop," Lola said.

"But it's her fault!" 

"You're not in High School anymore. What are you, teenagers?"

That shut us up. We earned a few glances on the street. 2 grown-ass women being scolded by an elderly woman. Not that it's uncommon in the city but when you're part of the equation, it's a whole lot embarrassing.

"I'm sorry." I started.

"I'm sorry, too," Hailey added.

Lola nodded, "Alright, now get the bags, and let's take the pictures we can tonight."

Our night was spent taking photos of Lola then of each other and in twos, i.e., Lola and I, Hailey and I, and Lola and Hailey. We took photos at Times Square with all the billboards in the back. We walked to Radio City Music Hall then took a cab to the Flatiron building then to Washington Square Park.

"God, I felt like a tourist." I exhaled, pizza in hand.

We decided to eat dinner at Washington Square Park after taking photos by the arch. Lola thought what better way to end the night than to eat from a box of a good old-fashioned New York-style pizza.

"Don't make it sound so bad. I'm a tourist here now." Lola said, biting the end of her pizza slice.

"Did you blot? I'm still worried about your cholesterol."

"Yes, I did, Lauren." She said mockingly like a child.

"Just checking." I defended.

I looked in Hailey's direction, she was sipping on her applesauce cheer pack, "What? Stop judging!"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, talk to me like I don't know you. And for the record, applesauce tastes good with pizza." She bit on her pizza slice.

I just nodded, not wanting to make an argument about applesauce and pizza like pineapple and pizza. I still don't get it though. Pineapple and pizza.

I glanced at the arch; a couple was taking a picture in front of it. They took a selfie with a couple of cute poses then he kissed her straight in the mouth, while his arms are still extended with his phone. I'm pretty sure he's still taking a photo. She smiled against his lips playfully then they looked at his phone scanning for the photos.

I grunted, "They'll break up." Biting on the slice of pizza.

"Who?" Hailey said, her expression inquisitive.

I raised my brows towards to couple in front of the arch, now kissing each other sporadically. Hailey followed my direction.

"Oh." Her voice trailing, looking back at me. "You know, you're too bitter."

"I'm not!"

"You are! Lola, Lauren's bitter, don't you think?"

My gaze averted to Lola and her hesitant demeanor. "Oh, not you too."

"Well, you kind of are, apo." She said carefully.

"What? I'm not."

Hailey chuckled deeply, "You're funny."

"Whatever." I took another bite, looking back at the couple who are now laughing on the side of the arch.

We took the subway home. For a 73-year-old, my grandmother has a lot of energy. And here I am, in my 20s, suffering from a lot of back pain.

"So, will you be coming with us to Brooklyn tomorrow?" I asked Hailey as we walked towards my apartment.

"Of course! I'll even come with you to drop off Lola at the airport." She hugged Lola on the side.

"Oh!" Lola exclaimed in surprise. "You're too sweet, Hailey." She hugged her back properly. "I'm sure your grandma's smiling down at you."

Hailey hugged my Lola tighter, "I miss her so much." She looked at the ground, hiding the way she's tearing up.

"Oh, Hales." I joined in on their hug, facing my Lola's back. "It's alright, you have us," I said patting on Hailey's hair.

Grandma Fely passed away 3 years ago. Hailey was really close to her and she was devastated when her grandmother lost her long battle with leukemia.

We stayed like that for a while, making sure Hailey felt a little better.

"Why don't you sleep here for tonight?" I loosened my hug on them and Hailey started to let go of my grandmother.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight anyway, why not make it an official sleepover?"

She chuckled, wiping her tears away. "Sure. I'd love that. I'll just call Josh."

"Great, let's go inside?" I offered her a weak smile.

She nodded and my Lola rubbed on Hailey's shoulder for comfort.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

GLOSSARY:

Pasalubong - any gift or souvenir bought by travelers from their destination to people back home.

Apo - Grandchild

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