Flickering dim light. Pier outside the window covered in mist. The sea slept in dark.
Kristen's POV
I lay still in the dark, wide-awake. In such moment, I could feel the sweat covering my own body. I gazed at my arm in the moonlight. It was sparkling, so was my heart. My very own heart was overloaded with joy, the kind of joy that arose after passion and want subdued, the kind of joy like a brisk breeze.
...
"Let's go home, Dee, to my place. Gosh your face burns like fire."
"Okay."
"Don't worry, you've got me, okay?"
I dried her tears. I kissed her again, and let her lean on my side. We literally ran away. We were so scared and hurt, but at least we were together.
My apartment in LA was a cozy little home for me and my dog Lola. It had a great view: outside the window you can see the pier and sea in a distance, which is typically California.
"Lola, no, DON'T JUMP!" It was a scene to calm down your dog who hadn't seen you a whole day long. "Alright girl, I know you miss me but it's wrong to jump at people, okay? Yeah ... I understand baby cutie, but you still need to keep your manner ... Oh, and Dee, you're not afraid of dogs, are you?"
"No," Idina pouted her lips toward Lola and Lola looked at her with a tilted head. "She's so adorable! And Kristen you really talk to your dog?"
"Naturally. Every dog parent does by the way," I smirked proudly. "Now come on in. The heels are killing me."
"You've got a point," she let out a little laugh, kicked off her heels and followed me into the living room. Lola followed her closely, constantly making excited noises and wagging tail.
"She likes you. You can stroke her," I grimaced.
A genuine smile slowly appeared on Dee's face as she played with Lola. That's my happy girl, my heart whispered as Lola licked Dee's hand. God, I felt so much happiness just watching her.
Sensing my gaze, Dee turned to look at me with blushing cheeks and a shy smile. "What?" I laughed nervously. Her expression was making me self-conscious.
"Kristen" was all she said.
"Hmm-hmm?" I curled up next to her on the sofa and softly patted her back. "Feel better?"
"A bit," whispered Dee, resting her head on my shoulder. She's dozing off, I though, and it felt so good to be protective of this sweet, vulnerable angel.
"Sweetie you're tired," I sighed happily. "It's time for bed. You wanna shower?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Follow me, Dee, I'll show you to the bathroom," I stroked her cheek lovingly. "I'll get you PJs and that's your room," I pointed to the guest room. "Don't worry, I'll wait for you, okay?"
I got myself out of the red gown for Vanity Fair party when Dee was showering. After that I walked around the house aimlessly, with tired feet and a cloud around my heart. The house was extremely silent in the middle of the night except the sound of water flowing, and I believed I heard something different and the world was never the same.
I led Dee to her bedroom. "Do I need to tuck you in?" I smirked.
"I don't say no!" She said amused.
"Hmm-kay ... Nighty night girl, sleep tight."
Dee wrapped herself super tightly in blankets and sank deep into the pillow. I watched her. I began to leave the room. I placed my hand on the doorknob and started to draw it close to my retreating body. I suddenly felt very empty.
Then I heard a dreamy voice behind me, "Kris ... Stay with me."
"Stay with me, Kristen, if you please ..."
Idina's POV
I felt the tender hands on my skin. Then I was wrapped by the warmth of blankets. She started to leave and darkness began to close in on me.
Don't. Leave.
My heart kept screaming these two words despite my exhaustion and sleepiness, yet I made no sound.
Don't leave me alone, Kristen, just don't leave ... I found myself sobbing involuntarily, begging her not to go. But why was I even doing this, why should I want to rely on Kristen so dearly? Why should I want her? I couldn't help but wept into the blanket, feeling confused and angry at myself.
"Sure, Dee. I'm going nowhere. You need anything?"
"I don't know. Hold me, maybe."
"Kay," I felt her curling up next to me.
"Now I-I just wanna cry," I said with tears tickling down my cheeks again.
"Then cry. I'll hold you."
"It's so stupid and I don't even know why..." Fuck I was crying out loud.
"No, it's not. Don't be afraid," Kristen whispered, hugging me harder.
"I'm not, it's just ..." I gasped and tried to laugh a bit, but then a sudden wave of sad fervor rushed over me, pushing me to turn and press my lips against hers.
The overwhelming force took over me. I felt myself trembling again, but out of joy and longing.
"Dee ... You scared me!" The blonde woman panted. In silence, she gently kissed me back and before long, her gentleness turned into passion. I smiled at those baby blue eyes in a way even myself didn't know what it meant.
The night was dark, her cheeks in my palms. Lips pressed. Fingers tangled. Worlds merging.
Kristen's POV
I could not think. I could only feel. I felt Dee's fingers tickling down my cheeks, my chins, my neck and my shoulder. I felt my nightgown fall and myself exposed. I felt Dee's head laying across my bosom and I felt electrified.
Let the eyes fix. Let the body shiver. Let the veins be filled with lusty fire, yet we gazed in silence. I didn't dare let go of staring at those curling lips and Dee's gaze burned my skin. We gazed like we'd never truly looked at each other before.
"What are you looking at?"
"Your hair in the moonlight."
"Be quiet," Dee breathed out as I let out a small giggle. I suddenly felt self-conscious of the nakedness at my breast. The breeze was too cool for now.
Yet I lay speechless. Her head pressing in my chest made me almost unable to breathe, but I was also unable to let her go. Gulping for air, I was laughing, screaming; wildly with excitement, yet silently with tension. "Stay still," she demanded, panting, "let me feel your heartbeat."
Naturally my heart was beating fast. Dee pressed her beautiful face deeper and deeper, squeezing the very last air out of my bosom. Then she softened, her tender lips curled temptingly. A kiss on the spot where my heart beated most violently, too deep and too fierce, as if carving her very existence into my skin, making me scream with terror and unlimited joy.
And then she suddenly turned very quiet, like she was exhausted and couldn't move just one more inch. I looked down at her. Her eyes were tightly shut and lips twitching, as if savoring the dream we had together.
I leaned down, tasted the mysterious red lips in the dim light before dawn. I gave and took, savoring her essence, her feverish groaning, her agony and ecstasy. I drowned myself in the muse of afternoon, in the mid-summer flashing light and the mist on the pier.
Dee began to scream, clutching my wrists ever more tightly. "Faster, Kristen, FASTER!" And she suddenly let loose of me, lying on her back. We gazed and gazed, none of us spoke anything, but we knew our language. We knew the gift of fate falling onto us, or did we?
Silently, I let Dee take off the night gown lingering on my body and she whispered the order, "Here, Kristen, unbotton."
Then I completely lost track of time. All I could remember was Dee passing out in my arms, tears and sweat tickling down her ivory skin. I was crying out of control, and at the same time shaking with joy as I held her. I was crying and shivering the instant before this, and the instant our bodies mingled. Sweat and tears burned our skin, but we didn't care, because we'd become one.
Idina's POV
I lay still in the dark, wide-awake, heart pounding. Everything was quiet, but not the normal kind of silence. I counted my breath. It resonated with that of the person lying beside me. Our tangled limps loosened in our sleep.
...
It was almost dawn when my senses came back to me. My surroundings were still quiet and as soon as I unlocked my phone, there popped up dozens of missed calls and social media notifications from various sources. Taye called a couple more times during the night, but not much. And now maybe I should call back.
"Hello?"
"Hi, umm, it's me. I call in to check on Walker. You two were great last night, I guess?"
"Now you bother to call? Five in the morning? What a perfect timing!"
"Not like you're still sleeping," I cut him off coldly.
"Yeah, I'm trying to be as busy as Miss Dazeem. You didn't go home last night. I called your place."
"You don't need to be so sarcastic, and it's none of your business where I go," I snapped.
"Seriously, Idina, you know you're not the only person in the world?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's time to open your eyes and look around. And I am so very kind to do you a favor, that is, to spear you the toil of collecting information yourself, which, I've tried hard last night. Sadly I didn't get the chance."
My stomach twitched and I started to flounder, "Your call before the party, I answered it, in the dressing room. Wasn't of much use. And your second call, I let Kristen answer..."
"Yes, indeed. I do remember that. I was indeed very kind and sincere to call and congratulate you on your, your performance. Luckily, media and reviews thought the same as me. For instance one of them wrote, 'Oscars Being Just Like When Idina Menzel's in it: an Epic Disaster". Sure the comment section on YouTube will also do you good."
I didn't realize that tears had choked me, because I felt very numb. Pain screamed from a distance, making my heart sore. Before thinking of a decent reply I couldn't help but cried out, "You don't need to do this to me." My words fell apart, so did I. I am weak. I give in.
"Don't get me wrong, my only intention is to share the information kindly and truthfully, and I think that's useful in providing you the life lesson I had wanted to give: stop being so arrogant and self-centered. There's much you can't do..."
"So you called all those time just to tell me this? Then I-I know now, thank you," my sobs must have given him satisfaction but I couldn't care anymore. The phone was soon hung up but I kept crying into the pillow. A voice kept haunting, "There's much you can't do... Like you can't love."
Like I can't love.
That's the only explanation for the whys I'd screamed out for months. Otherwise there wouldn't be a sensible reason for why marriage, and people change.
And suddenly I realized a blonde beside me, her steady breathing being a sign of sweet dream. And I sensed my own nakedness. And I felt cold.
I covered myself with clothes and covered the hickeys and bruises. The sky turned brighter and Kristen started turning and tossing. At last she threw her arm across my chest and groaned dramatically, "Good morning Dee!!"
"Morning," I said quietly.
"Love ya!" Kristen opened her eyes and snuggled close, but her joyful expression suddenly turned to that of concern. "What's up, Dee? You've been crying?"
"Have I?"
She grabbed my phone, "And you're reading YouTube comment section. Come on, it's the last thing you get yourself for a good reason to cry! They're all bullshit. I'll tell you you're amazing and I love you! Look at me, Dee, I LOVE YOU."
"No, no, Kristen, I don't cry for that. I'm sorry."
"What?" She said confused.
"Sorry about last night. We -- I shouldn't... Look at yourself! What terrible thing I've done."
We sat speechless, and slowly Kristen wrapped herself with the blanket. She sat there, her expression becoming more and more desperate. But in the end there was only a sign and a chuckle. She said slowly, as if talking to herself, "Well, I thought -- I thought this could be the start, the real start."
"Sorry, Kristen. We can still be friends, if you want," my words of comfort were in vain. She let me hold her hand, but didn't give any reaction.
"So it all means nothing to you? Our summer together, those messages, and every word of flirting we said to each other? It all means nothing?"
"N-Yes. They are ... of no use for now. I would love you, Kristen, if I were able to, but..."
"But what?"
"Can't you see? It is this plain, Miss Clever. You are the beloved princes Anna, the rising star of Hollywood, the lovely blonde girl who spellbinds all who know her. But look at me, a divorced mom with a child, someone who's only capable of messing up, and I just received the gift called a bad reputation. Also think about our families, our fans, the public ... I was married to a man and you had boyfriends. If we get together, what will people think..."
"... of me?" Was what I instinctively wanted to way, but I stopped in time. How could I be so selfish?
"What will people think of you, Kristen? Any further engagement will leave nasty marks on both of us, but now it would only do greater harm to you. I-I wanna protect you, because I do care about you ... You have been precious to my life..." Tears started to fall again, "And it's just ... just the wrong timing..."
"There's nothing as wrong timing!" The blonde yelled out, "We can do this together, and fuck what others got to say. It's their fault to be homophobic and Dee, I can't live without you!"
"Then you'll have to. We both have to live without something. I'm sorry for the bothering. I'd better go."
How ironic it was, considering I already learned from my character Elsa that escape would only make things worse. But I couldn't find a way not to do this, like how I'd still leap even realizing it was abyss ahead. Now Kristen was murmuring something like "alright then, I'll wait till you change your mind", but few seconds after the door slammed behind me, I heard crying that cut me like a knife.
Now that I knew, all wasn't lost until this point.
N/A: I finally updated! Sorry for the looongg disappearance. I've been very busy with university and I don't think I'll be able to post much during the semester (like once a month? I don't know) TAT. I really appreciate your votes and comments and feel so happy if anyone likes this story lol. I'm not a very good writer but I like writing and will always learn & improve xo.