Your pov
As the car immediately disappeared into the fog, I stood shivering at the front door, as I feared that opening it would bring back horrible memories.
It would be rude to come in without even warning, but now I'm here, I can't retrace my steps right now.
I have to face my fears.
I rang the bell several times, but there were no answers. The silence was pissing me off, unbearable.
The door was open so I decided to open it up a bit and take a look inside.
My grandfather was sitting in the armchair, probably asleep, with his head tilted to the left. There were some leftovers on the table, they smell like a hundred years old.
He's breathing, he probably can't move anymore.
Should I wake him up? What have I come to do otherwise?
I approached him and caressed his cheek murmuring "grandpa".
He woke up with a start and made me back away:
"My darling, have you changed your clothes? You don't usually wear this crap. And what happened to the baby you were carrying? Is he dead? For the love of God! That psycho must have forced you to have an abortion!"
As soon as he finished this sentence, he stroked my stomach looking for a minimum of swelling, but there was nothing.
These words rushed into my soul like an extremely hot blade piercing my last crumbs of happiness and hope.
I fell to the cold floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. I decided to act like what seemed to be my mother to get more information about her past. But my grandfather didn't want to help.
"Look at your hips, I wish I could sink my fingers there one more time. There are no more wounds on your legs, but that does not mean that you are allowed to go out dressed like that, I have to punish you like I used to!"
Even my grandfather, he's a fucking piece of shit as well! Why? Why can't I live my childhood even though I'm late? Why? WHY DON'T THEY LET ME FORGIVE THEM? WHY?
I said the last words out loud, forcing him to slap me and throw himself on top of me. He tried to spread my legs with his knee, but I punched him full of all the anger I have held for years.
As soon as he took off, I got up to take the first effective weapon I saw, which was a thick, almost butcher's knife, resting on a cutting board.
"TELL ME WHY! WHY CAN'T I LIVE A NORMAL LIFE? WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THE OTHERS? WHY CAN'T I KNOW THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS? WHY? WHY WHY WHY?"
My voice trailed off with his last heavy heartbeat. My body was covered in dirty blood, so I went to the bathroom to peel my grandfather's blood, even though my clothes were still soaked with it.
As soon as I got out of the bathroom I looked in the opposite direction from where I came from. As soon as I saw the end of the corridor an idea popped into my mind.
There was a ruined door blocked by some bars. It had obviously caught my attention, so I thought I'd break it.
That little door hid my mother's room.
I recognized it was my mother's room from the photos that decorated the bright pink walls. The girl in the picture looked tremendously like me, so she must have been my mother.
Opposite the bed was a large bookcase. Intrigued, I went through each compartment to find a secret diary. I want to know my mother, I want to know why she died.
I couldn't find any personal diary, but at the top of the library was a book on the sidelines. I couldn't reach it because of my height. I need Hisoka now, but that dumbass ran off right away.
I stupidly decided to climb the library, in fact a pile of books fell on my head, making me fall, but with agility I shifted my weight on my legs to fall perfectly on my feet.
I looked up at the ceiling as if for help when another book fell on my head.
Crashing on my head, the book opened, creating a carpet of pages on the floor.
A nearly burnt page caught my attention, so I decided to grab it and read it:
Dear Silva Zoldyck...
It's been months since I last sent you a letter, years since we had a complete conversation.
I desperately need your help...
Did you know that my inane sibling bought a slave girl and fell in love with her, even marrying her?
It is unacceptable to a man who belongs to the nobility like him.
Guess what? He even got her pregnant!
I need you to kill her immediately, before the monster she carries in that dirty womb is born!
Please kill her as soon as possible, dear.
Oh, I almost forgot, kill my foolish sibling too, he betrayed the nobility, he can't be forgiven at all for doing this, thank you.
-Madame Isabella.
Zoldyck... Isabella... Bought...
My ears were ringing as the volume turned up, a hammer was hitting my temples with a deafening rhythm.
All this was unbearable, I couldn't handle all this cruelty.
I immediately ran out of the room trying to escape that nightmare, but I saw worse, my grandfather's corpse.
I screamed at the top of my voice releasing all the grief I was feeling in that instant, but I thought I needed to calm down and think coldly.
So my aunt asked Silva Zoldyck to kill my parents because my father betrayed the nobility by marrying and getting a slave girl pregnant? But I can't understand why I'm still here...Was Silva late?
I should ask Ilu if he knows him, that's the best thing to do.
Illumi's pov
Y/n is calling...
I am blocking her contact, she acts like a kid falling in love for the first time!
But how can I ignore her when she entered that house...
Illumi: "H-
Y/n: "Do you know who Silva Zoldyck is?"
I knew she'd find out...
Illumi: "He's my father... Your parents were killed by him, right?"
Y/n: "How... How do you know? Why did you let me in if you knew I would have gone crazy? Why have you been hiding it from me since you've met me?"
Illumi: "I've killed too many people to remember their faces, I don't remember your mother's. I'm sorry, but I remember killing your father"
Y/n: "Wait, what? Did you just-
Illumi: "Do you know what kind of childhood I went through?
Do you know what the relationship was like between me and Silva when I was a kid? So I'm kindly asking you to understand what my situation was there. Please. I don't want you to be mean to me.
I'm so sorry for killing your father, but that's the past, you have to face it".
Y/n: "Do you realize what you are saying? I can understand that you were forced by your father to kill mine, and I'm not at all mad at you for that, but how can you ask so easily to get over it?
AT LEAST YOUR FATHER IS STILL ALIVE! EVEN IF IT'S SHIT, YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! I WAS GROWN ON THE STREETS, I SLEEPED ON WASTE AND HAD NO ONE NEAR ME!
I AM NOT SAYING I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE, I AM SIMPLY ASKING YOU TO COMFORT ME! IS IT SO TRICKY TO UNDERSTAND? AND ALL YOU SAID IS "FACE IT"!"
...
...
illumi: "I'll be there in five"
Call ended.
Your pov
While I was waiting for Ilu to come here as if nothing had happened, I decided to change my clothes to those of my grandmother, as I can understand that she died a long time ago from her absence and the nasty smell in the house.
The only good thing I remember from my childhood is that she always hugged me when my aunt mistreated me, so we were beaten up together.
We were strong.
I opened the wardrobe to see an immensity of gothic and nineteenth-century dresses. She's probably been wearing the gothic ones since my mother has died. So I decided to choose one of them. It's wonderful and fits my waist perfectly. My grandmother was tiny because she was malnourished, so the dress is the same size as me.
Luckily, Ilu walked into the room as I had just finished changing, but I didn't have time to wipe the tears from my face.
Suddenly he hugged me, without any expression, without saying anything, just an awful hug. He didn't even pay attention to my amazing dress!
Illumi: "I'm sorry but I don't know how to hug and comfort someone, I was too serious and direct during the call, but my father stole the feelings from my soul".
The fact that a guy like him gave me a hug, even though it was horrible, makes that hug the most wonderful hug of all.
I chuckled at his awkwardness, then hugged him properly.
Illumi's pov
Y/n: "You can be the most professional thief in the universe, but you still can't steal the emotions from a person's heart. You too, deep in your heart, feel emotions. And this is one of them, albeit remote.
A silent hug is the best thing two friends can exchange"
Friends? Does she consider me a friend? I have been a horrible person to her, from now on I will only be friendlier and kinder to her, after all she needs at least an older brother since I cannot be a father.
Illumi: "Keep it secret"
Y/n: "What?"
Illumi: "Our friendship".