To my surprise, when I opened my eyes I wasn't in front of the ley lines.
Instead, I was in the high school. Immediately, my fists clenched by my sides. The visions and dreams I'd had in these hallways were a reminder of the sanity that wavered. Images of the perverse version of myself crawling from a locker infiltrated my thoughts. I swallowed thickly, fearing that I would see her again. Little bits of that dark part of myself seemed to have pushed their way forward into my consciousness. I thought of the pinpricks I felt against my skin and the way I'd made the hunter scream- how every time I used my abilities I felt powerful- and it was addicting.
My back was facing one of the large windows, the sun warming my back and lighting up the hallway before me. In front of me, in the middle of the hallway lit by the glow from the window, was Thomas Joy. He held out a russet brown hand littered with calluses, offering it with a small smile. When I put my hand in his, instant relief and calm filtered through my body. In the back of my mind, I still wondered if the darkness was here, but Thomas Joy exuded nothing but a strange purity- one that was untainted by the swirls of clouded power that followed me.
"It's good to see you again."
As much as I wanted to stay with Thomas in the light and in the warmth, I had to find the lines. I needed to find the tree.
"Thomas," my voice was shaky, "how... why are you here?"
His soft smile reminded me so much of Ben's that my breath caught in my throat. In a dreamscape that had riddled me with so much evil and pain, his presence was welcome. His smile was like Ben's but his eldest son modeled his powerful presence.
"My family," he replied, "you're here to help them. I'm here to help you."
"The tree," I told him breathlessly, before the warmth made me forget completely, "I need the tree."
Thomas' head cocked in confusion at the panic on my face. A realization crossed his face, and he looked around the hallway.
"Interesting. You see a tree in your dreamscape. I suppose every daemon is different in their connection to the lines. Yours is strong- perhaps you have more access to the center than I do." He noted the utter confusion on my face. Luckily, he was willing to give me answers. "You connected to my energy at the river. The energy I'd left behind. This landscape is how I've been trying to communicate with you. This is how I see the ley lines."
I looked around us. "The high school?"
He smiled at my remark. I remembered Ben telling me that his father had been a teacher at the school and I suppose it made some semblance of sense for this to be the landscape he pictured to connect to the ley lines. But if he did, where were they? And what did he mean by communicating with me? So, I asked him.
"The visions you've had here...that was me trying to reach you, but you resisted most of the time. Your own abilities overpowered mine. Some of the things you saw were your creation, not mine."
I thought of the terrifying dream I'd had of the twisted version of myself trying to crawl her way out of the locker. Then I thought of the peaceful vision I'd had of Tucker's mother and father surrounded by the loving chaos of their family. The one that made me know that Delia was alive. It wasn't hard to determine which one my mind had created. He'd been trying to help me- Thomas had- he'd been trying to help me fight back against the bits of my humanity that had chipped off when I'd killed Owein. And I was grateful for it.
He sensed the look on my face and his soft smile grew, understanding what I was thinking without me having to say it. His older son had mastered that too.
"My children don't deserve to pay for the sins of their parents," he told me, "and neither do you."
I swallowed. As he looked at me, I felt the darkness in me rise up again. Thomas' warmth and the kindness of his words wasn't enough to quell the energy that flowed through me. The familiar perceptive brown eyes noticed the shiver that wracked my body and he put a powerful hand on my shoulder. It was comforting- sure- but it didn't quiet the voices. I longed for a specific touch-
"I know you think, and your father's made you believe, that you need your tether to help you... to fix you," his voice was soft, "but you don't. You need not breathe in the energy. You are the energy. You are the lines. Expel the energy through your skin, remind yourself of your power, and don't be afraid of it. The things we fear have a way of controlling us-"
I did as he said, breathing deeply and imagining myself sighing out the thickening clouds of smoke that seemed to have formed in my belly. The energy that seemed trapped on my skin shrunk back, away from me, as I pushed it further away with my mind. It lingered inches above my skin but no longer did I feel it totally pushing down on me. The weight of Sophia's spell on my head dissipated slowly at first, then with a squeeze on the shoulder from Thomas, it was gone.
"You do not need anyone else to fix you," he reminded me gently, his words reminded me of what a father would say in comforting a child. Though, of course, I wouldn't really know that, would I? "It helps, however, for someone to share in your burden. Things become lighter."
I breathed out a small relieved laugh at having my head clear again. "I suppose the whole tether bond is just a perk, right? Falling in love with your son helped me carry the load, but daemons don't really need it?"
Thomas shook his head. "We're connected to all life, Lou. The bond helps lighten the load. We flip the coin between death and life, beauty and ugly, light and dark... but we can't handle that alone... nobody could. The tether helps you stop flipping, releases you from having to choose. Creates an equilibrium."
I nodded, the word 'balance' echoed in my head.
"The falling in love bit?" Thomas' eyes sparkled and a small laugh seemed to play on his lips as he looked at me, "that's not the tether."
"I- what?"
"The tether connects you to somebody who will help you. It could be a mother, a best friend, a brother, a father. The bond chooses the person who shares your strength, who loves the same way you do, and exhibits the same values. The falling in love bit... well, that's your own fault."
We were silent for a few moments, both of us staring at each other. I knew that in the waking world it was different. It was dangerous. I knew that when I left Tommy's dreamscape, I would face a terrible decision. I lost pieces of myself when I killed Owein- could I do it again? Would I have to? Could I ever return from killing my father?
Thomas smiled at me, knowing and sensing the plan that formed within my head. Our time together was limited. We both knew it. While I wanted to stay bathed in the wholly pure glow of warmth from Tucker's father, I had people who needed me. He understood.
"The lockers, right?" I guessed, "That's where I'll find the lines, won't I?"
Thomas smiled softly, looking so much like an older Tucker that I faltered a little. He nodded toward the nearest one, his eyes softening as he regarded it.
"The one you're looking for is right there," he explained.
My hand hesitated as I reached for it. "I'm not going to be strong enough for this, am I?"
His brown eyes held a strange sort of sadness in them as he shook his head. What my father had done over years of manipulation was too much for me to undo in the spare moments I had. Disappointment flooded though me and I wondered why Thomas had a sad smile on his face. He looked as if he knew something I didn't.
"We'll do it together," he told me, a familiar strength in his voice, "the energy that I have left on the ley line is yours. Use it. Help them."
My mouth fell ajar. I thought of his presence in my visions. The calming effect. Even the light and warmth I felt right now. After this, he would be gone. The father of the boys I loved so much. Gone. There had been parts of him lingering in the visions I'd had. Parts of him that warned me of what was coming. That helped me save his children.
"There has to be another way."
He smiled a little. "I can think of no better way to leave this world behind."
His words cut deep through me. This was the sacrifice that a father was supposed to make for his children. This was the kind of love that was pure and unrestrained. Thomas Joy did not have darkness surrounding him and when he grabbed my hand, I felt nothing but undiluted warm strength. Like sunshine.
It was power, but it was... different somehow. I didn't shrink away from it.
"I have more questions... your sons... I can't-"
"You've helped my boys more than I ever could. As for the questions," he grinned, "you're doing damn well on your own, kid. You might not feel like it, but you are."
My hand lifted to the locker once again, but he tugged it down for a moment. I already felt the firmness of his hand on mine dissipating. Growing weaker and weaker by the minute as he pushed his remaining energy into me. I turned to look at his face and the edges of him in the vision seemed to grow fuzzier, less in focus.
"I need you to promise me something."
His voice was growing quieter but the words he murmured next still rang loudly in my ears. The strength of them made my eyes water, and I had to choke back the tears that threatened to overflow. I felt his strength flowing into me and I felt more powerful, but there was a palpable feeling of loss thickening around my heart like a shield. He squeezed my hand one last time, prompting my response.
"I promise."
With that, I turned back to the locker door and ripped it open. The strength that Thomas had given me forced the door off of its hinges and I watched as it clattered loudly to the floor. When I turned to ask him about it, I found the space behind me was empty. He was gone. He had given everything left to help me save his family. To help me save my friends.
The way a father was supposed to.
I took a deep breath, taking a moment to miss his presence and letting the fact sink in that I had to have the strength for this- and, conversely, I needed the strength to resist the temptation of what I was about to do. I let the memory of my friends' faces flood my mind and propel my feet forward toward the darkness that the locker held.
There was no back to the locker, instead the emptiness stretched out before me like it had in the other visions but this time, something caught my eye. A line, dull and fraying, connected to the metal side. I took the line in my hands, a familiar humming in my ear (so faint that I thought I might have imagined it), and held the line up to my lips. I put everything I had and everything that Thomas had given me into my next words.
Johnathan's words echoed in my head. 'Only the strongest daemons.' Well, here I was and here goes nothing. The hum got louder the closer I brought the line to my face.
"Remember," I whispered.
________
Ugh. Poor Tommy ):
What are your thoughts? Predictions? Freak outs?
Thanks for reading!
Stay safe and be kind, my friends!