They say There must be a reason for everything.
And no matter what the reason is , you have to try and wrap your mind around it even if it's so hard to grasp.
Because if the reason is there clear and right in front of you , waiting for you to absorb it in, You have to accept it. So you can fully respond to it , not to regret later on realizing you should have taken an action back then.
"I'm sure something came up Bella " lilly says standing at the doorway.
"Yeah I know " I say softly.
"As much as I want to stay and know about last night's wild sleepover at his place but you should rest for now " she says comfortingly.
"Yeah I will " I saying knowing what else to say.
I said my goodbyes to Lilly and closed the door, she was the last person who left.
I walk back to my room and close the door behind me.
No matter what Marco and mom told me to raise my spirits , I just couldn't shake that bad feeling .
I was worried and I was a little scared.
I kept calling him non stop , even left him a bunch of voicemails after everyone left but there was no response.
I climb to bed and tried to sleep . I hoped everything was fine .. I just hoped I never did sleep.
I woke up the next morning drained . I immediately grabbed my phone from the nightstand to check if there was anything , but the zero notifications welcomed my face.
I sigh , got off the bed and went to the counter in the kitchen to drink some orange juice.
Marco entered the kitchen with a sleepy yawn "did you hear anything from him yet?"
"No " I sigh and sit in front of him.
"I'm sure everything is alright and he will call , don't stress out " he says and gives me a comforting pat on my back.
Time passed by so slowly and it was like torture . Words like' fine' or 'okay' frustrated me because I know that things aren't okay.
Around the evening I tried to keep myself busy and watched some horror movies .
But they didn't scare me. I was scared more of the possibilities that could have happened to him and they were running through my mind like enraged sea waves.
I didn't want to seem clingy or anything but , he could have at least sent me a message saying he's busy or that at least he's fine .
That's why I drove to his house.
I parked in front of his house and saw the same body guards who guarded the gates.
I got out of the car and approached them .
"Hi , is Arthur inside ?" I ask.
"No miss he's not here "
"Can you please tell him that I came by ?" I say desperately.
"Of course will do " he says formally.
While driving back I was confused even more than before.
I get back home . The silence welcomed me back as I sit on the couch not knowing what to do.
The door bell rang and I went to open it swiftly , thinking it was him.
"Tyler!" I say dazed and confused.
"Nice hoodie " he taunts and enters the house.
I clear my voice realizing that I was wearing the hoodie inside out and follow him after closing the door .
He sits on the couch and turn on the Tv , lowering the volume , like it was a radio with pictures.
I sit beside him and sigh.
"Did you hear from him?" He asks facing the Tv.
"No nothing"
We stay quite for awhile just aimlessly looking at the moving pictures in the Tv.
"I like you "
"A lot " he continues playing with the hem of his shirt.
I take a breath out and faced him.
"Tyler.."
"You don't have to say anything .. please just listen " he sighs and faces me.
"Remember when we used to play in Kate's office during the summer time .."
"I used to ditch my friends to be with you because it was so much fun .. when we played doctor and patient. I loved that I could save your life it made me feel like a hero.. well your hero " he chuckles and I join him.
He comes closer and caresses my cheek.
"We never did hide anything from each other there were no secrets between us "
"But there was one secret I kept from you back then "
"What was it?" I ask.
" you were the person I've always liked. I just thought keeping you by my side would be enough , but I was so wrong. I liked you to the extent that I wanted more. When I realized that someday someone can easily take you away , I wanted to take an action but that someday came sooner than I thought " he says and my heart was in deep sorrow.
"Tyler I'm sorry , but I don't want to lose you " I say and hold his hand that was caressing my cheek .
"You'll never lose me , you'll have to do better than this " he smiles.
He comes closer and gives me a kiss on my cheek "It will be a far far better thing that I do than I've ever done"
"Did you just say a quote from tale of two cities ?" I laugh .
"Wait I thought it was from great expectations" he says confused.
"I'm really glad that you came Ty." I say and hug him.
He hugs me back saying "well someone needed to make fun of you every once in awhile " I laugh and hit him on the back.
It's been five days since I saw Art now .
And since I got out of the house .
I was slowly getting back to my old routine , reading the letters and watching my favorite movies .
Planning what to expect next.
Cleaning the whole house more than once.
I even stopped cooking new meals , and depended on fast food.
And I hated that I wasn't doing okay , I hated that he's not here.
Lilly came by yesterday , and tried to cheer me up by going out but I turned her down , I wasn't in the mood and I just wanted to drown in my thoughts these days.
I put the blankets around me while watching the movie in the living room.
The doorbell rang. It must be the pizza guy.
I open the door revealing Lucas .
"Lucas ? What are you doing here?" I say surprised.
"Hi Bella I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to your birthday but something came up "he says expressing that he was sorry.
"Yeah it's really okay , Lilly told me " I say with a weak smile.
"I couldn't make it because of Art "
"Why? What happened ?"I ask eagerly.
"That day , park called me from the bar Art usually goes to , saying that he was so drunk that he was fighting with someone " Lucas explains.
"Oh my god , where is he now? I've been trying to reach him for days! "I say hurriedly.
"No one knows. He left park that day no one saw him afterwards. I came to inform you because I knew you'd be like this , and it's not his first time "
"First time?" I ask slightly shocked.
"Yeah he did it before in middle school but then he never told me what happened. He brushed it off saying that nothing was wrong" Lucas says in disbelief.
"Thank you Lucas you helped me a lot I was about to go crazy " I say in gratefulness , what he said helped a little, at least I wasn't alone experiencing his absence and finding it not acceptable.
"No problem I'll update you if anything happens "
"Okay thanks again" I smile and close the door.
I climbed back to my room and took out my blue pullover and black pants.
I let down my hair and grabbed my car keys and my coat.
I decided to go to aunt Kim's restaurant. I wanted to be at ease and I liked the smell and the vibe there .
Especially now during the holidays and Christmas , the restaurant is filled with merry lights and Christmas decorations and not to forget the big Christmas tree that was standing in the corner surrounded by mini presents.
There wasn't many customers only a man eating his noodles in peace.
I approach aunt Kim and she was so happy to see me that It felt nice.
"How are you ?" I ask.
"I'm fine dear , how have you been ?" She says.
"I-I'm okay I'm fine " I smile to her.
"Would you like some hot noodles to warm you up?"
"Yes please but I must come and help " I state and chuckle.
She guided me to the second floor.
The apartment was connected with the restaurant.
She told me to take off my shoes and put them outside and wear slippers before entering the house.
"Wow the design here is so unique " I say and observe my surroundings.
The roof was made of tiles, as for the supporting beams, the floors and fixtures were all made by wood, the walls and floors made by clay and rock and the windows and doors by paper.
It was Harmonious, unique, simple but full of style, moreover it was charming and eco-friendly.
Mainly the construction materials were wood.
"Thank you dear , The house is based on the Korean architecture. The positioning of the house is related to its surroundings, I wanted to make my house like the traditional Korean houses to feel like home , it's called Hanok" she smiles and shows me the house proudly.
After the tour aunt Kim's gave me We headed to the kitchen. I tied my hair up and wore the apron I missed this , I missed cooking .
She boils the water in the pot and got the noodles out of the packet , it was like the one Art and I ate .. wait it was ramen !
"Aunt Kim is that ramen?" I ask emphasizing on ramen.
"Yeah have you tried it before ?"she replies.
"Yeah .. I did " I say and blush remembering my night with Art .
"What's wrong ? your face is like a tomato dear "she giggles.
"Oh no it's nothing " i say awkwardly.
"Did Arthur tell you that ramen can only be eaten when a couple want to spend a romantic night together ?" She says laughing .
"Wha- how did you know ?" I ask timidly.
"Back in the days , when Suzy and William wanted to spend time alone , they'd always say they will go and eat ramen "
"So Art understood that ramen was the secret word you say when you want to invite your loved one to spend a romantic night. Such a brat " she chuckles .
"It can be eaten anytime you want bella " she confirms .
"He fooled me .. wait a minute Suzy also played along !" I say gathering the pieces.
"Like mother like son, Arthur is like suzy in every way " she smiles while stirring the noodles.
"Yeah I can see that " I admit.
"So don't you want to talk about why are you alone and Arthur is not here?"she asks tasting the soup.
"I don't know where he is , it's been five days since I saw him" i say crestfallen.
"When he came with lee last time, I tried to ask but he didn't tell me and just assured me that he's okay, but I know it must be important if he's gone for-awhile , just be patient bella. He will come around and when he does please knock some sense in him because it's not acceptable to worry his pretty girlfriend " she says as she finished the noodles and serves it in a tray for me .
"I know that it's not his first time "I say terrified.
"Yes he did it before , but he came back saying that he was okay he only needed to be by himself " she admits.
I take a breath out and say" I'll make sure to teach him a lesson for giving me a hard time " earning a laugh from aunt Kim as she agreed with me.
We get out of the kitchen and sit on the ground and put the tray on the rounded table .
As I was about to eat The sliding door opened revealing lee.
"Lee!" I exclaim gleefully.
"Lee shoes off !" Aunt Kim scolds as he huffs saying sorry and goes back and takes off his shoes.
" I'll go now and get Lee's dinner ready , you two enjoy " she says getting up and entering the kitchen again.
"Bella !" He smiles enthusiastically and runs to me like the little kid he is.
"What brings you here?" He asks with glittery eyes.
"Oh you know im collaborating with your aunt on a new Korean/Italian meal " I say trying to sound like I was a famous person.
"Oh well you know that I've been getting free Korean meals for the past five days so it's time for a change " he says acting conceitedly.
"You little !" I laugh and mess his hair.
" that means you've been staying here for awhile?" I ask curiously.
"Yeah , such a good brother he is throwing me here "
"Hey , you don't like it? Then give up all the free meals then" I challenge .
"No I like it , but it feels like the Goryeo dynasty here "he sighs.
"Not following you here lee" I frown.
"You don't know the Goryeo dynasty?"he gasps.
"No?" I chuckle embarrassed.
"Well lucky you , they used to wear these awful hanboks and everything was so traditional just like the atmosphere here , wait I'll show you a picture of the hanbok "
He says opening his phone and searches through google.
"Oh wow ..but it seems okay though kinda unique " I say.
"Imagine wearing this on occasions in front of your friends and family would it still be nice?"
"Okay I get your point " I laugh .
"Mom make us wear it every year " he sighs.
"Well it must be about the Korean heritage " I say understanding .
"Yeah I know , even Arthur himself can't say no. I'll show you a photo but don't tell him that I showed you this " he warns and I promise not to.
"Oh my god he looks like a prince " I smile and my heart ached.
"Oh lee look at you too!" I chuckle.
"Very funny bella " he says rolling his eyes.
I enjoyed my time there , it was the remedy I needed . I should have gone sooner , the environment , lee and aunt Kim are what I needed to recharge again , ignoring the fact that it made me miss Art more. I tried to focus on the good feeling that was illuminating the place caused by lee and his aunt .
While I was driving near my house , I saw someone sitting on the stairs in front of the door , I stopped the car suddenly looking at him closely.
It was him , he was wearing his a black hoodie with black sweatpants and a coat on.
His hair was on his forehead and he looked tired.
I speedily parked the car and ran to him.
He sees me and stands up abruptly but stays in his place not moving an inch. I forced myself to also stay in my place though I don't want to hear any explanation and be beside him. I had to show him that I was angry.
"Where have you been Arthur ?" I say in anger ignoring the lump that was in my throat.
"Away " he says not leaving my eyes.
"Away where? Where have you been for the past five days !" I exclaim wanting to understand what happened.
"And why didn't you come that day? Marco told me he mentioned to you that they will be having a party for my birthday " I state.
"I forgot " he says never blinking while still looking at me with a sad smile.
"Okay but Don't disappear like that! I know that it's hard for you because you forget a lot but don't you ever try to make me forget you " I say my voice cracking at the end.
"That's not what I'm doing I never wanted that.. but it's not you whom I'm afraid of
It's me.. I'm afraid that I'll forget you " he says raising his voice a bit at the end, and it pained me to hear him and see him like that, I just wanted to hug him.
"You can't be my someday girl bella I don't want to see your face when I uncontrollably let that happen .." he continues and I let out my tears that were pleading for me to release them.
"W-what do you mean?"
"I - I saw your dad 5 years ago " he says taking a step closer to me.
"I'm sorry " he says emotionless , his face was like the ice snow so cold.
"No.." I say ignoring him.
"I was the one who've been writing you these letters and I found out five days ago " he says walking towards me.
" this is your last letter "