i made a new Ariana and Sean video its at the top of this chapter :)
-Ariana's POV-
When my eyes flutter open in the morning my whole body is aching. I can remember last night well and Im kinda nervous to talk to Sean later. I know I haft to but its still nerve wracking... I just dont know why..
What I do know tho is that he is currently holding me tight in his arms at my request last night. He came over here last night not knowing if I even wanted to see him or if my family would even allow him to see me. There is no question if he loves me or not. That is pretty obvious by now. Its just a lot of things that scares me about «going serious» with him. Im going on tour and thats not going to be easy and I travel a lot. That takes a lot on a relationship. And from previous experience I know how messy a relationship can get when one is on tour.
I guess we just haft to talk about everything and I need to get over it but its not easy.
«You okay?» comes from Sean behind me. Getting up I say «i dont know. But I guess I will be» and quickly walk into the bathroom looking the door behind me.
«Ariana» Sean says from right outside the door «stop keeping it all inside you. I can help you»
«Im going to take a shower Sean» trying to get him off my back I'm really dreading this talk.
He sighs «just keep the door unlocked just in case I want to be able to get to you quick»
Doing as he said I get in the shower and let the warm water flow down my body. Washing all the dried tears from my face. This is not going to be an enjoy full day. I know what I haft to do, I haft to act like everything is fine. The last thing I want is the media to catch onto all the things going on right now.
What I really fear with this talk later Is that it will turn into a fight rather than a talk. Im going to NYC tomorrow morning and staying there over thanksgiving so being in a fight with Sean is something I really dont want.
Getting out of the shower I wrap a towel around my body and walk back into my bedroom. Sean is laying fully dressed on my bed up agaings the head board, and looks up at me when he hears me coming out of the bathroom. He smiles lightly at me before coming up to me wrapping me in a tight embrace.
My plan for today was to stay distant from him until tonight so we can talk but thats not going to be as easy as I trough it would be. I just stand there wile he holds me for a second «i need to get dressed» so he lets me go but keeps his eyes glued to me.
Walking over to my dresser where my outfit for my performance is waiting for me I drop the towel leaving me naked. The top is a bra and the bottom is too tight for underwear if I wore it would show so I just put it on. Grabbing my phone and heals I walk downstairs with Sean still following close behind. Dalina and Daniel is downstairs ready to do my hair and makeup for the performance so I just sit down and let them do their thing.
My mind is blank.
I dont want to think.
I dont want to speak.
Im staring Into a blank space.
(A/N blank space.. See what I did there)
All I want to do is get this performance over with and get back home.
** Hours Later **
Cause you're the best mistake I've ever made
But we hold on, hold on
There's no pot of gold in the rainbows we chase
But we hold on, hold on
Sean grabs my hand lightly
You're, you're, you're, you're...
Mmm, I'll be savin' my love for you, for you
As we sing the last note and the song starts to fade out we walk hand in hand backstage. I even kiss his cheek as Ive seen he seems kinda hurt by how distant I've been today. As soon as we get backstage I let go of his hand and step a couple steps away from him.
Jones and Zeno who neither know that something is up suggest that they take some pics of me and Sean together. We take some kinda sexy pics and I can sense Sean Is really happy that I'm giving him some affection. I feel so bad in a way! Im a horrible girlfriend! Ugh.. I just cant..
So as soon as possible I leave the venue and head straight home. I left with my crew but Sean was taking with someone and was supposed to leave with Zeno anyway so I didn't tell Sean directly that we left. I told Zeno. Regardless I know Sean is probably going to stop by on his way home. He knows I'm leaving tomorrow and he really wants to talk. I just dont know if I'm ready, I've never done this before. In the past whenever I had problems with a boy we just ended it. We never talked it out as we never saw the point.
When I get home they all ask me why I'm acting so weird but I just say «no reason» and walks quickly to my room. Changing I put on some underwear, a tank top, yoga pants and some fluffy socks. My hair I pull up in a tight ponytail and I also take of all my makeup.
Since I'm leaving tomorrow I finish packing what I'm bringing. After thanksgiving I'm going straight to London for the VS fashion show so I won't be back here until after that. So that means I need to get everything with me now and not forget anything.
As I zip up the last of my manny suitcases someone knocks lightly on my bedroom door before coming in «honey Sean is downstairs asking for you» its my mom.
Now I know I can't avoid it anymore. This is something I gotta face. I cant keep hiding it all anymore we really need to talk about everything. Everything that bothers the both of us. Its needed for us to move forwards.
Getting up from the floor where I'm sitting I take a deep breath before walking downstairs. Seeing my mom disappear into the kitchen I walk towards the entrance. There he is standing charming like always, but this time he is looking nervous. Like he is scared in a way. Then there is two of us. Im scared as well.
I stop a couple steps in from of him leaving room between us. «Ariana. We need to talk»
Nodding slightly I say «i know we do. We really do.»
_______________-
This chapter is a little shorter than the last one I know but I was really certain on the way I wanted to end this chapter so it just needed to be a little shorter. Imma start writing the next chapter now tho so I will try have it out probably tomorrow sometime. Im currently not at school these days so I have time to write.
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