"You've got everything right? His formula? His diapers?" Louis asks. Zayn had come over to his house to get their son for his weekend visit.
"Yep, all here," Zayn replies. Louis hands over Freddie to him. He seems hesitant too and Zayn can't blame him, it's going to be Freddie's first time staying away from Louis for this long.
"Call me if anything goes wrong," He says.
"I will," Zayn assures. "Don't worry, he's safe with me."
"I know. I-it's just-"
"I get it. I'll call you every second to keep your mind at ease,"
"I'm grateful I'm getting a break, I truly am. I just feel he'd have a hard time adapting at a new environment," he says. Zayn can already feel what he means by that. "Please take care of him Zayn and be attentive."
"Of course I will," Zayn says.
"Let me say goodbye to him one more time," Louis says. Zayn sighs internally, handing over Freddie to his ex-husband for what feels like the fifth time. Louis hugs and kisses him, causing him to giggle. "Bye baby, I'll miss you."
Zayn collects Freddie from him feeling like Louis was going to change his mind soon if he held on any longer. "He'll miss you too. Now, I gotta go for real. My drivers been waiting."
"Bye Zayn..." Louis says.
Zayn waves at him one last time and heads to his car. He puts Freddie in the baby car seat he installed just for him and sits down next to him.
"You're gonna meet Harry today," Zayn speaks to his son like he could understand him. "You'd love him, he's just the sweetest."
Freddie babbles on his own, trying to grab at Zayn's finger. Zayn coos at his own son, wondering where he got his adorableness from. Certainly not from him, maybe he got it from Louis.
When he gets home, he brings out Freddie from his car sitter and holds him in his arms, using his other hand to hold his bag. He walks inside his house.
The house is suspiciously quiet so he calls out Harry's name. He doesn't get a response, but he finds a note in Harry's handwriting.
Going to visit gemma, will be back tomorrow .
"Couldn't he have waited till we got back? I really wanted him to meet you," Zayn sighs in disappointment.
It feels like Harry is purposely avoiding meeting his son, and it hurts him. He wants nothing more than his two favorite people to get along with each other, but Harry seems to want the opposite of that. It makes Zayn worried that he'd have to choose someday, and he can't do that. This weekend is the only chance he has to prevent that from happening.
"Want to watch a movie with daddy?" Zayn asks his son who's been quiet. Freddie looks up at him, but his eyes look drowsy. He's probably sleepy, Louis did mention this he gets sleepy after a car ride. It's one of the ways Louis gets him to sleep, he just drives around to pet him to sleep. It's odd to Zayn that he can sleep for more than three times a day, but if he didn't have a job or couldn't walk, zayn would probably do the same too.
"This crib belongs to your brother. He doesn't have a name yet because Harry's being indecisive," Zayn says. "You can use it for now, while I build your own room. You know, you're lucky you came first."
"I already know what you like. Well sorta, so your room would be custom to your tastes, isn't that great, Freddie?" Zayn turns to look at his son who's now in the crib. His eyes are closed, he's fallen completely asleep. "Well, that was fast. I guess you were pretty tired."
Zayn sits on the floor in the nursery, watching his son sleep. He doesn't want to leave the room yet, he hasn't installed the baby monitor and he doesn't want Freddie to wake up crying alone.
He brings out his phone to text Harry instead. He takes a picture of Freddie sleeping in the crib. The picture comes out good so he decides to send it to Louis and Harry.
Louis: so adorable. look how tired he looks, I knew the car ride was gonna knock him out
Louis: any trouble?
Zayn: nah, he passed out like a light soon as I got home. He's perfectly behaved
He gets another text message from Harry so he opens it.
Harry: cute
Harry: why is he in that crib though?
Zayn: because he was sleepy and the crib is functional
Harry: k.
Zayn: do you actually have a problem with that?
Harry doesn't reply, which confirms Zayn's suspicion. He frowns, he knew Harry was still a bit weird about Freddie but for him to act like this? It's surprising. He decides that he's going to have a serious talk with Harry when he gets back. They can't go on like this.
...
Zayn was exhausted, Freddie stayed awake all night. After he woke up from his evening nap, Zayn had fed him, he seemed to be uneasy with his new environment. He didn't play as much as Zayn knows he can, he just wanted to be carried by Zayn all through.
When it was time to put him to bed, he cried all through. Zayn couldn't place him in the crib without him bawling his eyes out. So Zayn tried to pet him to sleep by rocking him first but it didn't work, he just started to get playful. Zayn had to keep him entertained and before he knew it, it was already morning.
Now Freddie is finally asleep while Zayn is exhausted. Thankfully it's a weekend so he can sleep in, he checks his phone to see he has some messages. They're from Louis, Harry still hasn't replied to him yet.
Louis: how's it going?
Zayn: he kept me up all night. He just wanted to play but he's asleep now
Louis: probably because you let him nap for too long in the day.
Zayn: you're right. I won't let that happen next time
Zayn: how are you doing? Does it feel lonely without him?
Louis: a bit. Why are you asking?
Zayn: just having convo
Louis: why?
Zayn: we're co-parents, we're meant to be friendly with each other
Louis: Zayn, you said the only reason why we have a relationship is because of Freddie and I meant nothing to you
Zayn: I didn't mean that, you know I was angry I would have said anything. Did it actually upset you?
Louis: I cried about that for weeks.
Zayn: what? Louis, I swear I didn't mean it. I care about you a lot, I'm so sorry I said that to you.
Louis: I felt like you hated me
Zayn: I would never hate you, no matter what. I promise. I shouldn't have said that to you, you just had a baby. I was an asshole
Louis: it's okay Zayn. I think while we're on the matter I should apologize for not letting you take him till now
Louis: after I had Freddie and I brought him home with me, I should've been happy but I wasn't. I had postpartum depression. I felt lonely and I didn't let you take him because I was scared that you'd take him away from me and I'll have no one
Zayn: Louis, wow. I had no idea you were going through that. I'm sorry you went through that alone, you should have told me. I'll never take Freddie away from you
Louis: there was nothing you could've done about it. That was after we just got divorced, I was scared you would think I was trying to manipulate you
Zayn feels a pang in his chest reading that message knowing that Louis is right. If he had told Zayn that he was depressed and lonely then, Zayn would have thought Louis was just trying to manipulate him into staying with him. He feels guilty.
Louis was going through all this alone, and Zayn had made it worse by yelling at him and telling him that he means nothing to him. Why did he even do that? He tries to recall that day, he remembers feeling so angry, but what triggered that? Louis had just hired a new nanny that was attractive. Zayn had felt that Louis liked him so he lashed out.
But why would he even lash out? Was he jealous? No, it was something more than that. He hated the thought of Louis moving on, he wanted to see him miserable, and the fact that Louis had actually been miserable just makes him feel worse.
He is such a bad person.
Zayn: I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. I want to make things right. Can I talk to you in person when I bring Freddie back?
Louis: Zayn I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't think there's anything you could say that can change things
Zayn: I know I can't change who I was in the past. But just give me a chance to make things better
Louis: alright Zayn.
Louis: I've been meaning to ask, how is Harry like towards Freddie?
Zayn starts to think. He doesn't know if he should tell Louis that Harry's been a bit unwelcoming or not. He shakes his head, that's a terrible idea. Louis would never let Freddie come over again if he knew that. And he knows it's a bit far-fetched but he also hopes that Louis and Harry could get along, and if Louis knew that he would just hate Harry more.
Zayn: he loves him
Louis: oh okay, that's a relief. I was worried he would act hostile around him
Zayn feels a bit bad that he basically just lied, but he's sure if Harry just takes the time to get to know Freddie he would love him.
Like his mind is being read, he heard the sound of the front door opening. He can hear familiar footsteps that already tell him that it's Harry that just walked in.
He walks over to go welcome his boyfriend.
..
okay but now who feels bad for Louis?
split the chapter into two so sorry this is short. 30 comments for the next one. Will still update regardless tho so no need to spam, it just makes it faster. Stay safe guys love you all