Isaiah woke up early so he could avoid Chad. After what happened last night, Isaiah again needed time to think. He wanted to calm his heart out, and wanted this sorted out as soon as possible. Chad on his mind is like an incurable disease, and it goddamn frustrated him to such extent that he wanted to smash his head against the nearest wall.
He event went as far as dreaming him, and in his dream, they were having fun together, holding hands. If that didn't confirm that he had feelings for his brother, Satan would be happy to pass him the throne because that was such a fucking great lie. But as he thought of it, he thought that this could just be a phase. Maybe he was just confused because he hadn't gotten an action from a long time. Isaiah didn't mean the sex, but an emotional affection from girls.
Still, he would like to continue with his plan to hang out with Jean and ask for her help. Isaiah knew he was taking a big risk because, what if Jean told everyone about this? But somehow, he had faith in her. He knew Jean would help him. Jean wasn't the type of person to gossip; she's great and honest. She needed to quit being a cheerleader because doctors found an issue with her hips, and it'd be best if she would stop cheerleading. At least temporarily.
Bill was just as early, and he saw Isaiah walking to the door. Isaiah was quite shocked to see his father awake at this hour, but he just shrugged it off. The old man couldn't sleep properly, he guessed. Isaiah told Bill that he needed to be early at school as he needed to do something, and Isaiah tasted the lie on his tongue. He hated lying. He didn't have anything important to do at school; he was just avoiding Chad as much as possible because he wanted to clarify his feelings for him. It wasn't a brotherly affection, it was something more. Bill told him he was going to tell Chad he took off, and somehow, he felt guilty. Guilty for lying, and guilty for avoiding Chad. He was supposed to take him to school every day. Chad was supposed to take the passenger seat, but because of the dilemma he was in, he couldn't. He was doing this for the best.
When Isaiah arrived at school, there weren't many students. After all, it was still early. Students would pile up in an hour and a half from now, and Isaiah knew they were going to be running across the hall, trying to catch up to their respective glasses. It always happens every single day. Isaiah already knew and used to how things run in the school, and he wasn't shocked to see people getting tripped as they go through the pile of students standing foolishly in the middle of the hallway.
When classes had started, Isaiah's mind was somewhere. He was thinking about how his approach to Jean would be. Jean already agreed that they were going to hangout, and Isaiah was thinking if he could bring her to his house. But Sarah, his dad, and Chad might have an idea that they were dating, and that's what he was also trying to avoid. It wouldn't be nice as well if he went to Jean's house instead because it would seem like they were going to have sex, and he didn't want that right now.
Isaiah was called out a few times by the teachers, but he didn't care. He was thinking of something more important than his academic. It was dumb, but he only thought that he'd have a lot of time for that later. He could review, read books, and catch up. That's what he does sometimes, anyway. Whenever he misses a lecture or topic, he would read it on a textbook and make sure to understand it. Isaiah could do that again and again.
Right now, he would like focus at his sexuality.
He also needed to talk to Jean about it.
Jean was in one of his classes, and Isaiah made sure to take a seat beside her. They talked a few times about their plans to hangout, but Isaiah occasionally threw the words "as friends" so she wouldn't get the idea. Of course, Isaiah was basically luring her out so they could really indeed become friends and hopefully, get his plan started. Jean agreed at the idea; they would go to Starbucks and start "hanging out". Starbucks seemed a nice place to catch up on, but it wasn't a good place to discuss what needed to be discussed. Isaiah would just use to get a start on.
As the lunch bell rang, both Isaiah and Jean came to the cafeteria together. Jean was telling Isaiah about his friends who made stupid decisions when they were at a public pool, and somehow, guards were called on them. They were temporarily banned at that place, and Isaiah knew how relaxing to be with Jean was. She wasn't being plastic, she was being genuine. And as they got through the crowd, Jean saw her cheerleading girls' squad and all of them hugged her.
Tarra, one of the members of the cheerleading team, eyed Jean and Isaiah, and she instantly knew there was something going on between them. Tarra somehow thought that these two must be dating, and it was interesting because Isaiah wasn't into the dating game after that "stealing girlfriend" stunt he pulled. She also knew Isaiah wasn't a playboy, but she was worried for Jean because, well, Isaiah couldn't be trusted. But Tarra knew Jean was a smart girl, and she wouldn't let her heart get broken by a man who does not deserve her love. But as a friend, of course, it's normal to feel these things. She cared for her friend, and she certainly wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her friend. Otherwise, she'd make sure Isaiah would pay.
When they reached their table, Kyle greeted them with a huge grin. Jean took a seat beside Isaiah. Introduction was needed as Jean was widely-known. If a student is part of a basketball team, cheerleading, volleyball, or even football, guaranteed everyone would know you.
"Are you guys dating already?" Kevin asked as he looked between Isaiah and Jean. Everyone leaned in, and all eyes were on them. Jean laughed, shaking her head, her eyes twinkling in amusement. "Why not? You're always together the past few days."
"No, we're just hanging out, we're only friends." Jean assured the team, and Kyle rolled his eyes. Kyle thought that Isaiah was just waiting for the right moment, and once he got that, he knew Isaiah would pounce on her like a dog. He knew his best friend well.
"Oh, come on, don't give us that bullshit." Kyle finally said, and the guys agreed.
"It's true, though." Isaiah responded, and the guys leaned back with a groan. They wanted their friends to get a girl as soon as possible. After the 'stealing girlfriend' stunt, they knew their friend needed some help to get back on his feet. Isaiah wasn't damaged, but maybe they thought he was. For fuck's sake, the guy wasn't talking to any girl unless he was confronted. "We're not dating. Jean is fun to be around. What? You can't have girl friends? You're just jealous because you don't have the charming ability as me."
At that joke, Jean laughed and touched Isaiah's arm by accident. It was only an instinct. But nonetheless, Isaiah didn't seem to mind. His teammate laughed at him, and Jean was honestly grateful to be in their circle. Jean was lucky to have Isaiah as a friend, and even though they were just friends, there's a teeny tiny feeling of hope that somehow, Isaiah would notice her and consider her as a girlfriend material, not girl-friend material. But that was quite impossible. Jean knew Isaiah was throwing subtle hints that they were just going to be friends, and nothing more. And honestly, she was happy he did that. She got the message. Jean wasn't going to flirt at him; she wouldn't want to lose her new friend.
Isaiah's eyes wandered around the cafeteria. There was someone who was quite loud, complaining about his stolen fries and Isaiah rolled his eyes. His eyes came to a stop at Chad, who was sitting with Dylan and his teammate. Chad's head was going from left to right to face Dylan, and he smiled at him.
A pang of jealousy hit Isaiah, and he wished he could just storm there and get Chad away from the bastard. But he prevented himself. Cafeteria wasn't the right place to put his fist on Dylan's face. Plus, it would get him suspension, and that's something his dad wouldn't like. And Sarah would have an impression that he was a violent kid. His eyes stayed on Chad, and when he thought he wouldn't be more pissed, that's when Dylan hugged Chad, and for some idiotic reason, Chad hugged him back. In fact, the whole team hugged him.
He stood up, and his friends looked at him. He walked through the crowd of students, but before he reached them, the fire drill alarm went off. When there's a fire drill, they had to comply with the rules and follow the protocols. Students started storming off the building with their hands on their head, and Isaiah stomped his foot on the ground in frustration. He could hear his teammate calling him, telling him that they needed to get out of the school for fire drill.
Isaiah sighed but followed the fire drill protocol. As if he had other choice. His friends followed him until they reached outside, and their principal went outside and thanking them for their participation. The class after lunch was converted into free time, and the students were more than happy to hear that. He searched the parking lot, but he couldn't see Chad or Dylan.
When school for today was done, Isaiah was waiting for a text message from Chad. But after all that happened between them, he doubted he would hear back from him soon. But at least he hoped for it.
Jean met up with him later on, and Isaiah told her to get into the passenger seat so they could go back to Starbucks. They earned a few stares from the students going home, some even took a picture, but Isaiah and Jean couldn't care less. They weren't dating, and it would just be rumors that would be quickly dismissed.
They went to the nearest Starbucks just five streets away from their school. Isaiah parked the car, and Jean climbed out. They both went together to Starbucks. Isaiah never liked drinking coffee, so he settled for a chocolate cookie crumble crème, and Jean ordered iced peach green tea. They took a seat as they waited for their order, and this was the moment Isaiah was waiting for.
He tested the waters. "Where are your friends?"
"Oh, you mean, Tarra and the cheerleading squad?" she asked for confirmation.
"You have other friends, right?"
"Yes, you mean George and Carl?" Isaiah nodded. "Well, they are quite busy at the moment. They didn't even come to school today because, coincidentally, they're both sick. I just think they did something crazy, like they went to a bar on a school day."
This was the moment. Isaiah knew he had to say this now, or the moment wouldn't come again. Well, of course, he was being dramatic. But he couldn't keep this longer. He wanted to figure himself out as soon as possible, and if he kept on ignoring it, he knew he would regret not trying this at the earliest.
"Listen, I have to tell you something." Isaiah said to Jean, and Jean leaned in closer, seemingly interested. She nodded her head. Jean instantly knew there was something bugging Isaiah. She just did. "No one should know about this. At this rate, you're the only person I can trust because, well, Kyle isn't really the brightest best friend."
"What is it that you need help with?" Jean asked.
Isaiah sighed, looking out through the window. He saw a couple of kids passing by, stomping on the puddle on the road until their mother called them. He thought of the time when he was a kid, where he was pretending to be a doctor. Life was so simple. He was in love with the idea of being a doctor, and he swore he would become like one someday. Up to this point, Isaiah still believed that. He still wished he could become a great doctor in his generation.
He pursed his lips as he looked back at Jean, who leaned in closer so she could get a better view of Isaiah. Now, it was obvious to Jean that whatever Isaiah was facing was serious, and she would willingly help him. Not because she liked him, but because it's something a friend would gladly do no matter what it is.
"I think I'm having an identity crisis," Isaiah finally told his new friend.
For a moment, Jean's mind went black. She didn't expect that word to come from Isaiah. And what did he mean by identity crisis? Did he mean in the aspect of roles and beliefs in the society, or just plain sexuality?
When it finally dawned on Jean, she touched Isaiah's hand out of nowhere and looked at him with such intensity. If he was having identity crisis, Jean would help him. Would he like to experiment? Well, not experiment on her. It finally clicked on her the reason why Isaiah was asking for her gay friends. Tarra was right, Jean was a smart girl.
"I understand, Isaiah. Of course, I'd help you." Jean smiled at Isaiah, and he sighed in relief, finally letting the weight on his shoulder fall. "Identity crisis is not something one person has to deal alone. Almost everyone experiences that, not just, you know, in that aspect."
"Well, you could say what's on your mind," Isaiah laughed. Jean, too.
"All right, identity crisis in the sexuality aspect."
Their names were called, and Isaiah got them. Jean thanked him. She took a small sip of her iced peach green tea and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. She smiled at Isaiah and thought Isaiah must be having a hard time dealing with his issue. Isaiah looked at his newfound friend, and was thankful to have Jean.
"So how do you think I would be able to help you?" Jean asked as she took another seat of her tea. "With the help of Carl and George? I'm guessing that's why you were looking for them? Would you like to experiment with them?"
"God, you made it sound like I was interested in having a threesome with two dudes." Isaiah laughed, but shook his head. "I just wanted to know their experience, and some feedback from them would be good."
Jean smiled. "Considered it done, my friend."
Isaiah was glad that this went easier than he expected. Chad crossed his mind again, and he smiled. He was discovering new things about himself that he didn't know was possible. Chad brought it out on him. Now, if he did find out he's into dudes as well, what would he do then? Of course, he would want Chad to be his first... boyfriend.
Chad being his boyfriend. His cute little Filipino boyfriend.
That actually didn't sound so bad.