With a deep breath, I try to school my face into anything other than frantic and pathetic before turning around. Jace slows from a run to a fast-paced stalk once he sees me giving up. I might as well be waving a white flag in the air. It would almost be funny considering his costume.
"Where the hell are you going?" Jace demands, stopping just a few inches in front of me.
I step away, desperate to put more space between us. "Home."
Releasing a deep breath through his nose, Jace's bare chest rises and falls rapidly. Those deep blue eyes lock on me, trying to peel away the fake mask of indifference I'm just barely holding onto.
"What was that in there?" He nods towards the house.
I shake my head, keeping my voice level. "Nothing."
"Fuck the bullshit, Alexis! Be real with me!"
My lip trembles and my face pinches together, the hold on my emotions straining like a rubber band ready to snap and sting us both.
"Alexis," he repeats, trying to reach out to me.
Jumping back, I trip over my heel-knew this would happen- and start to tilt back before Jace catches my arm and pulls me against him. The intense heat from his chest fractures my control. I shove away and stumble back, catching myself this time without his help.
"Don't fucking touch me, Jace." The last strands of my composure snapone by one. Frustrated with my inability to stay steady on my feet, I slip my heels off. Throwing them into the dark, I allow the damp grass to soak through my thigh high stockings, freezing my toes. "Just leave me alone."
"No." He frowns, a small crack appearing in his own false exterior. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck just happened inside."
I roll my eyes to the sky. "Isn't it fucking obvious?"
"Not at all. So why don't you explain it to me."
I hang my head, feeling more exhausted than I have in a long time. "I'm sick and need to go home. That's all."
It's not a total lie.
A humorless chuckle escapes his lips. "Right. You've been having a good time all night and now all of a sudden you're not feeling good?" A blazing intensity plays across his face. "Sure it doesn't have something to do with your boy toy in there?"
Oh, I'm sure this has nothing to do with Derek and everything to do with Jace and his clingy side-chick.
It shouldn't bother me. We're friends, that's all. But telling myself that only makes me feel worse. A tightness wraps around my chest like a vice, my body's way of saying, 'nice attempt, chick. Try again'.
"Derek is not my boy toy. I just told him we're done. The only thing he'll get from me is friendship...or an attempt at one anyway."
"You ended things with him?" Jace's tone softens, shock lacing his words.
Clenching my jaw, I nod. My eyes betray me as they drink in the raw emotion carved into his sculpted features, a strained mix of relief, and...fear.
I nearly choke on that realization as he steps closer.
"What does that mean for us, Alexis?"
I shake my head. "It means nothing."
"What?" He jerks back.
Looking away, I focus my attention on a flickering street light in the distance. "Go back to your date, Jace."
"No!" He snarls. "I don't fucking want her! How many times do I gotta tell you that?"
Enough times to mean it.
"You've said that before and yet you let her mark her territory all over your neck."
"You're right." Jace throws his arms wide. "I'm a fucking idiot. All I saw was you wrapped around Derek and I wasn't thinking straight. But I swear to fucking God, she means nothing to me."
His words make my pulse thump faster, my heart joyfully beating for each promise that leaves his lips. But that's the thing about Jace, he has an amazing way with words. Always has.
He can convince God that he's a saint. Make a cop believe that he's a victim even as he's knocking a guy out. It's just natural for him, and I'm tired of falling for his words.
"What do you want from me, Jace? You tell me to be real with you but you can never do the same."
"Isn't it fucking obvious?" he throws my words back at me.
I laugh under my breath. "No. Nothing's obvious when it comes to you. So why don't you spell it out for me!"
"I fucking care about you!"
My heart leaps into my throat. The look on Jace's face mirrors my own emotions, his jaw hanging open while comprehension fills his wide eyes.
His confession stuns us both. Neither of us expected those words to rip from his throat.
Stumbling back, I look at the dew-covered grass and shake my head hoping to stir up some kind of response. My mind is fuzzy, my dazed thoughts replaying his words on a loop. "I fucking care about you!" I didn't think he'd actually say it. Hell, I didn't even think that would be his answer.
Returning my gaze to Jace, I'm dumbfounded by the intensity in his stare. His eyes flash with a new determination. Something's changed. The tension between us shifting, sending my body into fight or flight mode. I step back and he steps forward. One step. Two steps.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins, thick with fear.
Jace closes the distance between us, backing me up against the wall and resting his arms on either side of my head. Just inches in front of my face a raw feral look blankets his features, a sign that the dam inside of him has finally broken. Fuck teasing and caution, he's prepared to give me everything I'm too scared to have.
My chest aches. My heart hammering away, trying to reach out to him. The thump-thump-thump a desperate cry for attention.
I can't let this happen. It's too much.
"No," I whisper, fighting my heart's desperate pleas. "That doesn't make any sense. You were the one who left me. You didn't care anymore."
"Really?" He looks possessed, his eyes locked on me like I'm the only thing he can see. The world around us fading to black.
With nimble fingers, he unties the cape to my costume and lets it fall to the ground, revealing my strapless corset top. The cool breeze tickles my bare shoulders but there's no chill, not with his hard heated body this close.
Biting his lip, Jace's eyes drink their fill. "If that were true, then why can't I keep my hands off you?" He pulls me against his naked chest with one hand while the other skates up my arm and across my shoulders.
My body responds like a drug feign, trembling from his touch. A shiver slithers down my spine worse than any cold chill while a trail of fire simmers across my skin. Hot and cold, that's how it always is with us. It's a messy combination but I've never felt anything more intoxicating.
"If I didn't care, Alexis, then why is it I can't touch another girl unless I'm imagining you?" He pushes against me, trapping me against the wall, his minty beer breath skating across my lips.
"J-Jace, you don't have t-to do this," I stammer, already losing the fight as my body melts against his, relishing every feel of his ripped muscles pressing against me.
Ignoring me, Jace's hand moves to trace his thumb across my bottom lip. "Why do I obsess about kissing you again, baby? Why do memories of holding you still haunt me?" His face pinches in agony. "Why can't I do the right fucking thing and leave you alone?"
I don't know what's right, but whatever it is, he's throwing it out the window. Making my pulse race, his ocean eyes shine with a decision that's going to leave a permanent mark on the both of us. Like a set of hand prints in cement or a tattoo inked onto skin. We won't be able to go back after this and he knows it. He's accepted it.
With a twitch in his jaw, he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and does the one thing that'll change everything; he slams his lips against mine.
All my fighting and thoughts of denial vanish into thin air. Forgetting every reason why this is a mistake, I kiss him back. It starts slow, retesting once familiar waters, but nothing about Jace is ever slow. His hands travel up my body, grasping for leverage and finding the perfect hold on my jaw to tilt my head back. His tongue glides across my lips, asking for entrance, attentive, and hungry.
Panic pricks my thoughts, digging through the fog and preventing me from accommodating his request while my hands still grip his strong shoulders, desperately holding onto him. A pained growl tears from his throat and reverberates through my chest just as he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and tugs with his teeth.
I whimper as an intense ache builds in the pit of my stomach, smashing through any defense I have left. That's Jace, a fucking bulldozer shattering every wall I fight to hold up. Relentless and demanding, he never gives up, and as frustrating as that's been, it's also incredibly hot. It's that cocksure attitude-knowing what I want even if I won't admit it to myself-that stokes the flames inside me. When his tongue seeks entrance again, I don't hesitate, opening my mouth as my body shakes with excitement. When his tongue wraps around mine, I know I'm a goner.
My lips match his, just as hungry, just as desperate as he is. There's no better feeling than this. No greater high than the one he's giving me. It's like being pulled from a black and white movie and seeing color for the first time. Jumping from existing to living, 'cause isn't that what I've been doing this whole time? Just getting by. Pushing forward with my head down, cut off from everything around me. But there's no 'just' anything with Jace. He makes damn sure of that.
Our hands frantically explore each other's bodies, searching for a way to get closer. Close isn't close enough. We need more, so much more. My nails dig into his shoulders and he groans into my mouth. It's the sexiest sound I've ever heard, so I do it again. Jace rewards me with another earth-shattering tug of my lip between his teeth as both his hands skim down to palm my ass and lift me into the air.
With a gasp, I wrap my legs around his waist and nearly moan as I feel his excitement against me. Jolts of electricity zap every nerve ending in my body. Jace feels it too, groaning as he returns his mouth to mine. He aligns us perfectly, placing himself at the right spot for me to feel just how hard and big he is.
God, my memories didn't do him justice, and that's with clothes on. My stomach constricts just thinking of what it would be like without the barriers between us.
My heart beats out of control against his. Our bodies fuse like magnets, drawn to each other despite everything. The way we move, it's like we've never been apart. We don't need to think, our hands remembering every touch that drives the other crazy. My fingers dive into his hair while he wraps mine around his fist and pulls my head to the side, giving himself access to my neck.
Jace sucks and bites my sensitive skin, leaving a trail along my throat. A whimper slips past my lips as my back arches, pressing myself against him more. Each sensation is more intense than the last.
"Fuck, baby," Jace rasps against my flesh, panting between each kiss, each nip of his teeth. "So much better than I remembered."
Tightening my grip on his hair, my breathy words leave me with so much desire I don't recognize my own voice. "Again. Jace, kiss me."
He grunts, keeping his lips on my throat and pushes closer, grinding his erection against me. My legs shake around his waist, a moan breaking free.
"You feel that, baby?" He growls, pulling away from my neck to rest his forehead against mine, his lust-filled gaze mirroring my own. "You feel what you've been doing to me all this time?"
"Yes, yes." My senses hum, overloaded with every sensation he delivers.
"We can't escape each other, baby." His voice sounds lost with need and a deeper emotion that makes my heart tremble in fear and zaps my mind from the lust-filled mist I allowed myself to get lost in.
Alarm bells ring in my head. What the hell are we doing?
This isn't like me. Maybe once upon a time, a younger more naive version of me would get swept up in the frenzy of emotions that Jace created but that was a long time ago. I'm not the same person I once was and our relationship is definitely not one where we should be doing this.
"J-Jace, put me down." I press my hands to his shoulders.
His head jerks back, the skin between his brows creasing as he places me on my feet. "What's wrong?"
I slip away, needing space so I can think straight. Having him pin me to the wall is not good for my sanity. I can't focus with him that close.
With each deep breath, another shock of reality hits me.
"We can't do this." I shake my head, unable to look at him right now.
"Why the fuck not?"
The distress in his voice stabs me like a knife. I wince, stepping back but can't find the right words to describe the dread choking the life out of me.
"Alexis...please, just talk to me."
"I can't." I shake my head repeatedly, gripping the last thread of control to look at him.
The blue of his eyes is darker, wild with confusion as they search mine. Whatever Jace finds, he doesn't like it.
His face twists with torment. "You felt that. I know you did. Don't fucking shut me out again, Alexis. Not again!"
"We're just friends, Jace. Remember, that's it. That's all we agreed on." It's a pitiful excuse but it's all I have.
"Fuck that!" He growls. "I'm not your goddamn friend, Lex! We can never be just friends, not when there's still something between us!"
"There isn't."
There can't be.
"Save it for someone who believes that bullshit," he spits before throwing his hand to point at the wall. "That right there wasn't nothing. You don't kiss someone like that if you don't feel anything for them."
My head hurts, a pounding ache starting in my temples. This is all too much. I don't wanna think about it anymore. I can't.
"I can't do this," my voice cracks, my eyes stinging with frustration.
Jace's jaw jumps as he steps towards me.
"Lexi!"
Both our heads snap at the sound of Josie shouting my name. I'm equal parts surprised and relieved at the lifeline she's unknowingly sending me. She's out back, unable to see us, thankfully.
Biting my lip, I slowly step towards the back of the house. Jace's eyes pick up on the movement and narrow at me, challenging me. Daring me to run.
"I'm sorry," I whisper before turning around and rushing towards my escape.
As I round the corner, I spot Jo on the porch, scanning the yard. She smiles at my approach until she notices the anxious look I can't even attempt to hide.
"Hey." She frowns. "What's wrong?"
"I'm gonna head home."
"Why? Is everything o..." her voice trails off as her eyes pick up on something-or someone-behind me.
I look over my shoulder in time to see Jace charging behind me, clearly coming from the same place I did. As he passes, his raging blue eyes flick towards me before he disappears into the house.
"Do you need me to talk to him?" Josie offers.
"No." I shake my head, biting back the overflow of emotions threatening to spill at any second. "He didn't do anything wrong. It's me."
Jo's warm brown eyes soften with understanding but she doesn't press. "Okay. You got a ride?"
"Yeah. I drove myself."
With a nod, she reaches out to squeeze my hand reassuringly. "It'll be okay. Things just take time. Go get you some rest."
I squeeze back as a silent 'thanks' before slipping inside. Looking for any signs of the others, I come up empty and decide to shoot them a group text instead. I don't want them worrying if they can't find me later.
On my way to the front door, I catch Cassie leaning against a wall, sipping on a drink while she stares at the dance floor.
"Hey, I'm heading out. You got a ride?" I ask, feeling slightly responsible for her.
She doesn't tear her eyes away from the object of her attention. "I'm good. Gonna just call a cab later."
I follow her line of sight to see her friend Hazel grinding on Wilder.
"Weren't you dancing with him?"
"Mmhmm." She murmurs and takes a sip of her drink. A small fire of anger flares in her baby blues, reminding me once again of her cousin.
"Alright...well, if something happens and you need a ride, just give me a call. I only live a couple minutes away."
Cass finally looks my way and attempts a smile. "Okay. Thanks."
I give her a quick hug and walk away, keeping my head so I don't run into a certain pissed off guy with branding lips. Running my fingertips over my kiss-swollen mouth, I shudder. I can still feel him, everywhere.
"We can't escape each other, baby." His words echo in my head, sending a rush of goosebumps across my skin. I wrap my arms around myself, cursing for leaving my cape in the grass, and make my way to the car.
💋____________________________________💋
And here's the second update for tonight! Again, sorry this was a couple days late but omg they finally kissed! 😘😆
Firstly, what did you think of the kiss? Too much, too little? What about Jace's confession? Do you think Lexi should be as scared as she is? Any predictions for what's gonna happen next?
Let me know what you think in the comments and if you like what you read, please hit that star button!
The teaser for chapter 20 will be posted on my Instagram and Twitter in a day or two. Keep an eye out for it!