We didn't stay long at the Naval Base. Axel spent most of his time shouting when he returned. The rest of the time was fussing around me.
We all flew out five hours after the explosion. Pierre died in surgery and I found no pity in that.
We decided to go straight to my Dad's. Seeing them and Jacob was amazing and we all ate together.
I went up to my room and was stood looking out of the window as I felt some arms encircling me. I looked to the side to see Brandon.
"Are you happy to be home?" he asked.
"Yes" I said squeezing his arms. The truth was I felt out of sorts. Here in this house that had been my very first home it felt different. I didn't belong here anymore. But none of the guys had asked me to move in with them so I didn't have much choice.
"We need to be heading off come see us off love" Brandon said with a little too much chipper in his voice.
We went down and I kissed all my boys before they left. As they drove out of the driveway I felt my heart tighten.
Gerry slung his arm over my shoulder leading me back to the kitchen. "What snacks for movie night princess?" he asked.
I looked over at Jacob's bright smile. Shaking off my despairing mood i plastered on a smile.
"Popcorn" I shouted as Jacob cheered. We gathered up as much junk food as we could carry before going down into the media room. We all stayed together huddled in a pile watching silly movies and eating until we felt sick.
The next few day's I spend organising a new phone. Going to the hairdresser where Vivian gave me the best pampering session including a massage.
The studio was thriving and I felt like a spare part with Steph being ultra organised. The boys were being illusive. They had popped to see me individual with lots of kisses but it was very short and sweet.
The only thing keeping me sane were my visits to the gym. Jay had explained about the mess with Vlad but I had said he had balls to have avoided his net. His sparring has helped with my mood.
It was now a week since our return and not one had asked me on a date or asked me over. I was officially pissed.
I decided I needed some time out. I told my Dad's I needed a night out and they wanted to come with me but I explained I needed to feel secure on my own as well.
I put on a pair of skinny dark blue jeans and a baby blue cropped top. Black heeled boots and a dark blue jacket finished my outfit. My hair was curled and I felt good.
Going down Derek had checked my phone and asked me to check in with him in a couple of hours. I kissed his cheek and smiled. I wasn't going to diminish their attention. They cared.
I drove into town and decided I would go and watch a film. I looked at what was on offer and chose 'The Darkest Minds'.
I treated myself to some nachos and a large coffee. Once in the cinema I text my Dad to say all was ok and settled down for the film.
It was a nice distraction but I distinctly enjoyed the nachos the most. I laughed to myself. I walked through the mall and decided to browse a few shops. I never normally allowed myself much free time. Thought if I stopped still too much thoughts would haunt me.
Now I wasn't afraid of any if's or maybes. I went into Victoria secrets and looked at some underwear sets and suddenly felt a little sick. I didn't even know if I had anyone to show these to anymore. I hightailed it out of that shop quickly.
I was officially bored and trying to distance myself from the boys. Prove to myself I didn't need them. When I did. I hated that they had wormed into every part of me and now they were nowhere.
I got back to the car and drove to the beach. It was a forty minute drive and thankfully quiet when I arrived.
I walked down the beach pathway and made my way to the outcrop of rocks. I sat down and closed my eyes. I laid my head back and breathed in the salty air.
This situation needed to change. If they had changed their mind about a relationship then they can bloody well tell me not act like spineless teenagers. I deserved more.
My phone vibrated and I pulled it from my pocket. I noticed a few missed texts.
Brandon: Hey Senna I'm free later was gonna call for coffee xx
Corey: are you free tomorrow I wanted to pop and see you xx
Pop in? Coffee? Was that all I was worth. I switched off my phone screen and looked out at the beach. The scene was beautiful and I was absolutely miserable.
I got up and walked along the path and back up the shore as there was a coffee shop. I bought a large caramel latte and meandered back to my little space on the rock.
I was halfway through my coffee when my phone vibrated again. Pulling it out I noticed it was Derek.
"Hey Dad miss me already?" I joked.
"Always. Where are you?" he asked. I told him I was going out and I hadn't missed a check in so why was he phoning me checking where I was.
"The boys asked you hey" the anger slipped into my voice.
"Look Pria they were worried" he said.
"So they decide to worry now. Where have they been the last week when I've been readjusting. Don't you ever try and play games with me again Dad" I cut off the call and switched off my phone.
I hate being manipulated as much as being lied to. I went back to my car and decided on getting some food.
I knew exactly where to go. I jumped into my car and hightailed it out of the parking area back onto the road.
I pulled into our diner. When we broke up it was too difficult to come here but I wanted to return.
As I pushed the door open I smiled at Beryl. She lit up as she noticed me. "Good to see you girl" she said leading me to a booth.
I sat down and checked the menu. "What's your pleasure" Beryl asked with a smirk.
"What's the best thing to eat when your angry and disappointed" I asked.
"Fry up darl. Load up on calories cause when you make up you can burn em off" she drawled.
I couldn't help but smile. "A fry up it is then. With a chocolate milkshake please" Beryl took the menu and left me to my thoughts.
After my milkshake and food my anger was wavering and I pulled out my phone. Beryl popped over asking if I wanted anything else but I was stuffed.
"Can I grab a coffee and I might squeeze some pie in soon" I asked her. She winked as she went to retrieve the coffee.
I switched on my phone to a number of beeps. Incoming texts and missed calls. I dialled Derek.
"Hey baby girl I'm so sorry" he started but I interrupted.
"Hang on. I'm not happy with what you did but we'll talk another time. I just wanted to let you know that I'm safe" I explained. I heard his sigh. "Look I'll be back in a couple of hours" I said.
"Ok well talk later. I'll let the guys know your ok" he said before we finished our call.
I enjoyed my coffee but declined on the pie and went back to my car. I felt drained like going back was going to change everything. Was I really ready to see if things weren't heading in the direction I hoped. Had they really lost interest in me or their idea of a polyamory relationship.
Only one way to find out and that was to face the music. I made my way home. I didn't rush home and by the time I pulled into the drive it was 9.50pm.
I got out stretched and locked my car. As I let myself in the house was quiet. I went into the kitchen and as I turned the corner I saw all five men sat at the dining table nursing mugs.
As I entered they all turned to look at me. Flashes of regret and worry were some of their emotions. I rubbed my temple.
Axel stood and walked towards me but I put my hand up to stop him. "We need to talk but I want to change first" I said as I turned and went to my room.
Pulling out my phone I noticed a text from my Dad.
DaddyD: I've taken Gerry and Jacob away for the night and tomorrow we are visiting the animal sanctuary. I thought this would give you all time to talk. We love you bundles. Speak soon Dad xx
Pria: I love you. But you are in the same boat as the boys. I've been home a week and you decide on a family outing without me. I understand you want us to talk but wouldn't it be nice to see what I wanted.
I threw my phone on my bed frustrated with how childish I was being. I stripped off and changed into leggings and a t shirt.
I took a few breaths and stilled my racing heart. Going back downstairs the men were still sat in the same spots. Axel at the head, Raven and Corey on one side and Brandon and Marc on the other side.
I went to the other end of the table and sat down. I took a breath as I needed to get out a few things.
"Since coming home I have felt your absence. I realise you all have commitments including the Academy and I never expected a relationship between us all being easy. I at least thought with five guys i would feel claustrophobic rather than neglected. Not one of you has asked to spend time with me, go on a date or sleep over. I shouldn't even have to ask you to do this it should be something you all want to do. Now if your having regrets, second thoughts or need to slow things down you need to be honest now" I took a fortifying breath and looked at them all.
Axel was frowning, Raven was clenching and unclenching his fists whilst Corey tried to calm him. Marc was shocked and Brandon was teary eyed.
"We've gone about this all wrong" Axel said as Brandon stood.
"It's not what you think Pria. God damn it I will not loose you again" he shouted.
"Can we go now" Corey asked.
"It's shit" Raven said looking furious. I was confused.
"It's dark but who cares. We have been working on a surprise Pria and in our excitement failed to notice what we were doing to you. Get your shoes on we have something to show you" Axel said.
"Hang on before you go" Brandon moved around the table towards me. "Not one of us have had second thoughts or doubts. We all want you in our life. Ok" he said.
"Ok I think" I said. We all moved towards the front door and I grabbed a pair of old boots and a warm coat.
We left the house and all piled into Axel's SUV. I was still a little nervous. We drove through town for about 10 minutes before they pulled up to a gateway.
I looked at Corey sitting next to me but he avoided my gaze. We pulled up to grey wash house with an open area in the centre that looks like you can drive through.
As we pulled up I realised it was a new build. The car stopped and we all got out.
"What is this?" I whispered.
Axel stood next to me and took my hand. "Earlier made me realise we may have gone about this the wrong way. We have been without you for so long that we don't want to waste any time in our future apart. We've been looking at houses and all agreed we liked this and hopefully you'll agree also. That's if your happy to rush into the moving in together" Axel rambled.
I took in the Beauty of the place and then the sheer size. "I have missed you all this week so much. I do want to be with you all and living together is something I want too. I want us to do this as one though. We all put in money and make choices together. No more behind my back" I swivelled to look at them all.
"I love you but for fucks sake stop leaving me out" I said trying to add a little teasing to my voice. Raven was the first to explode and ran to me swooping me up.
"I love my little sexy лиса" he said. He passed me to Corey.
"I love my little cherub" he said kissing me and passing me to Axel.
"I love you spitfire you bring the fire that has burnt you in my soul. I will never leave your side" he said as he kissed me and passed me to Marc.
"I love you, you made my dream come true with the coffee shop and made my life complete when you joined my family" he kissed me and passed me to Brandon.
I stood in front of him with swollen lips and looked into the depths of his eyes.
"I have loved you for so long. I never dreamed you would make my brothers as happy as I am" he took me in his arms with a lingering kiss.
I looked at them all stood there with our home behind them. "I never knew love could feel like this. When I was younger I never dared to dream. Now I feel I have been blessed with the life I've been given with all of you. My heart is only complete because I have met you I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you all" I said I took in my future stood right in front of me.