Bill looked at the clock on his nightstand.
6:00 a.m.
He then looked at his cellphone, lit up and vibrating across the nightstand.
"What the fuck?"
He grabbed the cellphone and accepted the call.
"'ello?"
"Billy Boy? 'enry Tucker 'ere."
"Henry do you know what time it is?"
"Yes boy, Ise do. Don't youse 'ave a clock?"
"I have a clock Henry."
"Den whys youse bes askin' me what times its bes. Jest look at yer clock."
Bill let out a long sigh.
"Anyways, Billy Boy. Ise were jest callin' to reminds youse dat wese 'as a council meetin' today at two o'clock."
"I know we have a meeting, Henry. I have a reminder on my cellphone."
"Youse do? 'ow youse do dat. Ise tried but Ise always fucks it up. Lets me tries again."
"Henry. No."
Bill looked at the cellphone as the call ended.
"Fuck."
Seconds later his cellphone vibrated in his hand.
"Me fuckin' nerves," Bill sighed.
"Yes Henry."
"Oops, Billy Boy. Ise couldn't do it. Can yuse walk me thru it?"
"Not right now, Henry. I just woke up."
"Ah, dat explains it. Youse slept in."
Bill let out a long sigh.
"I didn't sleep in Henry."
"Den whats youse bes doin' in bed at six in da mornin'? Youse bes sick?"
"No Henry, I am not sick. See you later Henry."
Bill ended the call and put the cellphone back on the nightstand.
The cellphone immediately stared vibrating again.
"What Henry?"
"Don't forgets da council meetin' and 'ow to show me 'ow to puts a reminder on my cellphone."
"Goodbye Henry."
Bill ended the call and put the cellphone back on the nightstand. He no sooner had his eyes closed, than the cellphone started vibrating again.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me."
Bill grabbed the cellphone.
"What?"
"Bill?"
"Yes, this is Bill."
"Clayton 'ere, me son. Just remindin' youse about da meetin' dis mornin' at nine."
"I know Clayt. I have a reminder on my cellphone."
"ise gots to learn to do dat, Bill. Dat wud come in 'andy."
"Talk to Henry. He knows how to do it," Bill smirked.
"No boy, 'e doesn't. 'e told me to asks youse. 'e said youse wud knows."
Bill took a deep breath.
"I will show you later or why don't you get your granddaughter to show you."
Clayton laughed.
"Yes boy, dats 'xactly what Ise gonna do. Wake dat young Tanya up at dis hour of da day. Do youse knows 'ow contrary she wud bes?"
"I have a pretty good idea."
"Anyways, wes gots a couple proposals sent to us by email. Dey is pretty big orders Bill and wes mite 'ave to get a few more peoples in 'ere ifin wes takes dese."
"Well, we will talk about it at the meeting, Clayt."
"And youse show me 'ow to do dat reminder ting."
"Clayt? Don't we have a meeting every Monday at nine o'clock?"
"Yes, boy wese does."
"Then why do you need a reminder?"
"Its jest bes more professional."
Bill let out yet another long sigh.
"Okay Clayt. See you at nine."
Bill ended the call and dropped the cellphone on his night table.
"Fuck."
He looked at the time.
6:20 a.m.
His cellphone started to vibrate again.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me."
Bill felt Matty roll over in bed and put one arm around him.
"Sweetie? Your cellphone is vibrating," she informed him, sleepily.
"Can you answer it? And talk softly. I am trying to sleep."
Bill rolled his eyes as he answered the cellphone.
"Yes Harry."
"Mornin' Bill. Jest callin' to let youse knows dat yer Scotch and cigars came in over da weekend. Youse can drop by and pick dey up, when youse wants."
"Couldn't you have reminded me a little later?"
"Well, 'enry said youse was already up, so Ise figured Ise phones youse now, before Ise fergets."
"Well thank you, Harry. I will drop by after my meeting with Clayt and the boys at the plant."
"Okay Bill. Oh, and by da by, 'enry tells Ise dat youse knows 'ow to put dat reminder ting on yer phone."
"I will show you later Harry."
"Tanks Bill. Sees youse later."
Bill ended the call and stared at the cellphone. He suddenly had the urge to throw the phone out into the North Atlantic.
But he never got the chance as it vibrated once again.
Matty punched Bill in the shoulder.
"Honey, answer your phone."
Matty rolled away from Bill, pulling the blankets off him.
"Perfect," Bill gasped, as he answered the cellphone.
"Hello."
"Bill?"
"Yes."
"Harriet Tucker 'ere. I jest called to lets youse knows dat youse does not 'ave to shows Dad and Uncle 'enry 'ow to put reminders on dere cellphones. Ise can shows dem."
"Well thank you Harriett."
"No problem Bill. And Dad wanted mes to reminds youse dat your Scotch and cigars are in."
Harriett's voice suddenly sounded muffled.
"What. Oh okay."
Her voice came back loud and clear.
"Dad jest told me dat 'e told youse about da Scotch and cigars. So forget Ise told youse. Bye."
Bill stared at the cellphone, as he sat up in bed. He looked at Matty, snuggled under the blankets, snoring softly.
"So. Does Ise bes a great-grandmudder yet?"
Bill never even looked at Nanny Dove. He simply pointed to the bedroom door.
"Get out, old lady."
"Talks 'bout an old crab in da mornin'. Did youse git up on da wrong side of da bed or somethin'?"
"Out," Bill repeated.
"Youse really shud puts on some clothes, Willam. Must be cold wit no blankets on youse."
"Bill, shhhhhh," Matty grumbled.
"I'm trying to sleep."
"See, nows youse wokes up Matty."
Bill glared at Nanny Dove.
"Are you still here?"
Nanny Dove laughed.
"Is youse blind. Ise stand-in' rite 'ere."
"Get out," Bill snapped.
Nanny Dove disappeared, just as Matty rolled over and hit Bill in the leg.
"Honeyyyyyyyy. If you can't be quiet, then get out of bed."
"Might as well," Bill sighed, as he picked up his sleep pants and pulled them on.
His cellphone began vibrating again.
"You have got to be kidding me."
He stared at it until it stopped, determined not to answer it. He picked up his housecoat and threw it over his shoulders, just as it began to vibrate again. Bill dropped it in his housecoat pocket and left the bedroom.
As soon as he walked into the living room, he turned on the propane fireplace and walked to the kitchen.
"Well? Ise Ise a great-grandmudder?"
Bill turned slowly.
"Can I at least have my fucking coffee first?"
"Grumpy ole grouch."
Bill prepared a pot of coffee and no sooner had hit the start button then he felt his cellphone vibrating in the housecoat pocket.
He took it out and accepted the call.
"Morning Kenny."
"Mornin' Bill. Jest callin' to let youse knows dat yours truck bes all winterized. Ise will get Junior to drop it off to youse and youse can drop by to pay later."
"Thank you Kenny."
"No problem, Bill. And jest to lets youse knows."
"What's that Kenny?"
"Ise knows 'ow to set dat reminder ting on my phone. Junior showed Ise, so ifin youse needs me to show anyone, Ise can."
Bill laughed to himself.
"Well thank you Kenny. I'll keep that in mind."
"K, Bill. Gotta go. Gots another call."
Bill looked at the kitchen clock, as he ended the call.
6:45 a.m.
"What time do these people get up?"
Bill took a coffee mug from the cupboard, just as his cellphone vibrated again.
"Junior. How are you?"
"Morning Mr. Williams. Just lettin' you knows that your truck is in yer driveway. I jest left the keys in the ignition, if that bes okay?"
"That's fine Junior and you know you can call me Bill."
"I knows, but Dad says you is the boss, so I shows respect."
"Well thank you Junior."
Bill looked at his cellphone.
"I have another call, Junior. I will see you later."
"Bye, Mr. Williams."
Bill answered the standby call.
"Kenny?"
"Jest lettin' youse knows dat Junior left yer truck in da driveway and dat da keys bes in da ignition."
"Well thank you Kenny. I will see you later, when I come to pay for the truck."
"Later Bill."
Bill ended the call and leaned on the counter.
"Fuck me."
Bill felt arms go around him.
"Morning handsome," Matty purred.
Bill turned and gave her a quick kiss.
"Morning beautiful."
Matty got a mug and poured a coffee.
"You're up early."
She passed the mug to Bill.
"The fucking phone has not stopped for almost the last hour."
Matty looked at the clock on the wall.
6:55 a.m.
"Who is calling you at this ungodly hour?"
"Who isn't? Henry called to remind me of the council meeting. Clayt called me to remind me of the plant meeting. Harry called to tell me that my Scotch and cigars are in. Kenny called about the truck."
Matty smirked.
"They just don't want you to forget anything."
"I don't forget."
"Well you should do like I do."
"And what is that?"
Matty started walking away from Bill, a huge smile on her face.
"I set reminders on my cellphone, so I don't forget."