A/N - This chapter is based on the song '21' by Gracie Abrams. I hope you all enjoy it.
Peter's birthday probably would have been cause for celebration if things had still been normal. You would have planned some big party at the Avengers Facility, with a little bit of help from your dad, and he would have been surrounded by the people who loved him; friends, family, even his teammates. But the world wasn't normal anymore and you hadn't seen Peter in months.
You had woken up on the morning of Peter's 21st birthday with your brain full of fog. It wasn't like you had been sleeping well anyway, but last night had been atrocious. It had already been getting light when you'd finally managed to actually fall into unconsciousness, and then an hour later your alarm had pulled you out of a fitful sleep.
Hitting the snooze button on your phone, your released a long, drawn-out sigh. There was no use attempting falling asleep again now, it would never come close to anything that could be considered a proper nights sleep. You sat up slightly, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and stifling a yawn.
When you had been laying in bed the night before you had considered going over to Peter's old apartment. You hadn't been there since Thanos had come to earth, and the idea of being in his space without him had terrified you. But May would be there, and according to Peter she had always loved you. What was the point of you both being sad and alone when you could be sad together?
You officially turned off the alarm when you realised there was no need to keep it chirping every 8 minutes, and slipped out of bed. The kitchen was always the first stopping point in the morning. You would need your caffeine fix, and usually Nat or Steve would be there to keep you company. Of course, it was nothing like the hive of activity it was before, but it gave you a few moments of normality, something that was rare now. After a quick trip to the bathroom to make yourself at least semi-presentable, you left your room.
The tiles of the kitchen floor were icy as you stepped through the door, flinching slightly at the sudden change in temperature. You had been right about the company. Nat was at the sink, washing the dishes from the night before, and Steve was perched at the kitchen island nursing a coffee.
"Morning," you uttered, drawing their attention. The half smiles they sent in your direction were enough to tell you that they had remembered. You forced your own smile, moving over to the coffee machine in an attempt to avoid eye contact.
"Hey," Nat started softly. "Steve and I were thinking we could take a day off today. Just chill and watch some movies?"
You swallowed around the lump in your throat and took a deep breath. "I was thinking about going to see May," you murmured, finally turning to look at them. "I haven't since-" you paused, the sentence falling off before you could finish it.
"Oh," Nat started again, nodding as she watched you carefully. "Well, I could drop you off if you want?"
"No, I think I'm just going to walk it."
Steve's brow furrowed at your comment. "That's an hours walk, Y/N-"
"I could do with the fresh air," you interrupted, effectively silencing him. "But thank you both for trying to cheer me up. It means a lot."
Steve nodded his understanding, and whilst you were distracted Nat moved closer to you, wrapping you up in a tight hug. "Call me if you need me to pick you up," she told you, her voice warped with worry. "And try to be home before it gets too late."
"You sound like my Dad," you chuckled, feeling her shake with laughter as she tightened her grip on you.
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
*Time Skip*
The walk to Queens hadn't taken as long as you had expected. It turns out when you aren't having to weave your way between traffic and tourists it was quite a quick journey. What you wouldn't have given for that to have been the case when Peter was still living here.
As you approached his apartment building, your heart skipped a beat. God, it had been so long since you had set foot in this part of town, and now you were so close that you felt sick. How could you explain your absence to May without sounding like a spoilt child? She would have missed Peter as much as you had, and you hadn't bothered to even call and see if she was okay.
You took a deep breath, attempting to calm yourself.
"Y/N?" You turned around to find May behind you, a small smile spreading on her lips. "Oh sweetheart, it is you," she exclaimed, dropping her shopping bags to the ground as she surged forward and pulled you into a tight hug. "I was so worried about you."
You could feel the tears forming in your eyes as she gave you a final squeeze, releasing you to gather up her things. "I'm sorry. I would have come earlier, but I-"
"Don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for." You nodded as May reached out to touch your elbow in one of the most comforting gestures you had ever experienced. "I got some bits and pieces for lunch. Some of Peter's favourites, you know? I'm more than happy to share."
A small smile pulled at your lips as you took the bag from her outstretched hand and followed her inside. "I don't know how you're holding it together so well," you started as you began unpacking the shopping onto the kitchen counter.
"Oh, Sweetheart, I've been a mess. But we still have lives that need living, and he wouldn't want us sitting around miserable; especially not on his birthday." May let out a soft sigh. "He loved you and he would want you to be happy," she added.
"Dad wanted me to move with him," you muttered, the words falling off of your tongue before you could catch them. "He's got this little cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Right on the edge of this beautiful lake. He wanted to get off the grid anyway and when Pepper got pregnant and-" you paused for a moment, swallowing the end of the sentence. "I couldn't go. I needed to know that if by some miracle they all came back he would know where to find me. I know it sounds crazy but-"
"I started working from home, just in case he came back in the middle of the day and I wasn't here." May shrugged slightly. "Everyone feels that way now, but it'll get better. It has to."
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