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Jess
The warm water steamed up the hotel bathroom as I stepped into the shower. I just stood, letting the jets hit my back, almost lulling me to sleep. I was absolutely exhausted. I maybe slept a total of an hour and a half last night.
I gave up trying to sleep at about five in the morning, so now I stand in the shower, soaking my thoughts.
What thoughts you ask?
The six foot, long haired, green eyed guy whom I almost kissed just hours ago. I should have kissed, but he makes my head so fuzzy and I never know how to react and...
He seemed so angry at me, too. Or at himself. Who the hell knows?! Harry Styles is such a complicated person. He always has been since I first met him. You would think he's doing one thing, but turns around and does the opposite.
I felt like banging my head against the wall.
Around six, I put on a beanie and went downstairs for some coffee or a Red Bull or anything that would wake me up. The lobby was vacant, but I could hear some shuffling around in the breakfast area. I grabbed my coffee and took a seat on one of the couches. As I took sips, my eyes slowly began to flutter shut.
•••
"Jessica? What the hell are you doing down here? You weren't in your room!" Jane's voice snapped me awake instantly. Her tone was full of concern and anger.
Where was I?
I swipe my gaze around the room. Oh, right, the lobby.
The sun has risen all the way and people were going in and out of the doors. A few snuck some glances at me and the thought hit me of how long I was asleep down here. How many pictures have been taken of me...
"What time is it?" I ask, my voice raspy from sleep.
"8:00. Harry knocked on your door this morning and you weren't there."
So why wasn't he the one waking me up? Oh, right, because he's an asshole.
"You haven't answered my question yet. Why were you down here sleeping?" Jane repeated.
"I didn't mean to. I came down for coffee around six. I didn't sleep well last night." I rub my eyes and stand up. Dizziness came over me, but Jane grabbed my shoulders to steady me.
"You and Harry both, I guess. He seemed under the weather, too." Jane gave me a skeptical look, and I think she expected some reasoning from me, but I had none. I was just really tired mentally and physically.
I shrug. "We're leaving at nine, right?"
She nods and kisses the side of my head. "Yes. You go get ready. I'll have Harry check up on you to make sure you haven't fallen asleep."
"No!" I outburst on accident. "I'll send you a text or something. I won't fall asleep, I promise."
The thought of seeing Harry right now sent chills through my body. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I'd have to see him at some point. But I couldn't face him right now. Not alone at least.
Jane's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Okay," she dragged out, then spun around and continued out the door.
I let out a breath and headed back to my room. Sleepiness was still upon me, but it was something I could handle. I got ready quickly, putting on long, nude, bohemian pants I was in love with and a white tank top. Today felt like a heel day, so I paired the casual outfit with my black pumps. I put on light makeup so that if there were any paps--which I'm sure there will be--they wouldn't criticize me on some god forbidden flaws.
A knock at the door made me jump. My mind instantly went to Harry, yet I'm sure he wouldn't come and get me like he usually does.
I open the door and see Robbie and...
"Sal!" I attack the man in a hug. He gave a deep chuckle and easily picked me off the ground. I haven't seen him since the end of the last tour. He was my other bodyguard besides Robbie and Charlie, who was on vacation with his family. Sal had been taking care of his new baby, but now, apparently, he's back.
"I've missed you, Wild Child," Sal said.
"How's Abby?" I ask, referring to his baby.
A smile appeared on his face. "She's great. Good sleeper, my wife and I love it."
"Ready to head down?" Robbie asks. I go back in my room and grab my bags, putting away some of my stuff in the process, then followed the big guys downstairs.
All of us packed our stuff in two of our SUVs. Some paparazzi were outside and they took a few pictures. They were very kind and I took some selfies with a few who asked.
And Harry...he has avoided me since I walked into the lobby and he gave me one look then continued to grump on the couch. I didn't say a word to him and decided that I'd just let things play out. There's really nothing I could do.
What did make me feel better was that he sat next to me in the car like he always has. But the pressure of his knee on mine and his arm pressed against my arm sent warmth through my body. He kept his gaze out the window all the way to the airport.
As we drove, I felt really bad that I wasn't able to interact more with the fans in the short time I was here. But I knew for sure we were going here for tour and I'd definitely make it up.
We got to the airport and did the normal check ins before loading into the jet. I knew this flight was going to be long, which was good because I could catch up on some well needed sleep.
The beginning and end of a flight were my favorite parts. I just loved the exhilaration of it.
"Jess, could you come here for a sec?" Jane asked once we were fully in the air. I got up from my seat and walked over to her's.
"Yeah?"
She motioned for me to sit next to her and I did, propping my legs up on the seat in front. I watched as she read my face, and I began to think about what she wanted to talk about.
"So, Emily Greene, your vocal coach, is flying to Sydney and meeting us there. You already know about the radio interview with 2Day FM. You'll be doing a photoshoot with Vogue as well. Good news is that we have a whole day of nothing before our flight back to New York," she informs. She drags on the end and plays with her watch a little. She scans the room before asking something else.
"So, what's up with you and Harry?"
Someone had to ask. It was obvious we were acting different.
I shake my head. "Nothing."
She arched an eyebrow and gave me a look. Yeah, you shouldn't even try to get any lie past Jane the Mighty. It won't ever work.
"I don't want to talk about it right now," I say and look at where Harry was, laying on the couch towards the front of the jet. He wasn't sleeping, but it looked like he was about to.
Though we were always with each other, I missed him. I missed talking with him and joking around with him and seeing his smile.
"Whatever it is, you guys need to work it out. And try to sleep, okay?" Jane patted my shoulder and went back to her business on her phone.
I wandered around the plane, sitting with Mere, Lucy, and Caroline before growing too tired to function any longer. I had no choice but to curl up on the opposite couch from Harry. I attempted to not look at him, but I knew he was sleeping.
His whole body sprawled across the cushions, making the decent sized couch look small. His head was turned to the side and his hair was in a bun. He looked like a damn angel.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Shit.
The smartass I am, I take my phone my from my back pocket and take a picture of him. He smirks and rolls his eyes. Wow, some emotion from Harry Styles. Clap your hands, everybody.
"Woah, you're actually talking to me?"
I put it in myself to turn over and close my eyes. He can't act like a grumpy toddler then just pretend nothing ever happened.
I suddenly felt somebody sit right on top my legs. I groan and attempt to pull my legs from underneath Harry.
"Get the hell away from me."
I heard him chuckle. "You had no problem being close to me last night."
Is he really serious?
"You're fucking ridiculous," I hiss and try to get up, but his ass was still planted on top of my legs.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Can we just talk?"
"Talk? No. Get off of me."
"Jessy--"
I sigh. "Harry, if you don't get off of me right now, I'll scream."
A smirk appeared on his perfect face. "You wouldn't. Lucy's asleep."
He was right. I managed to get my legs loose and tried to get up, but Harry pulled me back down.
"This is abuse," I say.
"Let's just talk, Jessy."
I stare into his endlessly green eyes and end up giving in. It was going to have to happen at some point. I follow him as we go to the back part of the jet behind one of the curtains.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Mere spoke without looking up from her magazine. I lightly hit her shoulder as we passed. When we reached the back area, I could hear Jane, Caroline, and Mere laughing still.
I sit down on a chair and crossed my legs. Harry stood in front of me and pulled up another chair. His knees were inches from mine.
Do not look at his lips, Jessica.
"What do you have to say?"
"About last night..." He started, seeming nervous. He bit into his bottom lip. Damn it.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"We almost kissed, Jessy," he said incredulously. Where in the world was he going with this?
"Well, did you want us to kiss?" I question. He goes silent, obviously thinking hard. At this point, it seems like he's staring into my soul. I'm not sure I want to hear the answer.
Seconds pass before he finally says something. "Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters, Harry!"
"Then did you want us to kiss?" He turns the questions around on me.
"Harry--"
"I mean, you did pull away, but I could tell that you wanted to."
"Harry--"
"Maybe you're stuck on the fact that we're friends and you don't want to mess that up."
"Harry! Let me talk."
He shut his mouth and ran his tongue over his lips. I want to kiss him so bad, but he can't know that. He already has an idea--a correct idea of how I feel.
"Look at the big picture. You know soon enough I'll have to be involved in some kind of PR stunt. We can't, Harry. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how I feel. I can't afford to lose you either."
His eyes didn't seem playful or bright anymore. He listened to my every word and I prayed that he'd understand.
"You'd never lose me, Jessy. You know that."
"We just can't. Let's pretend this never happened, okay? Go back to being our normal selves."
Harry nodded.
His head hung low and all I wanted to do was shout out that I loved him and have loved him for so long. But Harry didn't love me. At least not the way I do. I mean, what would happen if we were to get together, then something happen and we'd be stuck facing each other every single day?
But maybe Harry doesn't want a relationship. He might just be talking about a physical relationship, and I don't want to be friends with benefits.
I gave him a small smile and started to get up and head back to where everyone else was. He gently tugged my hand so I sat back down, confusion on my face.
"Just one time. One kiss. Then we can go back to normal," he whispered, his voice raspy.
I looked into his eyes and nodded. It wasn't much of a nod. I barely moved my head, but Harry caught it and instantly his hands cupped my face and his warm lips dropped onto mine.
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Not very long, but hopefully the end made up for it ! :) thank you so much for voting! Next chapter will be the kiss cont. & Australia!
Let me know what you think about Harry & Jess!!
Twitter: @wtvrharold
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