After an hour or two things calmed down and I was able to fall asleep. I woke up once, the clock had read 4:00 AM. The door opened and closed and I saw it was Sowon through the low light pouring in from outside, even though I had expected her to just stay over at Yoongi's. I went back to sleep without much thought, though.
The morning wasn't so bad. I actually felt pretty okay when I opened my eyes, at least until I remembered the events of last night. I needed to move to another country or something. There was simply no way to avoid Taehyung, as much as I had tried.
Half of the point of going to a school away from Jimin was partially to get away from Taehyung and that whole mess to begin with. I frowned. This was all Jin's fault. If he hadn't cheated on me I wouldn't even be here. Then again, I would have never met Jin if Taehyung hadn't made me want to run away from him in the first place...
So basically all of my misery was still Taehyung's fault. Or maybe my own for being so god damn susceptible to him and whatever charms he had.
I rolled over and looked at Sowon's bed. She was laying there, but her eyes were open. In fact, I wasn't sure she had slept at all.
"Oh, you're awake," she said when she finally noticed me looking at her. "It's morning," she said as if she just realized. She sat up and ran a hand through her hair and looked around and pulled the blankets back from her, letting her feet dangle over the edge of her bed.
"Yeah, good morning," I said, sitting up. "Are you okay?" I asked as she continued her weird behavior.
Her hands went to her face, but she didn't look any more at ease when she removed them. "I think I cheated on Yoongi last night."
"What?" I said, eyes widening. I got fully out of bed and went to sit next to her. I put an arm around her shoulder. "What happened? What do you mean?"
"I don't know," she shook her head. "We were dancing and, oh god. I could say it was the drugs, but it wasn't. I don't think so. Not really," she muttered. She seemed like she might cry.
I nodded. The stuff Jungkook gave us was a definite body high, but there wasn't really any heavy mental effects. Any decisions that were made were the person's own, I knew that too well. I tried to push thoughts of Taehyung away. I was trying to focus on what Sowon was trying to tell me.
"Who were you dancing with?" I asked. I'd dipped out of the party pretty early, so if anything happened with some guy, I probably wouldn't have seen it.
"Lisa," she said, folding her hands in her lap, avoiding my eyes.
I'd seen that, but that didn't make any sense. Lisa would be the last person to allow Sowon to make off with some guy when she had a boyfriend. Lisa would be reeling her in and making sure she was okay.
"I dunno. Yoongi and I got into a fight when I tried to talk to him, so then she offered to make me feel better and we were just dancing, but..." Sowon went on.
I blinked and then blinked again. That glint in Lisa's eyes that one day at lunch flashed before my eyes. "Oh," I said dumbly. "Oh my God," I said again as realization stumbled through me. "Wait, she didn't-?"
"No," she sat up straighter and looked at me. "No, no, no. God, no. I mean, she asked me if I was okay and if I was sure like three-hundred times. No, she didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I left kind of like an asshole afterwards. God, I'm such an asshole," she said, burying her face in her hands again.
I gently pat her back. It wasn't like I had a particularly soft spot for cheaters, but Sowon seemed genuinely confused and distraught and as her friend I knew I needed to be there for her. "Are you going to tell him?" I asked gently.
She snorted. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
I nodded slowly. "What about Lisa?"
She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't even know. I didn't even think I liked girls until... I just don't know."
I shrugged and stood up. "Maybe you just like Lisa. I don't know. That's not the most important thing right now. What is important is dealing with this messy bit of cheating and such," I said, crossing my arms and sighing.
She nodded. "God, I didn't want to be this person. He's gonna be crushed," she said softly. "I should have just ended it."
I pat her head again, gently. "Sometimes things just become more complicated than we anticipate."
Sowon left for the frat house and I felt a bit of anxiety for her. It wasn't a pleasant trip she was going on, but hopefully she would at least lighten her burdens a little bit.
I decided to practice a little self care for myself, to ease my own nerves. I ran myself a bath and picked out a special bath bomb I'd been saving and slapped a face mask on. I put a little lavender oil in too, just because it was definitely one of those days.
I eased into the tub and sighed as the warm water lapped at my skin. I let everything float out and away from my mind, thinking of nothing. I wasn't aware of time passing. I may have fallen asleep in the water if it weren't for someone opening and closing the door to the room.
"Anyone here?" Eunha voice called.
"Yeah," I yelled back. "I'm in the bathroom."
She stuck her head in the door and then averted her gaze when she realized I was naked. "Oh, sorry."
"It's fine," I shook my head, although she didn't see because she wasn't looking at me.
"Where's Sowon?" she asked.
I shifted in the water and frowned slightly, remembering Sowon's situation. "She'll be back later," I said, not wanting to tell on Sowon without her permission.
Eunha nodded in understanding.
"Lemme wash my face and I'll come out there, okay?" I said, splashing the water against my face.
She must've agreed because she closed the door and I was alone in the bathroom again. The water was only lukewarm at this point anyway. I finished up and threw a towel on my head and then went out after getting dressed.
Eunha was laying on Sowon's bed and smiling to herself.
"What got you in such a good mood?" I asked her, unable to stop myself from grinning. Her happiness seemed contagious.
She smiled bigger, but her cheeks redden a little. "Well, I was going to wait for Sowon to tell, but," she giggled to herself. "I spent the night with Jimin again last night."
My eyes widened. "Oh, did you finally-?"
"No," she said quickly, but laughed gently again. "No we just talked and... held hands. God, I'm such a dork, aren't I?"
"It's cute," I reassured her.
She shrugged. "We kissed too. Which was nice, and Jimin is so understanding. I mean, it's not like I didn't kind of want to, but having your first time on drugs just seemed a little-"
"Wait, what?" I paused and looked at her, confused.
"Oh," her smile disappeared for a moment and then reappeared, even more sheepish. "Yeah, I forgot. You don't know, right? I'm a virgin still."
My jaw slackened, but I closed it quickly. "What is with today?" I nearly threw my hands up and then looked back at Eunha. "Sorry. No, I didn't. I just... wow, I mean I wouldn't have been telling you to throw it at Jimin so hard if I had known."
She shook her head, "No, no. It's fine. It's not really a big deal. I was kind of insecure about it, but Jimin's been so nice, even when I told him." She smiled dreamily.
I sighed, relief filling me. At least my brother had enough sense to be a gentlemen in that department. I'd have to buy him lunch sometime for not being such a cringy typical frat boy. "Well, I'm glad it's working out for you."
"Speaking of things working out well," she said, suddenly staring at her feet, but she seemed to gather her courage to speak. "Last night you seemed kind of upset," she said softly.
I must have looked a little shocked by her revelation because she frowned more. "Last night?" I asked, memories flashing through my head even as I tried to avoid them and pretend they didn't happened. "When?"
She shrugged and tapped her toes gently. "Well, I mean, when you ran out of Taehyung's room last night?"
I looked at her more seriously, "How did you know I was in Taehyung's room last night?"
Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. She looked down at her feet again and then sighed and looked up at me once more. "Jimin knocked on his door, looking for you. He said you weren't in there, then we went to Jimins room, but-" she paused and then said more softly, "I had to go to the bathroom, which is right next to Taehyung's room and..."
"And you saw me leave," I finished for her, nodding to myself. "Jimin doesn't know?"
She shook her head vigorously. "I didn't tell him the details. I just told him I saw you leave," she said.
I nodded slowly. "Okay." So one person saw, no big deal. It may have been my brothers kinda of girl friend or whatever, but no big deal. "You won't tell anyone, right?"
She shrugged. "Don't tell anyone I'm a virgin and we've got a deal."
I sighed in relief and nodded again. "Deal."
"But if you don't mind me asking, what happened?" she asked.
Clearly, she knew we were doing more than just talking in there. Taehyung had yelled out how he was having sex and to leave him alone, and she had seen me exiting the room in a hurried fashion, so there was enough incriminating evidence that I didn't see the point in hiding from her.
"I have a history with him," I said briefly, as if that really summed it up. "And I had a lapse of judgment last night and may have relapsed into sleeping with him." I scrunched my nose up in disgust with myself and my lack of control.
"But not relationship?" she asked, genuinely curious.
I shook my head. "No, he pretended it never happened, kind of. Never called, you know."
"Oh," she frowned, maybe even a slightly angry look. Then she just looked kind of depressed. "But what if he did? Would you have wanted to be with him?"
I stopped and thought about that for a minute. It hadn't really crossed my mind to think of it like that. I'd been so busy being bent out of shape that he hadn't called or said anything that I never thought about what would have happened if he did. "I don't really know," I said finally.
There was a knock at the door that interrupted us. I got up to open it.
"Hey," Lisa greeted, looking mildly upset and a bit distressed. "Is Sowon here?"
I tilted my head and gave her a sympathetic look. "She's not. She's got some, uhh, things to deal with, you know?"
She nodded, understanding I knew why she was here and that Sowon was off dealing with her crumbling relationship, and slumped a little. "Can I come in?"
I moved out of the way and let her in. Eunha waved to her and she waved back.
"So how was your night last night?" she asked after she shrugged off her coat.
Eunha giggled from where she sat.
"Just about the same as yours," I said, giving her a look.
"You also slept with someone who had a boyfriend?" she quirked an eyebrow, some disbelief, but the same Lisa humor.
"No," I tsk'd. "The other mistake you said I should make," I said, slumping onto my bed.
Her mouth widened and then she nearly shrieked. "You slept with Taehyung?"
Hearing the words aloud made me cringe. "Sorta of. I dunno. He cornered me in a room and then ate me out?" I managed to mumble through my fingers as I covered my face.
"Oh my god," she was screeching and I felt her hit my arm and then peeked to see her hitting Eunha on the shoulder as well. Her face had lightened up considerably. At least she was smiling now.
"But then I left cause I was too ashamed of my ho-ness," I pouted and sat up.
"You didn't even return the favor or give a thank you?" She said eyes wide and then another roar of laughter ripped through her. "Well, it sounds like everyone got a bit of what they wanted last night."
"What about Jungkook?" I asked curiously.
"Well, I was a little occupied up in that little tree house they got out back of the frat house last night. Did you know they actually have heaters up there? Crazy. Anyway, this morning I went by Jungkook's room and let's just say a big grey-haired main only had some boxers on and was snuggled up in that tiny twin size bed," she said, smiling with complete satisfaction.
I cheered and even Eunha gave a little wiggle.
My phone buzzed from beside me. I hadn't actually bothered checking it since last night.
"So who were you with last night?" Eunha was asking Lisa, but my eyes were zeroed in on my phone.
I looked, blinked, and then looked again. I physically turned my head away from it and then looked back once more. Still there, not a delusion. I unlocked my phone and then opened my texts. I ignored every other one and clicked the top most one.
Taehyung: hey, can we meet up and talk?
"What the fuck?" I said aloud. Lisa hadn't figured out how to answer Eunha without outing Sowon for what they did, but that didn't matter now because both girls were focused on me. "What the actual fuck?" I said again.
"What?" Eunha asked, and when I didn't answer Lisa came to my side and looked at the screen of my phone.
"Oh my God. Oh, what the fuck did I tell you?" She was grinning and staring at me then the message. "He wants you baaaaaad," she sang, and got up and starting moving her hips.
"Who is it?" Eunha asked.
"It's umm... it's Taehyung," I said still in complete disbelief.
Despite all my better judgment, I agreed to meet Taehyung. Mostly, I was curious. I expected our sexual encounter to be no different than the last one, and yet here he was, asking to talk. That meant this was different and I wasn't sure how to react to that.
We agreed to meet at a Thai restaurant off campus for lunch. Jimin was still a factor and it was better that he didn't know anything about what happened between Taehyung and I the night before. It seemed we were in agreement about that, at least.
He was already there when I arrived. The waitress led me to his table and then left after I sat down and gave her my drink order.
"Hi," I said before I'd really caught sight of him, and I was glad I did because I wasn't sure I could make my voice sound right afterward. I wasn't used to this weird awkward-nervous feeling around guys but things with Taehyung were just so complicated.
"Hey," he said, cool as a cucumber. No shame. Typical Taehyung, really. He never did let things upset him easily.
Silence persisted between us as he sized me up and I stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. The tension broke when the waitress brought me my bubble tea. I found my voice and thanked her.
I looked back at Taehyung and he didn't seem nearly as scary. I'd known him forever. Almost like a second brother, who I don't see as a brother at all. We had a sexual encounter last night and it's not like I hadn't run into a one-night-stand a time or two before. Those two aspects combined somehow made me calmer. There wasn't a lot of things he could say that would send me off the edge.
"So what do you want?" I said when I'd assured myself enough.
He smiled slyly, as if I'd said something hilarious and unbelievable. "Well, we were kind of in the middle of something last night and you just dipped," he said, as if I'd bailed on him during a group project or something.
"I was done," I said simply. "You cornered me in that room anyway."
He rolled his eyes. "I gave you the chance to leave and made my intentions perfectly clear," although there was still no distress in his voice. He could tell I was making excuses. "Anyway, I wasn't aware you'd become such a selfish lover."
If I hadn't been mid-sip, I would have scoffed at the word 'lover'. Taehyung would be the kind to throw that sort of thing out randomly. So he was mad at me for not giving him a blowjob or something?
"I believe the correct thing to say is, 'Thank you, (y/n) for bestowing me with the beautiful gift between your legs last night,'" I said.
He grinned and didn't miss a beat, repeating, "Thank you, (y/n) for bestowing me with the beautiful gift between your legs last night." His tone was perfectly serious and that made it worse.
I didn't even get a chance to be shy, because our waitress was back and taking our orders. She took the menus when we were done and left us in peace again.
I still kept my voice relatively quiet when I said, "So what? You want a blow job or something?"
His face faltered only for a moment and then he let out a brief laugh, grin still plastered on his face. "I mean, sure, if you're offering." His tongue poked his cheek and he laughed again.
I rolled my eyes. But maybe I was wrong? He was teasing me or something. Why the hell did he wants to meet for lunch if he wasn't even going to tell me?
"Relax, okay?" he said when he noticed I was getting irritated. "I was just curious what it'd be like if I took you out for lunch."
My eyes narrowed and I took a big sip of my drink. First we make out, then he corners me in his room, and now he's taking me out for Thai? Something just didn't add up. "Why?" I asked. It was the simplest way to convey what I was thinking.
He licked his lips slowly, but still as confident as ever. "I just can't stop thinking about you," he said.
I swallowed and then swallowed again. I felt my skin get hot all the way in my stomach and then slowly rise up to the top of my head. It felt similar to being embarrassed, except there was no shame in it. It was very weird hearing such a bold statement of flattery.
I shook it off and took the only response I could responsibly reply with. "Well, I'm not going to sleep with you for some noodles, you know?"
He laughed again. "I tell you I can't get you out of my head and you think I'm trying to bribe you to fuck me with Thai food?" He leaned back against his seat and shook his head, laughing some more. "First of all, if I was going to bribe you with food, I could do better than some Pad Thai. Second of all, if all I needed was some pussy, you think I'd go for my best friend's sister?"
I gave him a look of disbelief and then disgust at the last bit. "Well, why else would I think you meant anything other than having sex? We haven't exactly had any sort of positive interactions outside of sex for over three years, Tae," I said.
"Well, that's not true," he said, but was interrupted by our food arriving.
The waitress set down the plates and asked us if we needed anything else and when we told her no she left. I was thankful for the brief interrupt, at least to pause the momentum of the conversation. I still couldn't wrap my head around what the hell was going on. Maybe I'd overdosed on Jungkook's drugs and now I was dead, but I still couldn't decide if this was heaven or hell.
"We painted together," he said when we were alone again.
"What?" I asked, snapping back to the present moment.
"We painted my art project together," he said again, between bites.
I furrowed my brows. "Tae, we did that because I was angry at you and fucked up your canvas."
He nodded, "Yeah, sure, but it ended up being kind of fun. Also, that night we watched that movie and you slept in my bed."
"Taehyung," I said, warning. He raised his eyebrow at me, but I simply took a bite, I didn't know what to add. Those things had sparked some sort of weird shift between us to me too, but I thought it was just me getting over the way it felt to have sex with him.
"Wait, why were you angry at me? I mean, other than the normal amount?" he asked suddenly.
I felt myself pause. Shit. How did he know exactly how to catch me off guard? "It was just something stupid," I sighed, not meeting his eyes. "Look, it's nice of you to take me to lunch or whatever this is, but I can't do this. It's too weird and things are too complicated between us."
"Why?" he said, reaching his hand across the table and catching my attention. "It's not weird for you to have sex with me, but it's weird if I say I want more?"
"It's weird because I never meant to have sex with you again after last time," I said in a hushed whisper-yell. I wished I could take it back in an instant, but I guess the truth was bound to come out sooner or later.
"What was so bad about that? Cause I took your virginity?" he asked, searching my face for answers.
"Yeah, cause you took my virginity, and then pretended the whole thing never even happened," I said in the same tone as before.
His head cocked to the side slightly and then realization washed over him and he leaned back in his seat again. I could almost see the cogs working in his head, formulating how he'd respond very carefully. "You're right. I was a dick about that whole thing. I'm sorry," he said, not breaking eye contact.
I didn't know how to respond to that. "Well, thanks, but... thanks," I said dumbly. I really hadn't expected him to just come out and apologize.
"I was stupid and eighteen. That's not an excuse, just the facts. I wanted to talk to you back then because I liked you, but with Jimin and everything I just figured it would be better if I kept my distance. I obviously had my priorities mixed up," he said.
I snorted. "So now you're wise and twenty-one?" I asked.
He laughed. "Well, I contacted you, didn't I? You're out here at lunch with me, aren't you?"
"Touche," I said, sighing and leaning back in my seat.
"Stay," he said, suddenly. "Don't walk out and I promise I can make it up to you."
"How? With another date to eat Thai food?" I asked, although I felt myself already wanting to stay just to see what he would really do.
He clicked his tongue and smiled again. "Didn't I already tell you that if I wanted to impress someone I could do better than Thai food? Besides, this isn't a date. This is me asking you to consider going on a date with me because I know I could treat you better than any other guy you've been with."
I raised my brows and shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno, the last guy I was with was gonna be a doctor," I teased.
He snorted, "Yeah, and I'm telling you I'm better." It wasn't that hard of a mark to hit since Jin had cheated on me, but I still felt my chest swell slightly. He wanted to impress me and somehow that already had me slightly impressed.
"Even if I were to say 'yes'," I started, swirling my fork in my food. "What about Jimin?"
He shrugged. "We find a way to tell him together. It'll be weird for him, but it's probably better than him catching us making out or... anything less family-friendly," he chuckled, tongue in cheek again.
"Responsible," I nodded. Jimin actually might not care all the much at all nowadays. It would've been a much bigger deal in high school than now. Besides, if he was willing to relent about Hoseok, he surely didn't have many bad things to say about Taehyung.
"So?" he said, still calm, but I could see he was getting antsy and a little impatient. It made me smile. For once, the ball was in my court, and I kind of liked that, but I also didn't want to toy with Taehyung if he had the balls to drag me out of hiding to ask me for something more serious. It was such a power move that I felt he deserved a straight answer.
"Okay," I said, nodding slowly. I set my fork down and looked straight at him. "I'll go out with you," I said.
His eyebrows raised slightly in surprised, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. Perhaps he thought he'd have to go through a few more hoops, but I was tired of playing games to get where I wanted to go, and if he was going to give it a straight shot, I didn't see why I couldn't do the same.
"Good," he said.
"Great," I said back.
I guess I had a date with Taehyung.
My Heartu Boom Boom