Tyler's POV
I went downstairs to find my mother. She was in the kitchen eating breakfast.
"Good morning, mom." I greeted her. She lifted her face before smiling at me.
"Good morning, dear." She greeted me back.
I usually have my breakfast sent to my room because I didn't feel comfortable eating it in the dining room. It's not only breakfast though. Every meal was sent to my room as I refused to leave my safe place which was my room. I took a seat across from her. Celine came to put a cup of coffee in front of me. I smiled at her politely and she returned it with hers.
"So, how was the landscaping going?" I asked her while putting a jam spread on my toast. It was two weeks ago when my mother decided to renovate the yard of the house in our backyard with a landscaper. I saw the man come and took measurements around the house.
It was supposed to be the house for me and Frank but, that seems to be impossible now. My mother always asked us to move into the house, but Frank would refuse every time. It was because he didn't want people to know what he was doing with me.
She wanted to change the landscape in case I decided to live there. Perhaps far in the future if I am ready I supposed. My night terrors were still attacking me and my mother couldn't leave me alone. But, I am getting used to it right now, being woken up in the middle of the night screaming. There was simply no cure for it. It will stop when it decides to stop, however long will it take.
"It's going fine. Next week Kyle will come back with a blueprint and we'll see how it goes." She answered and I nodded my head.
"Oh, Ty, do you like the marigolds I got for you last time?" She asked, curiously. I nodded my head.
"I love it, mom. They were beautiful." I said while smiling. I love the marigolds that she brought home from the farmer's market.
"Perhaps you should ask the landscaper to plant some in the backyard." I suggested.
"Well, I would ask him tomorrow since I bought it from him." She smirks. My eyes widened at the revelation. The landscaper was also a flower seller?
"He's also a flower seller? I thought he was just a landscaper." I was confused. My mother let out a chuckle.
"He only sells flowers in the farmer's market every Sunday. But he actually owns a landscape company." She explained. I nodded my head. That made me even more curious. Just how many flowers could he sell despite having a landscaping company. The marigolds that my mother bought were vibrant and beautiful.
It became my favourite flower instantly because of the meaning behind it that my mother told me when she gave me. When I asked how she knows the meaning of the flower, she said that the flower seller told her about it. I thought the flower seller was a very old and wise person, but I didn't expect the young landscaper who came to our house two weeks ago was the actual flower seller.
When a thought crossed my head, I could feel a lump in my throat and my palms started to sweat. But I couldn't ignore my curiosity.
"Uh. M-Mom. C-Can I f-followed you t-to the f-farmer's market t-tomorrow?" I stuttered.
Cold sweat begins to trickle on my forehead. I hate the idea of going out and being in a crowd. I often have a panic attack when I am surrounded by a lot of people. I don't want to be judged by people because of my trauma. My mother looked at my face for a while. I could assume she was looking at my face contorted into an uncomfortable look.
"Are you sure, honey?" She asked, concerned. I wanted to say no and change my mind but my curiosity got the best of me. I nodded my head hesitantly. My curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up extra early on Sunday morning because my mother always goes to the farmer's market around 9am. We went out after we had our breakfast. The farmer's market was only twenty minutes away from where we live.
When we arrived at the venue, there were rows of booths on the left and right side of the street. This was my first time going to the farmer's market. There were a lot of people visiting each booth and came out with a bag full of goods. I was amazed by how popular this farmer's market is.
"Thank you George." My mother thanked the driver before getting out of the car.
I hesitantly open my side of the car door. I slowly got out of the car and immediately went to my mother's side before I clasped my hand with hers. I held her hand tightly, afraid I would get lost in the sea of people. I tried to calm myself. When my mother realized I was squeezing her hand tightly, she turned to look at me and stroke my hair.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm here." She said while giving me a warm smile. My nerves had calmed down a little at the sight of her warm smile. She turned to look forward and tugged my hand softly. I followed behind her.
We walked around for a few moments and suddenly my breath became ragged. I was panting hard and my mother noticed it. She pulled me quickly and to the nearby bench and sat me down. I was having a mini panic attack. She calmly asked me to look into her eyes and follow her breathing pace. I took a few deep breaths and exhaled it. I could feel my breathing become slow.
"Can you stay here for awhile? I will buy you a bottle of water, okay?" She asked. I was hesitant for a moment before slowly nodding my head.
"I'll be right back. Keep breathing slowly, sweetie." She said before hurriedly leaving me alone on the bench.
I tried to take a few deep breaths but suddenly I could feel the urge rise in my throat. I closed my eyes and kept on chanting 'go to your happy place' a few times. My hands were gripping my pants tightly. When it felt like it didn't work, I kept on whispering 'mommy please come back' to myself and I could feel my eyes were filled with tears. Suddenly a soft voice spoke to me.
"Mister, are you okay?" I snapped my eyes open and flinched when a young girl appeared in front of my eyes.
Her big blue ocean eyes stared right into my gray ones. She was no older than 5 years old and had very brunette curly hair. Somehow when I was staring into her big eyes, I felt myself calm a little. When I felt like my mini panic attack subsided, I exhaled a very big breath and gave a smile to the little girl. I nodded my head at her.
"Yes. I'm fine now. Thank you." I said to her. She gave me a very big smile. Then, I wondered where the little girl came from. Was her parents around? Was she lost or something?
"Are you alone?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"I came with daddy." She simply said. I took a look around to find a father who lost a daughter, but no one seems to be looking around. Suddenly she held out a flower in front of me.
"For you. I hope it can make you smile." I looked at the flower on her hand. I immediately recognized the flower. It was marigold. The ones that my mother bought for me.
"Where did you get this?" I asked her while taking the flower from her. She just held out her hand for me to clasped it with mine. I hesitate for a moment before clasping mine with her little ones.
She immediately pulled me towards a booth. As we got closer, I could see it was a flower booth. There were a lot of flowers inside the booth. She dragged me to a vase full of marigolds. I gasped before smiling widely. Next to it was daisies and carnations. I let her hand go and began to look around the booth.
There were lavenders, magnolias, roses, dahlias and even sunflowers. My heart flutters at the sight of the beautiful and vibrant colours of the flowers. My eyes caught at the beautiful petals of pink tulips. I walked slowly towards it and grabbed a stalk of tulip. It was so mesmerizing.
"There you are Maya! I've been looking all over for you." A husky voice spoke behind me but I was too deep in studying the pink tulips on my hand.
"This mister was sitting alone and being sad, daddy. So, I bring him the, uh, muh-ri-go-lb." She spoke.
"It's marigold, baby." The man corrected her. I was dazed by the tulips and couldn't feel a presence behind me.
A few moments later, I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I flinched. I was snapped from my trance. I turned around slowly but kept my head down.
"Um. Can I help you?" The man asked. I slowly lifted my head and met his gaze. My breath hitched. My lips parted a bit and I could feel my heart beating erratically in my chest. His green eyes were intense and it was staring deeply into my gray ones.
My mouth was gaping and closing, trying to say something but the words were stuck in my throat and I couldn't say anything.
"Tyler!" I heard someone call my name. Next thing I knew the one who called me turned my body and engulfed me in a warm hug. At that moment, I realized that person was my mother.
"Are you okay? I've been worried sick when I couldn't find you at the bench, where I had left you for a moment!" She rambled while pulling me away from her for a moment before pulling me back into her embraces. I was frozen in my position, unable to say or do anything.
"Don't do that again. You are going to give me a heart attack one day!" She whined. I rolled my eyes at her.
"Mom. I'm okay now. I promised." I simply replied to her. She pulled me away before giving me a glare.
"Mrs Benington." The man from before called her. He snapped both of us from our moments and we turned our heads to him. He was holding the little girl in her arms.
"Oh Kyle! I didn't see you there. Sorry. I was worried about my son when he suddenly disappeared." She rambles again. The man, Kyle, only gave her a smile and I could feel my heart beating hard seeing him smiling. Suddenly I felt my cheeks hot.
"It's okay. So, this is your son?" He asked and my mother nodded her head. I hung my head low, unable to look at him and at the same time hiding the scarlet on my cheeks.
"Yes. This is Tyler. Tyler, this is Kyle. The landscaper I told you about." My mother said and nudged at my arm. I lifted my head and looked at him while giving a shy smile.
"Hi Tyler. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand for a handshake. I moved my hand slowly and clasped it with his. My breath was caught in my throat. I felt like I was being electrocuted by a thousand volts of electricity. I quickly let his hand go and I could feel my cheeks were burning hot.
"H-Hi." Was the only word I could speak, more like stuttered.
"And who is this pretty little thing?" My mother asked about the little girl. Kyle let out a breathy chuckle.
"This is Maya. My daughter." He answered. Somehow, my heart hurt a little at the revelation. My eyes fell on his hand where a gold ring rested neatly on his ring finger. He was married.
"Oh. I didn't know you have a daughter. Where's the mother?" My mother asked. It took Kyle a moment to answer her question.
"She, uh, died 5 years ago during childbirth." He answered and I felt guilty when I heard about his wife. I shouldn't have felt hurt a moment ago. I heard my mother gasp.
"I'm so sorry to hear that." She apologized. He gave her a bitter smile before kissing Maya's cheek gently. My heart melted at the sight.
"It's alright." He said while clearing his throat.
"So, what brings you here?" He changed the subject because of the sudden somber atmosphere.
"Well, Tyler here was eager to follow me to the farmer's market today. To see the person who sells the flower he loves so much." My mother teased. I could feel my cheeks crimson at what she said.
"Mom." I whispered, sounding annoyed at her.
"The marigolds?" Kyle asked. My mother nodded her head.
"Well, I'm glad you love them, Tyler." He said and I think I was turning red as a tomato. I look at his face before giving a shy smile.
"And he was wondering if you could plant it in the yard that you are currently landscaping." She continued. My mother must have enjoyed teasing me like this. How red does she want me to turn?!
"I would be glad to do it if he loved it so much." He said.
"Oh trust me. He will love it." My mother teased again and gave me a side eye glance with a smirk on her lips. I could only stand frozen in my position and let them talk with each other.
"Um. Are there any other flowers that you like to be planted in the yard, Tyler?" He asked me. I looked up at his handsome face and met his gaze. I just noticed how he was taller than me. My heart was pounding hard and I couldn't seem to let the words out of my mouth.
"T-Tulips." I managed to get the word out.
"P-Pink t-tulips." I said again and his eyes fell on the pink tulips on my hand.
He smiled softly before nodding his head at me. I could feel my knees almost buckling when he smiled but I managed to prevent it before I made a fool of myself.
We came back from the farmer's market around noon. I get to meet Kyle's mother, who was a lovely woman. My mother ended up buying the whole bunch of marigold and a bouquet of pink tulips. We also got a bunch of fresh fruits from the next booth recommended by Kyle and also a take out of pork dumplings and Chinese fried rice from the booth right in front of theirs.
After putting all the stuff on the kitchen island, I felt starving so I took the take out containers and poured the fried rice into two plates. I did the same for the dumplings. I carried both plates to the dining hall and sat on the chair. Celine had poured me a glass of water and I smiled at her as a thank you.
My mother sat in front of me after changing clothes and I handed her a plate of fried rice and dumplings. I took a bite from the fried rice and it tasted so good. I also taste the dumpling and I almost let out a moan at how delicious the dumplings were.
"This is too good!" I said excitedly. I never had any Chinese food this good before. I always had Panda Express but this tops every Chinese food that I had before. My mother mimicked my reactions and smiled widely.
"I agreed. This is so delicious. Oh my God!" She said with wide eyes.
"We should buy this again next Sunday." I murmured with a mouth full of food. My mother just nodded her head and gave me a smile.
After the delicious lunch, I watched my mother fill the flower vase with marigolds and tulips. She also taught me how to do it properly. In order to make sure the flowers last longer, cut the stem diagonally according to the height of the vase and remove the bottom leaves. After that, she sprayed the flower with a water sprayer so that the flowers receive enough amount of water and not more. And lastly, fill the vase with enough water to submerge a quarter length of the stem.
I brought the vase up to my room and placed it on the wide wooden top of the giant windowsill of my room. I sat in front of the vase with my knees hugged to my chest and looked at it in awe. It was so beautiful. The wide wooden space of the windowsill was my favourite place. I would bring my pillows and blanket and just sit there with a book on my hand. When it rains, it sets my mood to snuggle on it even more. I spent the rest of my afternoon resting my head on top of my kneecaps and just got lost in the moment, staring into the vibrant colours of the flowers.
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Kyle came over on Thursday morning to discuss the blueprint with my mother. To my surprise, he brought Maya along. He told us that his mother wasn't feeling well and couldn't take care of Maya, afraid she would infect the little girl with her sickness. My mother and I were more than welcome to have Maya around.
I spent time with Maya while they were discussing. When it was time to leave, I bid Maya goodbye with a very sad face. For the next day and Saturday, he also came with Maya. Maya and I got closer and I love having her around me. I felt so happy for the longest time in my life.
My mother and I also went to the farmer's market on Sunday and we stayed at their booth for a while longer than we used to because of how attached Maya was to me. Every time we say our goodbyes, Maya would pout her lips and her eyes would fill with tears. My heart aches each time I see her tears-filled big blue eyes. They came again on Tuesday morning to further discuss the dates to start renovating the yard.
While Kyle and my mother were in the gazebo, I took Maya around the vast backyard. I brought her to see the small garden and also the water fountain. She tugged her hand free from mine before running around the bushes. I started to chase her around and she was squealing and giggling. She was a small bundle of joy. The sound of her giggling always made my day somehow.
I pretended to hide behind one of the bushes but I could still see her before I surprised her and she squealed again. I made some funny faces at her and she let out a fit of giggles. It wasn't until I decided to hide myself completely from her that she frantically searched for me to the point that she almost cried.
When I heard her voice was about to break, I called out her name and came out from my hiding and she ran towards me. I was crouching at the time and she immediately slammed into my body and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, hugging me tightly before letting out a soft sob. My heart was pounding hard at her sobbing and I felt my heart ache listening to her sobbing. Before I knew it, my tears fell from my cheeks. I stroked her hair and kept on saying 'I'm here' at her.
"I thought you left me." She said in between her sob. I kept stroking her hair before she said something that made my heart almost stop beating and I felt that I had stopped breathing at some point.
"Don't leave me, mommy." Her voice cracked. My body froze. I had never felt a wave of emotions hit me before. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body before sobbing along with her. I felt that my soul was already attached to her. I felt the need to protect her. At that moment, I felt like she was my own daughter.
"Are you guys okay?" A voice snapped me out of our moments and I pulled away rather quickly from her.
I looked up before meeting gaze with Kyle and my mother was behind him with both of them having a confused look. Kyle took turn looking at me and Maya. He slowly approached Maya while eyeing me suspiciously. I stood up and hung my head low. My fingers were fumbling with each other.
"Baby girl, why are you crying? Did Tyler do anything to you?" He asked.
I felt offended somehow by his question. I would never hurt Maya if that was what he was thinking. But I couldn't blame him. When he saw both me and Maya cried, of course he would feel suspicious.
"Tyler disappeared from me, daddy. I was scared." She answered. Kyle looked up at me again and I couldn't dare to look at his burning gaze. My mother went to my side and held my hand.
"I thought he left me just like mommy did." She continued and I could see the changes in Kyle's face at the mention of his wife. Maya's face was still stained by her tears.
She did the most unexpected thing. She freed herself from her father's hold and went to me before clasping her tiny hand on mine. I crouched down to her level and gave her a small smile. I wiped the tears from her cute face. Again, she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I could see Kyle's face contorted into an uncomfortable face.
"Mommy, please don't go. I want to stay with mommy."
All of us were stunned by her words, even Kyle. I was beyond speechless. My mouth was opening and closing, trying to say something so that Kyle wouldn't misunderstand. My gaze was interlocked with his burning ones. He was mad. I could tell he didn't like what Maya said.
"Mrs Benington, I think it's time for me and Maya to go home now. We will continue discussing it next week." He said through gritted teeth without breaking our gaze. Before my mother could even reply, he tugged on Maya's hand, breaking our embrace and lifted her up on his arms.
"No! I want to stay with mommy!" She retorted.
Kyle gave her a death glare and she broke into a wailing cry. My heart tugged at the sound of her cries. My instinct was to go and calm her down kicks in but I was trying so hard to refrain myself, not wanting to make the matter worse.
"Maya, it's gonna be okay. Don't cry, please." I tried to calm her down from where I stand and that made Kyle even more furious. He snapped his head towards mine and glared at me. His glare had reminded me of Frank's, prompted me to shut my mouth immediately, unable to say anything because I was scared he would hit me like Frank would've.
"Stay away from my daughter!" He hissed before storming to the house with Maya crying on his arms. He grabbed his toolbox but left the blueprint on the gazebo and rushed out of the house. I could still hear Maya's crying voice and then the sound of the car revved to life and skidded on the road.
My knees finally gave away and I fell down to the gravel before breaking into a wailing cry. My mother tried to comfort me. She pulled me into a tight embrace and I wrapped my arms around her before sobbing hard on her shoulder. It felt as if part of me was snatched from me and I left feeling incomplete without Maya. But I know, she wasn't mine to claim and that made me sobbed even harder.
The rest of the week, I relapsed into depression. I refused to eat and also refused to leave my room. I kept crying myself to sleep and spent time just staring out the window. My heart aches. It also longed to hear Maya's giggling.
There was a knock on the door. I was by the windowsill, hugging my knees close to my chest and leaned my head against the glass. The door creaked open and the person came in.
"Tyler?"
It was my mother. I lifted my head and turned to look at her. She was holding a vase full of marigolds and pink tulips. She closed the door behind her and walked towards me. She placed the vase at the far end of the giant windowsill before sitting in front of me.
"Have you eaten yet?" She asked. I shook my head in response.
"I bought those fried rice and pork dumplings that you love." She coaxed. I wasn't feeling hungry nor did I want to eat. So, I just leaned my head on the glass again and stared into nothingness.
"Please eat something." Her voice cracked.
I couldn't respond to her. I felt so numb. All I wanted was to see Maya again. I didn't even realize my tears fell on my cheeks at the thought of Maya. I really miss her. I want to see her again but I know that was impossible. Kyle had already warned me to stay away from her.
When she saw that I didn't respond to anything she said, she stood up and left my room. I was left alone again. My gaze turned to the vase in front of me. I stared at the marigolds and tulips. A memory of Maya found me sitting on a bench alone and she had given me a marigold that came into my mind. I unconsciously smile at the memory before I tucked my face into my knees and let out a soft sob.
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