Jisung realized that he was in love with Chenle.
But this realization also meant something else.
That Jisung wasn't straight. Was he gay?
Or maybe he was straight and his feelings for Chenle were just confusing him?
Because Jisung still liked girls.
But did he like them romantically or even sexually?
Or was he just bisexual?
Why did things like this always have to be so complicated?
Jisung groaned, getting Jeno's attention from the other side of their bedroom.
Jisung just shook his head, telling him that it was nothing.
Although actually it was really important for the youngest.
Chenle was confusing him and his sexuality and Jisung needed to do something about it.
The Dreamies were sitting together and ate late lunch.
Renjun and Jeno were talking about a KDrama, they both have started to watch, while Chenle and Jaemin argued about who needs longer in the bathroom.
Chenle normally lived with his parents now but from time to time he came back to his second family for a meal or a sleepover or during comeback time.
Jisung wasn't included in any conversation, his mind in a completely different place.
Jisung continued chewing on his food, not remembering that he was eating and didn't even swallow.
Jaemin looked up and to Jisung.
"Jisung? Jisung?", he tried to get the younger's attention but without success.
"Jisungie?", it was Chenle's voice, which brought him back to reality.
Jaemin chuckled. "Are you alright?"
"Huh?", Jisung looked at them with wide eyes.
"Oh yeah. Yeah. Was just thinking."
"Seems like a really capturing thought.", Jaemin was smiling a little.
"Uhm, I guess", Jisung shrugged, not wanting to share that his thoughts were actually about his sexual confusion created by his feelings for his best friend.
Renjun and Jeno also stopped talking about their series and joined their conversation.
"So, I will meet WinWin later", Renjun said.
Chenle furrowed his brows.
"You are meeting him really often these days.", Chenle said a little bit confused, since Renjun and WinWin were friends, yes, but never this close.
"We are just getting along really well these days. It is fun seeing him and we both have time, so why not. Soon he will be busy with WayV, so we just enjoy the time together till then.", Renjun shrugged, lied, but no one knew, except one person in the room.
WinWin already was really busy and Renjun wasn't going to meet him.
But the truth is not for now to tell.
"Alright. Me and Jeno are going to the cinema later. So seems like you two are home alone for a while."
Jisung and Chenle nodded, not minding it at all.
Chenle was leaving in the evening, so it was nice for Jisung to have some company till then and Chenle was just happy to spend some time with his best friend.
The door closed and Chenle and Jisung were officially alone.
"So, what should we do? Play some games?", Chenle asked.
Jisung looked up from the floor and bit his lip.
"Chenle, I have to tell you something. Or I have to tell someone. I am just confused and-", Jisung rambled but Chenle cut him off.
"Hey, what is wrong?", Chenle sat down next to him on the couch.
Jisung fidgeted with his fingers and avoided eye contact.
"Chenle, do you think I could be-", Jisung took a deep breath. Now or never. "Do you think I could be gay?"
Chenle chocked on his own spit and coughed loudly.
"Sorry, what did you just say?"
"No, sorry it is stupid. I shouldn't have said that.", Jisung stood up and went to the bedroom.
"Jisung, no, wait.", Chenle went after him.
He reached him at the bedroom door and gently grabbed his wrist.
Jisung slowly looked back and in his eyes.
"What makes you think that?", Chenle asked in this really soft voice, which made Jisung's heart melt.
"I don't know.", Jisung sighed. "I am just so confused these days."
"Let's sit down, okay?", Chenle said and pulled Jisung with him in the room.
They sat down on Jisung's bed.
And then Chenle leaned forward and hugged Jisung tightly.
"First of all, I want to tell you: I love you. No matter what."
Jisung hugged him just as tight back.
It was the right moment for Chenle to tell Jisung that he was gay himself.
But Chenle was too scared.
Jisung said he was confused. What if he wasn't really gay and would reject Chenle in the end?
Chenle couldn't bear that.
"I love you too.", Jisung said and slowly let go of their hug.
Both their 'I love yous' meant actually more than they knew in this moment.
Chenle took a deep breath and carefully put Jisung's hand in his own.
"So you think you could be gay?"
"Maybe", Jisung intertwined their fingers.
"So suddenly?"
"Maybe I am just confused because of Jaemin and Jeno. I thought a lot about it since they told us they are a couple. I mean, it doesn't mean we all have to be gay. But maybe this was a moment that made me realize that I am."
"Do you have any interest in guys?", Chenle's voice was so soft and understanding, Jisung wanted to cry.
It also didn't help that Chenle gently brushed his thumb over Jisung's hand.
"I am just so confused", Jisung admitted.
"Do you want to find out?", Chenle asked, didn't look away from their intertwined hands.
"Huh?", Jisung looked up really fast. "What do you mean?"
"I could help you find out. You know, if you could like boys. I mean, I am one."
"You don't have to", Jisung said but inside he wanted to know where Chenle would go with this.
"But I want to", Chenle suddenly looked up and his gaze was so intense, Jisung gasped.
"Okay", Jisung whispered, curious and full of fear at the same time for what would come.
"Okay", Chenle repeated.
"Do you trust me?", Chenle asked and Jisung could do nothing but nod. "Always."
Chenle made Jisung lean back and then he crawled slowly, almost carefully, in Jisung's lap.
"Is this okay?", Chenle needed to be sure and Jisung nodded. "Words, Jisung-ah. I need words."
"Yes, this is more than okay", Jisung blushed and Chenle continued.
He gently brushed his fingers over Jisung's cheek up to his forehead, where he delicately tucked his hair behind his ear.
"You are really beautiful, Jisung-ah", the older's words made Jisung gasp.
He wanted to tell him 'not as beautiful as you' but Chenle didn't let him talk.
The smaller started kissing his one cheek, then the other, his forehead, his one temple, then the other, his nose. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Don't stop", Jisung answered, his eyes already closed.
Chenle kissed his one eyebrow, then the other, his one eye, then the other, his lips slowly went lower and lower. He kissed just above his lips.
"Tell me to stop.", Chenle pleaded.
"I don't want you to.", Jisung admitted and put his hand behind Chenle's neck, giving him the courage, that he needed.
Slowly, really slowly, their lips came closer and closer.
Till they finally
touched.
Chenle let an unintentionally moan slip past his lips, making Jisung kiss him just harder.
Chenle whined, burying his hand in Jisung's hair.
The kiss was slow but still everything.
Jisung gently traced his tounge over Chenle's lips and when the younger gladly opened,
Jisung panicked.
"Chenle. Chenle. Stop!", he gently pushed Chenle away from him.
Chenle immediately stopped and leaned back, his eyes full of shock.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry.", Chenle hurried to say.
Chenle got off Jisung's lap in a second, looked at Jisung for another one, and left the room in the next one.
"Chenle", Jisung shouted after him but Chenle was already out the door, out the dorm, running home.
Because Chenle didn't saw it.
He misinterpreted the look in Jisung's eyes.
Chenle looked in Jisung's eyes after the kiss, and all he saw was fear.
Jisung wasn't gay. And he definetely wasn't in love with him.
He really was just confused and the kiss made him realize that.
Chenle fuxked up so bad.
Why would he ruin their friendship so easily?
But Chenle was so, so wrong.
The look in Jisung's eyes wasn't fear in the way Chenle thought it was.
Jisung didn't realize that he wasn't gay and just confused.
No, Jisung realized something else.
He realized how much he actually loved Chenle.
And that made him scared. Because during the kiss, he was so close to drown in Chenle.
But when Chenle ran out of the door, also Jisung misunderstood the situation.
He thought that he put the older in a really uncomfortable situation.
Chenle wasn't gay and he pulled him in his mess.
How could he do this do his best friend?
He wanted to run after him, ask for forgiveness.
But Jisung couldn't.
Because his heart just got broken.
And the thing with misunderstandings is, they can become your worst enemy.
And that was how Jisung's and Chenle's friendship broke. Bit by bit.
Because, what does it need to bring two friends apart, right?