"Sometimes our heart needs more time to accept what our mind already knows."
"How does it feel now?"It is written in the text.
Who the hell is sending this type of message? This is definitely not sent by mistake. Someone is doing this intentionally. He/she is messing with my life. I have to find who is doing these.
Thinking all these are making me burst into tears again. A great tremor overtook me. I threw my phone on my bed as I climbed in my bed, burying my face in the pillow. Salty tears started to stream down from my eyes but they are immediately soaked by the covers. I started to sob uncontrollably. My eyes dripping the tears like a stubborn mule. My walls, the walls that hold me up, make me strong just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall.
I've been loyal to everyone in my life. I've never cheated on anyone. I've never made people suffer for me intentionally. I am always friendly and caring. Then why? Why me? Why is someone doing this to me?
I need to talk to Taehyung about this. I need to. I have to stop this. I have enough of this bullshit. I stood up on my feet from my bed. I wiped my tears away from my face as I hurried over grabbing my bag and phone and head out of the room.
All my mind could think now is I have to find that person. I rushed out of my home as I started to call him. But it's not available. I continued to call him while I called a taxi.
I hurriedly step in heading to Teahyung's place. There was still some hope in me that everything would be fine if we sort these things. We're gonna find together.... find who is doing this?
Worry and fret agonized me like an ocean splashing its waves on the shore. Like hail on a glass pane, the drumming of my fingers was as relentless as it was loud. Each click of the french polished nails on the solid spot echoed the tumultuous thudding of my heartbeat. My face, rigid with tension, belied my youthfulness, I seemed to have aged a decade in the past few minutes.
Every possible or impossible negative thought is clouding my mind. My palms are sweating. I look like a mess now. Puffy eyes and red face.Messy hair.Smudged makeup. I look like a disaster. Who thought that a beautiful morning would become such a disaster in my life?
No...no..everything gonna be okay. I just have to talk about all these texts about Taehyung. But why he's not available on the phone? I pulled my hair in frustration for the millionth time.No matter how much I try to calm down, it's just impossible for me. Just at that time, something popped in my mind.
I need to call my best friend. I immediately brought my phone as I started to find his number in my contact list in stress. I called him as it rings. But he doesn't pick up immediately. And those few seconds were making me crazy.
Finally, he picks up."Chim, I need you at Tae's place now."I immediately said as soon as he picked up the call."Hey, are you okay? Why are you sounding like this?"He asks but this question is annoying me more. How could I be okay now? When everything is falling apart in my life.
"Meet me at Tae's place now.Hurry."I said with a cold tone."Okay. I'm coming."He says as I hung up the phone immediately.
Cold sweat glistened on my furrowed brow. With hands clasped tightly in front of my stomach, I constantly fiddled with my knuckles, weaving my fingers in and out of each other. Every second is feeling like a year.
On any other autumn morning, I would have smiled at the couples filling the cafe sidewalk. I would have seen my future reflected in them, my hand being touched gently by a man who adored me and a shy smile playing on my lips. And that man should always be Taehyung.
But why is it feeling like everything is over? Everything is over with Taehyung. Why I'm feeling like I would never see Taehyung again. Tears streamed down from my chins, drenching my outfit without my realization.
I never expected a day like this in my life. I never expected that it is today. Everything was so good at the beginning of the day.
Finally, I reached there as I stepped out of the car. I was walking unusually slowly, almost robotically, as if my brain was struggling to tell each foot to take the next step. It was as if I were in a stupor; like someone under hypnosis in one of those scooby-doo cartoons.
My shoes slapping against the stone steps that led to the front door.
Fallen leaves littered the walkway, bathing it in dark red and orange, and I stepped on them with a satisfying crunch. The porch light was off, and the familiar yellow glow was absent which made the house feel soulless and empty. A brand new flower pot to the right of the door was filled with pink and yellow chrysanthemums.
"What are you doing here, honey? He has left an hour ago."A middle-aged woman who is Tae's neighbor spoke up, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at her shocked as she examines my face realizing my disastrous look."Where?"I asked as my voice cracks again."He didn't tell me that, but I think he has left this house."
"What?"