Tom's POV
I drawn the bottle of beer to my mouth and drank half the contents of it.
Tonight should be a night of victory.
A party.
A whole celebration.
A proud moment to be in.
We all looked forward to this annually. We prepared ourselves, shed sweat and blood. And it was all worth it in the end.
The game kept me busy since we got back from Bournemouth. Practicing in the field day and night, and battered myself in the gym everyday. All my effort and our hard work paid off when out of 12 clubs in England, we won the premiership league for three consecutive years. Everything seemed to be in order according to plan.
But why do I feel like shit? I should be happy, now that Christine is also back. This is what I hoped for, to win the championship and have her back, right?
Right?
But how and why on earth I feel as though there's something not right about this?
I felt like there was a massive weight on my chest for the last few months. Like rowing a boat that wouldn't go anywhere. Like I was rowing in the same exact place, in circles, over and over again.
I stole a glance at Riley, who was sitting in between Biddy and Marc at the end of the table.
Is she avoiding me?
I could feel a slight tension headache building up in my head.
The bar was packed and noisy, but all I could hear was her laughter. She was laughing with whatever Marc was saying. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I don't like how it made me feel.
I hate it.
I'm just drained that is all, I defended myself.
It had been a few months since we left Bournemouth after that steamy night in the hotel
Steamy is an understatement.
I woke up before noon that day and wasn't surprised to see her beautiful face in my arms. Her hair was a bit of a hot mess from all our sexcapades, yet he looked peaceful and ever so beautiful. I stayed there lying in bed just taking in the moment with her for quite awhile.
Then I remembered what I told her.
"Riley, I can't promise you anything.. I don't wanna hurt you."
It was like an echo to my head.
I stole another look at Riley. She never looked at me again after I was about to approach her before Christine turned up.
Why do I have a feeling that I'm hurting her?
Goddammit.
Marc whispered something to her ear which made her laugh.
My jaw tensed.
The ache in my head was growing every second seeing her laugh with him.
Marc liked her. It was bloody obvious.
I remembered that day when we came back from the farm. I didn't realise they were somehow close. That was one of the reasons why I decided to leave her be with my mate.
A small part of me wanted to just leave her alone.
However, I couldn't understand why I acted like a complete jerk when I saw her with another guy, whom I recognised who worked at the tiki bar. I didn't quite understand why Marc was pretty cool with it too.
I got annoyed.
However, I couldn't get my eyes off of her. It wasn't my place to keep an eye on her, but my heart was almost in my mouth when I saw a wave coming to hit her paddle board. I ran and didn't think twice of pushing one of the boys, who was about to get on the ski, out of the way. I saw her struggled and I thought she was gonna drown.
It bloody scared the shit out of me!
I didn't mean to tell her to get off that bleeding board and embarrassed her in front of everyone, but after what I saw, I didn't think I'd let her waste her life away.
Because you cared for her.
It's not that! I'd do it for anybody!
Yeah ok.
But still, it was bang out of order and I realised I was too hard on her. So, I went to see her that night to check how she was feeling and apologise about my behaviour that morning.
So when I went up to her room, I was surprised to see a fresh showered Riley in her thin night gown. I could almost see her soul! And she seemed like she was expecting someone else too, in that state. My brain was clouded with irrational thoughts.
Don't ask me why.
It wasn't my intention to kiss her, I was only gonna try to calm her down and shut her up. But with just one look at her golden eyes, all my self control went completely out of the window. Especially when I felt her lips. When I tasted her mouth. It drove me completely out of my wits especially the way she responded to me.
I had to admit, she never left my mind since the first day I got to feel her lips. The very first night we met. Even though, it was just all part of the game, but I couldn't help it. I dreamt about it. The kiss. Her. She lived in my fantasy. I imagined her beyond just kisses. A big part of me wanted to explore her.
And so I did.
She was so gorgeous. She was beautiful inside and out. So sweet, and so fucking wet. I could still taste her sweet cum exploded in my mouth.
There was just something about Riley that I craved to satisfy my very own selfish needs.
I could still remember the look on her gorgeous golden eyes, the desire of wanting me. The fire. And she burnt me completely alive. I wasn't really sure myself if what we were doing then was a mistake or not. I was so fixated in getting back with Christine, but at the time she didn't even cross my mind. Riley was just so hard to resist.
So addictive. She was more than a drug.
She consumed me and blown my mind away.
I didn't know how to explain to her that I wasn't looking for a relationship after or anything like that. And most especially, I didn't want to complicate things with Marc.
I remembered her saying it was just a one off. I didn't know if I should be pleased or not. But she wanted me and she had no idea how good it made me feel.
So, I couldn't resist her any longer. It was beyond selfish of me, but I thought I would rather have her once than never.
I didn't expect her that night at all. She was a little bomb of surprises. So hot and beautiful. So sexy as fuck.
And boy it was one of the best night of my life.
I left on that same day too. Unsure of what to do when she woke up.
I was guilty.
And confused. Very confused.
I mean, Marc is my mate and he seems to really like her.
I tried to get back to normal as much as I could. I kept reminding myself to concentrate on the game and maybe Christine. To try to convince her and myself that we belong together, stick to the life we planned together. But everytime I tried to convince myself, I couldn't stop thinking about Riley.
I know we had an understanding that it was just a one off. And before Christine, I had a fair share of no strings attached, but this one, with Riley, it was different. I had no idea why. It was so mind boggling. I tried so hard to put her behind my thoughts, thinking that I was just lonely when I went to Bournemouth.
However, since I got back to reality..
No!
My reality is right here next to me and I should stick to that. So I have to speak to Riley and make things clear with her.
I thought that if I spoke to her that I'd be guilt free and be able to carry on with my normal routine. I might be able to stop thinking about her and what we did together.
But what should I say to her?
How do I initiate a conversation without making it so awkward? I'm not used to this shit. And how do I make a straight face to someone I have touched, tasted and mastered from head to toe?
God help me.
I finished my drink and stole another glance her way. She was sucking a piece of lemon.
It reminded me of that day I took her to the farm. She looked gorgeous in her sunny dress and white canvas shoes whilst picking lemons carrying her little woven basket. She reminded me of when I was young, when I used to visit my nan and used to pick apples.
I mean, she doesn't look like my nan obviously cause that would be sick.
But she reminded me of that nostalgic feeling of being in your comfort zone, where you worry about nothing in the world. Maybe, it was her golden eyes. Maybe because she was a very warm person.
Or maybe it's just simply because of the way she is, God knows.
She was so brilliant how she carried herself with little Bailey. She'd make a wonderful mother one day without a doubt.
It was a perfect afternoon as far as I remembered. She told me about her life and we danced. That was the time when I realised that I was really attracted to her. Fascinated everything about her.
My train of thoughts got cut off when I saw Riley stood up and excused herself.
It was the perfect time to speak to her and clear the air.
I checked on Christine but she was chatting with one of our teammates girlfriend. I told her I was going to the toilet.
It might be the only chance I get to speak to Riley.
I waited for her outside the loo and leaned against the wall.
I straightened my back as soon as I saw her.
"Riley."
She jumped when she saw me.
"Tom." She looked around.
I wondered what she was thinking.
Is she worried that Marc will see us?
I put my hands in my pocket. "How are you?" I looked at her golden eyes and it gave me the familiar warmth inside once again. I almost told her that she was all I could think of when I saw the first golden leaves that fell on the ground during the start of Autumn.
"I'm very well, thanks. Congratulations by the way. You all did really well."
"Thank you." 'You look as incredible as ever', I almost say to her.
"How have you been?" She forced a smile.
"I'm good. Been really busy."
She nodded.
Then we fell into an awkward silence.
I noticed her biting the inside of her mouth. Her feet a little fidgety.
Do I make you nervous, Riley? I wanted to ask her.
"Riley, I.." I didn't know where to begin. "Christine's back." I wasn't sure why I told her about Christine instead of saying it was nice to see her looking all well.
She looked at me with questions in her eyes for a split of seconds. "Well, I'm happy for you."
"So, are we cool?"
Are we cool? Really?
I wanted to punch myself. It made me sound like a proper dickhead.
"Of course." She nodded.
"Let's just pretend it didn't happen."
What the fucking hell did just came out of my mouth?
She paused. She looked at me looking a little surprised and irritated.
Damn it. Why can't I concentrate properly?! She's making my brain all crumbled into pieces!
I needed to step back a little. I felt like I couldn't think very clearly when she was only a few inches away from me. I could even smell her familiar scent, that sent signals to my brain which affected my reasoning.
My brain had gone out of sorts.
"I supposed you've not told.. I mean you're not going to-"
"Tom." She was quick to stop me. "I would never, even a single thought of wrecking your relationship or anyone's for that matter."
I felt like I had been slapped.
I was gonna say something, but when I looked into her big round eyes, they weren't golden as I remembered them to be. It wasn't Riley's. It was someone I hardly recognised.
It was empty and cold.
"I am truly happy for you. And look, I remember what we agreed on, so don't worry." She forced a smile. "So, if you'll excuse me."
I looked at Riley disappeared from the crowd, while I remained to where I was standing.
I should be relieved that we understood each other, right? But why do I have this sinking feeling inside me? We may have won the Championship tonight but I feel like I've lost the game.
I felt like that boat I was rowing just sunk to the bottom of the ocean.
Completely.