Not again. Please, not again.
Xiao Zhan's grip on the wheel tightened with each burst of memories that danced in his mind. Why did Xiao Zhan have to encounter his loved ones getting injured from a car accident again? What did he do to even deserve the first trauma? How could another collision reoccur in this lifetime?
If Yibo... if he's... Xiao Zhan clenched his teeth, borderline biting his tongue. You can't leave me, damn it! Xiao Zhan slammed on the brakes.
He drifted into the garage and parked his vehicle like a new driver who disregarded the lines. Xiao Zhan slammed the door shut and ran towards the Emergency Department, without a care for how tussled he looked. He also didn't have the mind to remember that he and Yibo were still under the watchful eyes of the world.
Xiao Zhan headed to the nurse's station and inquired, "There was a car accident that should have arrived recently. It involved Wang Yibo. What room is he in?"
Startled by Xiao Zhan's sudden and frazzled appearance, the nurse was at a loss for words. She took a moment to register the man who was always so put-together and calm but now appeared like a resident on their first emergent case. She then remembered the rumors that have been circulating and gained insight into the current situation. Xiao Zhan had a special relationship with the patient, so it's expected for him to react this way.
"Trauma Bay C," Xiao Zhan had already marched away before the nurse could provide additional information.
"I thought Dr. Meng was on-call tonight," another nurse commented. They looked at each other and made a silent agreement to not speak of this mistake. Xiao Zhan wasn't the attending doctor, and the nurse had disclosed the patient's information inappropriately. Arguably, it wasn't completely her fault for not knowing who was on-call. Besides, even if she knew, what power did she have to not answer the higher-ups?
Speaking of the devil, Zoey appeared a minute later asking if the nurses had seen Dr. Xiao. The two replied in unison, "Trauma Bay C."
Xiao Zhan arrived at the trauma room without a patient insight. There was only the aftermath of urgent resuscitation and emergent procedures to stabilize the patient. Sometimes, the process was quick and clean; at others, it was a hectic blood bath. Xiao Zhan stared at a puddle of velvet near one bed and tried to convince himself that he was in the wrong room.
He took one step backward, wanting to run away from the possibilities. Instead, he crashed into a staff member. "T-the patient here," Xiao Zhan pointed towards the bloody battlefield, attempting to sound coherent.
"He's in the OR right now." Xiao Zhan took a sharp inhale. Being there was never a good thing. It meant that the injury was detrimental and needed surgical repair. "Got the most damage in the accident. I'll be amazed if he walks out with all his appendages."
Since Xiao Zhan's brain has stopped operating, he didn't verify with the staff about who she was referring to. Instead, his legs carried him towards the OR floor. Running with tunnel vision, he didn't notice that he ran past Zoey nor heard her yelling his name. Besides, unless the person told him that Yibo was actually at Xiao Zhan's apartment, rummaging through his refrigerator for midnight food like the brat he was; it didn't matter.
The elevator doors 'ding' and Xiao Zhan stepped onto the OR floor. Each step felt like he was treading through quicksand. They were heavyweights that were holding him down, but the emergent desire towards a goal pulled him through. Once he reached the primary entrance, the status board showed only one occupied room. Yibo.
Asides from the receptionist, no other souls were present. If the staff didn't acknowledge his presence, Xiao Zhan would have continued to convince himself that this was a dream: a nightmare.
But no, another human noticed. He was truly here, and Yibo was really ... really...What else was Xiao Zhan supposed to do? He drove all the way here, ran to this spot, and this was the closest he can get to Yibo. He couldn't even see the man, hear his voice, or feel his presence. On the other side of this door, Xiao Zhan did not know about what was happening. Like in the past. Will history repeat itself and Xiao Zhan will lose the opportunity to say any last words?
Without making a single sound, Xiao Zhan lifelessly sat down and waited. The receptionist recognized Xiao Zhan but discerned the defeated look that he displayed. It was a common expression from those who were waiting while their loved one was fighting through life and death. She sympathized with Xiao Zhan and understood that silence was necessary.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Goes the clock.
Swish. Swish. Swish. Moved the custodian and his mop.
Click. Click. Click. Sounded the receptionist's keyboard.
Thumb. Thumb. Thumb. Cried Xiao Zhan's heart.
Was time even moving or was Xiao Zhan trapped in a frozen state.
"...Zha..."
At least he knew he was still alive. His heart was beating loud enough to revive the dead.
"...ao Zhan..."
His head was feeling heavy. Was he going to pass out in his hospital?
"Zhan-ge!" A hand pulled him back to the land of the living.
Xiao Zhan first heard a familiar voice that tickled his heart; then felt the warmth from a large, comforting hand. Please. Please be You. Xiao Zhan's eyes blurred with burning tears as he stared into a pair of eyes that meant the world to him.
Thank God. Xiao Zhan collapsed into a pair of arms that provided more comfort than he could ever dream of or deserved.
"Zhan-ge," Yibo whispered.
"Just," Xiao clutched onto Yibo's shirt and took a slow inhale, "a few minutes."
With several inhales and exhales, Yibo felt Xiao Zhan's tension slowly eased away. Sensing that the atmosphere was more tranquil, Yibo tried to speak again. "Zhan-ge."
Still not ready to let go of Yibo, Xiao Zhan replied with his face nuzzled in Yibo's chest. "I thought you were in there," Xiao Zhan's throat tightened. "I thought..."
Yibo had an inkling of what was going on when he noticed how devastated Xiao Zhan appeared to be. Yibo wanted to smack his own head for not trying to contact Xiao Zhan in the past few hours. How stupid of him to hope that he could hide this incident and not worry his Zhan-ge when he was being treated at the man's hospital. His stomach churned at the thought of how startled Xiao Zhan must have been to hear the news from someone else. He must have been terrified to speculate that Yibo was injured enough to be in the OR. Damn it Wang Yibo!
He pulled Xiao Zhan tighter into his embrace as if there's still a mountain between them. Yibo made sure that Xiao Zhan could feel his warmth, hear his heartbeat, and sense his very existence. "I'm here. Sorry."
Xiao Zhan couldn't trust the sounds he would make, so he shook his head against Yibo's chest. Don't. It's not your fault, it's mine. If you didn't come to see me, this wouldn't have happened. I am sorry.
"Ahem," the sounds of someone else readjusted YiZhan's attention to their surroundings.
"Surgery is done," Zoey commented to inform the men and gave them a heads-up to control their intimacy in this setting.
Xiao Zhan greeted Zoey for it was his "first" time seeing her tonight. Zoey sighed at the confirmation of how terrified Xiao Zhan must have been to not have noticed her earlier.
The OR doors opened, and the surgeon walked out. Zoey walked to Xiao Zhan's side as Yibo conversed with the doctor. "How is Han-ge?"
"He's stable now. The multiple rib fractures punctured his lung and caused internal bleeding."
Pneumothorax and hemothorax. Ah, the blood must be from a chest tube placement. The mindset of a doctor was always active, even when personal life was causing havoc. The moment Xiao Zhan heard the surgeon's words, his medical knowledge kicked in and allowed him to process the images that he saw in the trauma room. It also helped to know that the blood was not from Yibo.
"Will he be all right," Yibo's voice trembled.
"Once we get the blood out and allow air in, that's fixing half of the damage." Xiao Zhan answered, knowing that Yibo would gain more comfort from his words than the surgeon. This wasn't about status or knowledge, it resulted from more trust being placed on people you know versus strangers. Xiao Zhan also recognized the surgeon, so he knew that his actions wouldn't offend her.
Yibo released the tension that he was carrying and smiled gently at Xiao Zhan, grateful for his reassurance. He then looked back towards the surgeon to hear the rest of her report.
The surgeon nodded her head in agreement with Xiao Zhan. "Normally, we leave broken ribs to heal themselves. However, Mr. Wang Han's situation is worse than the norms, so we set screws and plates to secure the bones. All-and-all, he's stabilized now and will need a few months to recover."
Being the only person in this circle who didn't understand medicine, Yibo was simply delighted to hear that Han-ge will recover. As for the surgeon's other explanation, he'll inquire Xiao Zhan when their nerves weren't so wired up.
YiZhan stayed at the hospital long enough to see Wang Han's resting state inside his hospital room. The man was Yibo's key driver and doesn't have any family or significant others in this city. Because of how often they interacted, Yibo treated the man as an older brother and will ensure that he recovered well.
Yibo was also feeling bitter at how they were in the same vehicle, yet one person walked out with a few scratches and the other had to be operated on. The world was truly unfair.
While Yibo clenched his fists for one reason, Xiao Zhan clenched his at the thought of Yibo being the one on that bed instead.
Zoey, who stood at the door and watched the two foolish men displaying their emotions for the world to see. She was only looking at their backs and could read them so well, she couldn't imagine what their facial expressions were like.
Zoey shook her head and disrupted them once more. "All right, all right. As you can see, he's breathing and alive. It's almost four A.M.," She looked at her watch, "go home."
Like two zombies, YiZhan followed Zoey's order and headed towards the parking garage. They entered Xiao Zhan's car, drove back to his apartment, entered the complex, and lay down on the bed; all without making a single sound. It wasn't that they didn't want to talk, but there was too much to say. Each of their thoughts was running a hundred kilometers a minute and producing more words than their minds can process. However, they've also exceeded their limits and have exhausted their every being.
For now, they silently agreed to just rest. All that was needed right now was to be near each other's presence and hearing the sounds of their hearts beating lively. Before closing his eyes, Xiao Zhan sent a message to Zhuo Cheng.
[XZ: Do you still need an assistant?]
Author's Note: My formats got deleted when I transferred this onto Wattpad so if you notice any "thought content" that aren't italacized, that's why. I hope I fixed them all.